Jelly Beyond Convention
by CleoCole
Summary: Jen and Tilly love them. Love all of your fanFiction. Hope you like mine :o
1. Reunited

**Been really enjoying your Jelly fiction…so I thought I would pay it forward. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to inspire the direction of this story by comments and suggestions. Hope you enjoy. Xx**

Anyone who has ever experience true grieving, of any kind, knows the feeling. A feeling that your chest is collapsing and the air is being sucked out your lungs. Tilly did not know the feeling…she was too young to have lost anyone close. She was too young to have been close enough to anyone to experience true loss. Yet here she stood, doubled over in pain, grasping at her chest. Not understanding the real implication of this metaphysical reaction. She was reacting to Jen walking away, after ending their relationship for the last time…Her heart was breaking.

Sometimes life can only really begin with the knowledge of death; a moment where you no longer fear your life ending and instead secretly long for it. Not because you wished to die but because you didn't believe you could get through that painful moment. Yet the heart keeps on beating just the same and you survive, wiser.

Emotionally numb, the minds amnesia to hurt, the young women had passed the following two weeks keeping themselves as occupied as possible. This was not a huge task because both had extremely busy schedules; Jen completing her placement, creating lesson plans and the resulting marking. Tilly was in the middle of crucial exams.

Jen, needing retreat from her workload, had gone for a walk. An unconscious pull had led her to the place she had last seen Tilly. It was the first time she had allowed herself to contemplate her actions that day and the first time she had allowed herself to feel the pain of losing Tilly; she hadn't planned to confront her feeling today. She, however, not only came face to face with her demons…she came face to face with Tilly.

Tilly was sat on the bench and had not seen Jen arrive.

"Hey, you." Jen broke the silence and flashed a sincere smile at Tilly.

Tilly looked up and smiled back but did not speak. She looked back at her feet trying to ignore Jen and the surge of pain that had just ricocheted through her numbness. The lack of response upset Jen but she knew she deserved it; she moved towards the bench and began to sit down.

"Don't" Tilly announced suddenly as she placed a hand where Jen had attempted to sit down. Jen stared longingly into her companions green eyes but did not sit.

"I don't want you here. I don't want talks of friendship or future friendships. I may be young but even I'm not naive enough to believe that a friendship between us could work. My attraction for you is beyond platonic." Tilly spoke calmly but her words were laced with sarcasm and anger.

Jen stood not moving or speaking, she was in shock; shock at Tilly being so forthright. She was also impressed by her maturity and totally scared by the feelings that this was arousing in her.

Tilly was also in shock. Her words had come out unrehearsed and raw; she had not intended to attack Jen. She was not angry at this beautiful woman; she was anger at the circumstances they were in. She did not doubt how Jen felt for her but believed she was being a coward. 'Defy convention' her inner voice screamed.

Yet, she of all people, understood sacrifice of 'fun' for success. She was well known amongst her friends as the sensible and studious student; wasn't Jen just prioritising the same. Section 28 may have been lifted; despite this a person in a professional role responsible for young people, could not date anyone less than 18yrs.

Her anger may have been real but it was selfish. Jen was not a coward she was being an adult, an adult who had the courage to make a truly painful sacrifice. Tilly realised in the silence that the difference between being a child and an adult was not age…it was having the strength to do what was right. This situation did not require anything but patience. Jen was not saying their relationship was wrong…she just knew they had found each other too soon. Their relationship was worth more than a secret fling that could potentially destroy their futures. Jen needed to pass her placement scandal free and Tilly needed to complete her exams and not tarnish her reputation along with her dream of Cambridge. It was in this moment she understood the pain she had felt that day after they had parted ways…She was in love with Jen.

Tilly rises from the bench and stands facing Jen, who is looking at the floor. Tilly speaks finally breaking the silence between the hurting couple.

"Don't talk, you don't need to. I heard you perfectly the last time we spoke."

Jen stares at the floor and doesn't look up. Tilly gently lifts Jens chin, so that they are looking deep into each other's eyes.

"But I didn't truly listen." Tilly continues. Jen sighs and swallows hard resisting the urge to speak. Tilly had wasted two week in silence and she wanted to be honest and direct; what did she have to lose. She spoke again.

"I am in love with you. If this love is real, it will stay alive inside me until it is lawfully and socially acceptable to share it. I am prepared to wait for you Jen Gilmore. I love you enough to not want you to sacrifice anything for me. I understand the sacrifices you have made and I respect your courage. I do not doubt your feelings for me and hope they mirror my own. I can hide these feelings from the world but not from you…that is why we cannot be friends. If our love doesn't last this transition…then we know it isn't real."

Tilly leans forward and places a kiss on Jen's cheek; Jen closes her eyes to fight back tears. When she opens them again, she sees Tilly disappearing around the corner. She had been unable to respond; not that Tilly would have let her.

Their minds may have had the last word but their hearts were blind to rules and socialisation. Jen was smart enough to agree with the law, it was in place to protect young people; many had and would continue to abuse their position of power. It was a terrible thought, however, it was a fact; not all youth professionals entered the career with the ambition to improve a young person's life. The Huntley case had been a bitter reminder of this and had sparked the CRB movement; Conformity at its root is not a negative thing.

Jen was also smart enough to realise their love was an exception. Tilly had been right today; and both of them were prepared to wait. Yet Tilly had been right about something else too, when she had quoted Foucault weeks before"we only conform when others can see us."

Until the time came, when they could truly be together, Jen needed patience…and a plan. She needed a few days alone in a place where no one knew who they were; so Jen could spend some time alone with this beautiful intelligent young woman; a woman she had no doubt she was now head over heels in love with.


	2. Communication

Tilly crawled seductively across the bed and straddle Jens hips; she smiled down at her beautiful lover and began to undo the buttons on Jen's blouse.

"Wait" Jen announced whilst reaching out for Tilly's hands, to stop the teenager from undressing her. "I don't want to take advantage of you." Continued Jen.

Tilly leans forward and gently bites Jens bottom lip before whispering in her ear "I wish you would!"

Jen woke suddenly, alone. Tilly may have remained in the dream but her arousal had not; the desire now rising through the brunettes aching body. She throws her head back in frustration and stares at the ceiling; her poster of Gustav Klimt 'The Kiss' stares back at her. God how she wished she could be in that embrace with Tilly right at this moment.

Since bumping into the woman she loved yesterday, Tilly was all Jen could think about. Also, since Tilly had finally agreed that they should wait…Jen no longer wanted too. She was desperate to see her perfect auburn beauty and to touch her flawless skin. She had to text her.

**I love you too, I need to see you. J xx**

Tilly woke up two hours later than Jen that Saturday morning, she'd had a restless night and sleep had evaded her for the majority of it. Everything about yesterday's encounter had shocked her, her actions completely out of character; and her decision to stay away was the opposite of what she wanted. The more she decided to forget what happened, the more she thought about it and desire was building up inside her. She needed a shopping distraction; she reached for her phone to text Maddie.

She started at the screen, one unread message from Jen, she hesitated to open it but curiosity took over. 'Oh my god' Tilly whispered out loud to herself. 'I love you too' she reread the message over and over, as if she was afraid she had made a mistake. Then she panicked.

**I'm not strong enough to resist you again. T xx**

*Beep* the reply came so quickly Tilly was still holding her phone.

**I don't want you too, I need you. J xx**

Tilly's parents were visiting friends for the day and would be back later that evening, it gave her a window of opportunity to invite Jen around to her house; so they could talk in private without the fear of being caught. She replied to Jen explaining, telling her to come round in an hour; that would guarantee her parents had gone and give her chance to get ready…not to mention process what was happening.

The knock came and Tilly slowly walked to the door and paused scared to open it. The knock came again and this time she reaches forward and opened the latch. Jen stands in the door way looking radiant and with her huge goofy smile, the one that melts Tilly's heart.

"So, are you going to let me in or what?" Jen ask joking to Tilly who was standing speechless in the door way. Tilly lets her in apologizing and moving out of the way giggling. Tilly closes the door and stares at Brunette in front of her; Jen stares back. Both the women swallow hard and remain in silence neither moving. All of the pent up desire is now taking over, finally alone together; away from praying eye.

"Tilly, Can I kiss you?" Jen breaks the silence first, giving in to her own desires but wanting to respect Tilly at the same time. The teenager cannot find the words but she nods; Jen needs no more confirmation and she moves forward pushing Tilly up against the closed door. They stare at each other for a couple of second's nervous and breathing heavy. Their lips finally meet and Tilly unconsciously lets out a moan, this parts her lips and allows access for Jens tongue to explore her mouth; Tilly pushes back against Jens body and their kiss deepens.

The desire to communicate verbally had lost all purpose for the pair and the intensity of their situation heated beyond what either of them had anticipated. The weeks apart had fuelled their frustration and they were unable to stop the flow of lust that was coursing through their bodies; their hands begin to explore each other...


	3. Permission

**Been really enjoying your Jelly fiction…so as a thank you, I wanted to write one too. I hope you enjoy. Feel free write comments and suggestions. Hope you enjoy...Cleo xx**

Tilly's hands, finding a gap between the buttons on Jens dress, lightly caress the skin and instinctively rise up in the search for her partner's breasts. Both women suddenly break from kissing...Tilly noticing Jen is not wearing a bra and Jen at the sudden skin contact brushing her nipple. Jen pulls away suddenly overcome with caution.

"Have I done something wrong?" Tilly questions; suddenly paranoid at her lack of experience.

"No of course you haven't done anything wrong babe, quite the opposite" Jen replies with a big smile that shows off her dimples. "I just don't want to rush you." She adds. Taking Tilly's hand and guiding her to the Sofa.

"Wait. I understand but I need to hold you. Come to my room and just lie with me. We can have the closeness and use the time to talk this through" Tilly replies.

Jen agrees and the two women walk up the stairs and sit side by side on Tilly's bed leaning on the head board; their hands find each others. Both sit in silence for a long while; deep in thought and enjoying the intimacy.

Even though both women had wanted the same thing at the door, Tilly was actually glad that Jen had pulled away and given her this break. She still wanted the same thing but now she had been given the time to fully evaluate the situation. She knew from her friend's experiences that hormones often got in the way of logic and later could lead to regret. This time spent in silent contemplation had confirmed to her that she was more than ready to express her love for Jen physically.

After another ten minutes, Jen is the first one to speak.

"So much for us waiting until my placement is over" Jen says still caressing her girlfriends hand and smiling at her passionately.

"Whoops" Tilly replies with a smirk "I guess the heart is more powerful than the mind after all"

"So, Are you suggesting Miss Evans that you are in love with me?" Jen playfully mocks whilst fluttering her eyelashes at her giggling lover.

"Nah! But there is this really fit teacher at college, her name is Miss Gilmore. Think she has a crush on me and…" Tilly breaks off laughing before she can finish the sentence. Laughing too, Jen straddles the teenager and pins her wrist on the bed either side of her head.

"Is that so? Well if I have to fight this Miss Gilmore to keep you; I will. I'm nails me!" Jen replies in role play adding a growl.

"Well, I didn't take you for a butch!" mocks Tilly.

"You cheeky minx!" Jen announces breaking character and resulting to tickling the now wriggling and laughing Tilly.

"STOP! Stop! Please Jen" Tilly pleads between fits of giggles. Mustering all her might she lifts up her body and rolls the tickling brunette over and climbs on top. "Ha! I'm in charge now" She announces triumphant.

"So, Master. What's my punishment?" Jen replies sticking her tongue out at her smirking capture. Tilly leans forward and sucks Jen's sticking out tongue from the base to the tip, before returning to her upright position.

The women stare at each other, both aware that the atmosphere in the room is changing again. The playful teasing is being replaced, the love in their eyes is turning to lust and their breathing begins to deepen. Tilly wanted the beautiful woman in front of her, she wanted to caress her body, to touch her and taste her.

Jen could sense the young woman's longing and it mirrored her own; yet once again she is overcome with fear; worried this beautiful auburn girl was not ready to take these mature steps. It is not only a new territory for their relationship but it is also a new experience for the teenager; having not been intimate with a woman before. Tilly bends forward and kisses her lover on the lips but when Jen doesn't kiss her back she leans back and frowns.

"What's wrong?" she asks puzzled.

"I don't want to influence your actions in any way" Jen acknowledges to the teenager. She places her hands over her eyes in frustration, genuinely not knowing what to do.

Sensing Jens discomfort with the situation Tilly realises she will have to take the lead. She is nervous but not about being with Jen; she knows the teacher has not forced her along a path she has not desperately wanted to walk down; in fact for a long time now she has wanted to run down it. Not just with anyone either, she wanted to take these steps with the person she trusted and more importantly loved; what more could a person ask for on a first time.

"There is only one way we can make sure that you don't influence me in any way. You are not allowed to touch me, until I give you permission." She lifts Jens hands from her eyes and raising her arms, places them on the bed above her head. Jen Is unsure of the situation still but is deeply turned on by the teenager's dominance; she nods in agreement not removing her arms from their position.

Tilly leans forward to kiss Jens lips but stops hovering just above them to tease her lover. Jen slowly blinks her eyes and breaths out heavily; now knowing that already the temptation to touch Tilly is unbearable and equally arousing. The teenager licks lightly and slowly along the small gap between Jens slightly parted lips and returns to an upright position.

She looks longingly into the beautiful hazel eyes of the woman lying beneath her and begins to undo the buttons of Jens dress; which trail all the way to the base of the skirt. With the last button undone the dress falls open on either side of Jens toned body; leaving her naked but for her black French laced knickers.

Tilly takes some time to look at Jens beautiful body, wanting to store to memory every inch of her. She then removes her own top and bra, leaving just a small red skirt and matching panties. Jen longing for the red head, reaches out to touch her naked torso.

"Tut, tut" interrupts Tilly, pushes Jens arms back into their overhead position. "I didn't give you permission, Miss Gilmore."

The teenager lightly caresses her fingertips down Jens arms, across her exposed breasts and then across her abs, finally circling Jens belly button with her forefinger; sending a shudder of goose bumps across the older woman's body.

She returns to the brunette's arms to begin the same journey but this time with light kisses. As she leans in for the first light kiss, her hardened nipples rub against Jen…forcing the teacher to whisper "oh Tilly" in a breathless moan. She tries to move her arms again, but before she can, Tilly pins her wrists to the bed and lowers her weight on to Jen.

Without moving her hands from her girlfriend's wrists, Tilly begins to passionately kiss Jens mouth, and this time she gets a response. Without breaking from the kiss or removing her hands, Tilly uses her right thigh to parts Jens legs, until her knee is touching the duvet in-between.

She begins to move her entire body up and down Jens; using her bare thigh to apply pressure to her lovers groin. She speeds up slightly and Jen begins to moan, the teenager can already feel the teachers wetness through the lace onto her thigh.

Overcome with lust, Jen bends her legs and pushing back against the teenagers movements, her own thigh now position between the teenagers legs and simultaneously causing Tilly to experience the same sensation; now every movement Tilly makes she is pleasuring them both. In response to this deepening mutual arousal, Tilly crosses Jens wrists together, so she can hold them down with one arm; freeing her right hand.

As the women continue to grind against each other, the student caresses down the teachers body with the back of her free hand. She stops briefly to pinch one the nipples hard, causing Jen to groan out loud, before she continues to her lover's pant line. She slides her hand inside the lace and circles with pressure; Jen closes her eyes and pushes her head back moaning. Before she has time to contain herself, Tilly pushes two fingers deep inside her. It was so unexpected, Jen body surges into spasm.

"oh god, oh" She breathlessly climaxes around Tilly's fingers in pure pleasure and total shock. The red head smiles as she watches her beautiful girlfriend shaking beneath her. She rolls to the side onto the bed and releases Jens arms. Jen lowers her arm and smiles a huge big smile that exposes her top teeth. Tilly beams back, as her lover recovers her breath.

"…and there I was worried that I would be the one taking advantage of you." Jen says as her smile twists into a smirk. "Am I allowed to touch you now Miss Evan?" she adds

"I've just been waiting for you to ask permission." Replies Tilly, with a wink.


	4. One track mind

Jen smiles at her confident red head "Permission? Oh really? well, come here gorgeous"

"I won't come on demand" Tilly playfully replies.

Jen stifles a laugh and raises one eyebrow.

Tilly suddenly blushes bright red realizing the pun in the sentence; it had been an innocent mistake.

"oh really!" Jen returns through giggles, humored even further at noticing the teenagers embarrassment. "Ill, have to rely on my skills then." she adds mockingly.

Tilly playfully hits Jen on the arm, who leans forward and lovingly strokes the teenagers face with the back of her fingers "You're even beautiful when your embarrassed" Jen adds to her cheek caress and leans in to kiss Tilly. "I love you." she continues with a contented smile; both women stare lovingly into each others eyes.

The spell is suddenly broken by Tilly's phone ringing on her desk. "I better get that" Tilly announces whilst grudgingly moving from the bed to answer her mobile. "Its my mum." she mouths to Jen and answers the phone with a hello.

Jen watches the teenager slowly pacing the room in mid flow of a conversation. She was not listening to her talk, she was in deep blissful thoughts whilst she studied her lovers slender body. She admired her perk breast, they were much fully than her own. She lowered her eyes down the perfectly flat stomach and then immediately wishes she could remove Tilly's red skirt and underwear.

She was slightly shocked at her thought pattern; she was never usually this aroused and one tracked minded. Tilly had such a seductive hold over her, one she had never experienced from any past relationships; she was going through as many firsts as her younger partner.

She was still scared about the implications of their love affair, after all that is what it was; forbidden through circumstance. She was not being irresponsible, she had done all the right things and stayed away for weeks; breaking both their hearts in the process.

She wished she was in a placement anywhere other than Hollyoaks, however, if she had been she would of never of met Tilly; the beautiful young woman stood half naked before her. Their love seemed to be the cause and solution to all her problems. If she had never met Tilly she would not now be risking her career or even freedom in this way. Yet, if she had not met Tilly, she would not be experiencing real love for the first time in her life; after all that is what it was.

"We have to go Babe" Tilly says startling Jen out of her day dream.

"ohhh" Jen moans pulling by a sad face.

"I'm sorry beautiful but my rents are on their way back. Wanted to beat the traffic blah blah" she bends over the bed and kisses Jen's frown "Is that better?" she asks.

"A little." Jen replies playfully in a cute voice. "maybe you should kiss me again to make sure." she adds with a cheeky grin that stretches from ear to ear.

Tilly giggles and obliges but this time as she bends forward to kiss her girlfriend, Jen grabs her and pulls her onto the bed. Both women erupt into a fit of laughter.

"I don't want to leave you." Jen whispers into Tilly's ear.

Tilly sits up from the bed, she didn't want this moment to end either and she wanted to spend every minute she could with this enchanting woman.

"We could go out? we could get in your jeep and drive away for the day. I could make up some boring excuse to the folks and we could watch the sunset before returning home." Tilly asked the brunette urging her with her eyes to agree. "At least we will be together. I know its not quite the same because we will be in public. Think you can keep your hands away from me for a few hours Miss Gilmore?." She continues.

Jen smiles "OK, lets do it." and she get up from the bed and begins to button her dress back up. "and for the record...my hands have been no where near you yet!" she says smiling at Tilly.

"yet!" she says with a wink at Tilly, before exiting the bedroom.


	5. Woodland

**Still loving all of your Fan fiction. Thank you for my reviews/favorite/follows I really appreciate it. please continue to comment and let me know if i should continue etc. I hope you have enjoyed the story so far, Cleo :)**

The women had been on the road for half an hour, comfortable in each others company they had enjoyed the journey listening to music; stealing glances at each other and passing smiles between them.

"Are we nearly there yet." mocks Tilly not being able to contain her excitement any longer.

"um I don't know." replies Jen given her girlfriend a playful worried look with a cheesy grin.

"Are we lost Miss Gilmore?" ask Tilly, looking around in an attempt to recognize the countryside outside.

"Well...The thing is, I'm not actually sure where we are going." Jen admits with a grin "I just sort of started driving and didn't stop." Jen twists her mouth trying to suppress her laugh.

"Hmmm. I see." Replies Tilly giggling. "Well I am really hungry, so the next town we pass through lets eat." she states.

"You're so bossy Miss Evans." teases Jen.

"Somebody had to make an informed decision Miss Gilmore." replies Tilly sarcastically.

They drive for a further fifteen minutes before finding a nice café. Jen parks up the Jeep and the pair walk hand in hand along the street, confident that they will be strangers in this new place.

"Where are we?" ask Tilly glancing around at the scattered shops.

"Who cares!" Jen announces and shouts out loud "I love Tilly Evans". A couple of passers-by stare then go about their own business, not interested in the strangers. "we are free for the day." she continues giving the teenagers hand a squeeze and they walk towards the café.

They order food and talk art and pop culture over their coffees as they wait. After ten minutes their food arrives and the waitress offers them more drinks.

"Is there any where around here, for scenic walks?" Jan asks the elderly waitress as she pours more coffee in her cup.

"Yes love. bout a ten minute drive from here there is a country park with some beautiful woodlands. I've got some brochures on the counter." she replies before walking away and returning with them; handing them to Jen. She thanks the waitress, who smiles and walks away to serve another customer.

"You said you wanted to watch the sunset with me, which I think is a beautiful idea. I thought we could go for a long walk, do some sketching and have a late picnic. " she hands Tilly the booklet "This would be a perfect place for this, don't you think?" she adds with a smile.

"That sounds lovely Jen and these woodlands look magical." Tilly replies genuinely excited about the rest of the day.

"Hows that for an informed decision." Jen replies with a smirks, before leaning across the table to give Tilly a kiss.

The couple had visited the shops for picnic supplies before they set off to the country park. Having located a good place to park, they found art supplies and a picnic blanket in the boot of Jen's Jeep. Then set out on their walk, exchanging banter and giggles, half an hour later they were approaching the edge of the beautiful woodlands.

"It really is enchanting." Jen remarks, staring up at the grand trees that stand before her. "Natures sculptures" she continued in awe of the sight before her.

She turns to Tilly and playfully taps her on the shoulder "Tag!" she shouts whilst running and disappearing into the wood; Tilly follows.

Ten minutes pass...

The teenager walking steadily through the darkly shaded wood alone, begins to worry; having still not located the playful brunette. She is becoming aware of how isolated they are from other people, this had been an exciting thing at first but now she is actually getting scared.

A strong hand grabs Tilly from behind and she screams through the isolation. The Stranger quickly places a hand over Tilly's mouth and pulls the teenager backwards into their own body as they stand behind her.

"Shhh, beautiful its me." whispers Jen into her lovers ear and she removes her hand from Tilly's mouth. Remaining behind the red-head, the teacher wraps her arms around to Tilly's stomach, pulling her closer into her body

"God Jen, you gave me a heart attack!" Tilly replies and tries to turn around in the embrace, to face her girlfriend. Jen holds her tighter and refuses to let her turn, instead she walks them backwards and rests her own back up against the nearest tree; laughing the teenager tries to turn again.

"Your not going anywhere." jokes Jen as she tightens her grip "It's my turn now" she adds and blows lightly down Tilly's exposed neck. The hairs on the young woman's arms stand up immediately and Tilly flushes pink at the sensation. Jen lifts Tilly's left arm and places it behind her own head, The Teenager understands, she leans back into the brunette and turns her head back and to the side to allow their lips to meet.

"Mmmm Hello you." Jen says between kisses.

"Hello yourself" Tilly replies. With her left hand still positioned behind Jen's head, she weaves her finger through the silky brunette hair and lightly pulls Jen's face into her own; deepening the kiss.

Without breaking from the kiss Jen begins to undo Tilly's blouse from top to bottom. Already aroused Tilly reaches behind with her free hand and rests it on Jen's thigh to steady herself. Excepting Tilly's movement as an invitation to continue, the teacher returns both her hands to her lovers stomach; this time skin on skin.

She lightly moves her hands in unison up the teenagers exposed body; she feels Tilly's stomach muscles contracting under her touch. Her hands reach the red heads bra, she cups the material, lifts both simultaneously and begins to massages Tilly's breast one in each hand. The younger women momentarily break from the kiss letting out a muffled groan.

Tilly is struggling to keep her lips locked to her girlfriends; she is struggling to regulate her breathing. Although this was their second encounter, this was the first time she had ever been so intimately touched. The sensation was overwhelming her, she had no choice but to give in to the experience. Jen was nowhere near her shorts but she could already feel herself getting wet; she leans back into her lover resting the back of her head on Jen's shoulder. She tightens her grip on the teacher's thigh and holds on to Jens hair with the other.

Jen kisses her trembling lovers neck "God your beautiful" she whispers into her ear. She likes the effect she was having on Tilly; she remember the first time she had been over taken by this sensation; she was honored to be apart of this experience.

The urge to feel Tilly was becoming too much, she knew the touch would most probably send the younger woman over the edge, but she was becoming driven by her own desires.

She wraps her left arm around Tilly's waist and pulls her tight towards her body, wanting to hold her as securely as possible. She reaches down with her right hand and quickly unfastened the button on Tilly's shorts; then lowers the zip.

The brunette slowly slides a finger down into her lover, she is pleased to feel how much the teenager is already aroused; she moves in and out gently and uses her thumb to rub her in a circular motion. The red-head moans at the joint touch of her experienced girlfriend; she starts to move her hips to meet Jen's hand.

Jen increases the speed and pressure but it is already too much for Tilly, she moans loudly, as her body involuntarily contracts; swelling into an orgasm. Her Legs buckle beneath her but Jen, still supported by the tree, catches Tilly easily in her arm and holds the teenager's body up, against her own.

"I've got you babe." Jen adds to the catch and kisses Tilly's shoulder. Both women stand in silence catching their breath.


	6. Sunset

**Still loving all of your Fan fiction. Thank you for my reviews/favorites/follows I really appreciate it. please continue to comment and let me know if i should continue etc. I hope you have enjoyed the story so far, Cleo :)**

Jen had spotted a clearing in the woodland before she had found and seduced Tilly, she had led the teenager there and they both were relaxing on the picnic blanket; enjoying the rays of sun that were peeking through the tree tops.

Jen was sitting up against a fallen trunk sketching the beautiful scenic views before her; Tilly dozed in the rays resting her head on the teachers out stretched legs. Jen would occasionally break from her art, to look lovingly at her sleeping beauty or stroke a stray wind blown stand of hair behind Tilly's ear. 'Could this day be more perfect?!' Jen thought to herself with a contented sigh.

She stared at the tranquil elegance of the woodland surrounding her, she was a fan of progressive art forms , however, the magic of an organic piece was a guilty pleasure. The rebel in her would debate in conversations about a Freudian Dali and the surrealist movement; yet in the comfort of her own home she could get lost in the flawless technique of Shishkin's landscapes. Although Today, with her lover by her side in an isolated forest, her mind had been lost in fairy tale; visions of Hughes's 'Midsummer Eve' dancing through her mind.

Tilly stirs and rolls over so she can stare up at her beautiful girlfriend, who is lost in deep thought as she sketches in her pad. The teenager loved to watch Jen draw, her talent was amazing but it was the passion in the teachers eyes that Tilly loved to see.

Her own passion a little while ago not far from her mind; the red-head had never before experienced anything similar. Sure, she had been aroused before but the build up and eventual explosion of pleasure she had experienced today, was beyond anything she could of imagined; which she often had done since that day on Crosby beach.

"Hey there sleepy face." Jen says looking down at Tilly.

"Morning" Tilly responded with a big smile. "What are you drawing?" she asked pulling down the pad from Jen.

"Just nature at its most beautiful. Just like you." the brunette replies, using her finger to lightly draw on the face of the auburn women in her lap. She traces around her eyes, down her nose and across her lips; Tilly kisses the passing finger.

"I don't want to go back." announces Tilly, suddenly becoming serious.

"Me neither." replies Jen " but you have exams and I have a placement to complete." she continues.

The thud of reality hits Tilly with a smack in the face. Lost in the blissfulness of the day, she has allowed herself to forget that their relationship is secret and worse forbidden. She can not hide the sadness from her face and Jen lifts her up to confront her.

"Babe, please don't be sad." Jen tries to comfort the sulking teenager in front of her, "You have me, all of me, and in a short time I wont be your teacher anymore." she says holding Tilly's hands in her own.

"I know...its just shit. I love you but I hate all the sneaking around and having to lie to my friends. especially Maddie." the red-head replies not able to shake her mood. "and Ill never get to see you."

"It's hard for me too. We just have to be patient and I promise ill see you as often as I can; no more hot and cold." Jen replies but Tilly's face still remains sad; her eyes looking down and her mouth closed tight.

Jen wanting to lighten the mood begins to sing "You're hot then your cold...you're yes then your no.." Tilly can't help but smile and looks up and her silly girlfriend.

"Is that a smile?" Jen says poking Tilly's cheek.

"No!" Giggles Tilly in stubborn deviants.

."Oh really!" Jen says with a smirk, "ill just have to keep singing then...You're in then you out...you're up then your down." Jen is stopped my Tilly placing her hand on her mouth.

"Ok, ok" laughs the teenager. "You win!" and she smiles really cheesy at Jen, still holding her hand over the teachers mouth "Don't quit your day job tho Miss Gilmore...We definitely need to get you back so You can complete your placement" Tilly says playfully.

Jen Licks the palm of Tilly's hand and she removes it with a "eeeewww" and wipes it on Jens cardigan sleeve.

"Right that's it." Announces Jen with a mock indignation on her face and wrestles Tilly to the blanket. "Say you give in and my singing is amazing!" she jokes holding the the red-head down.

"Never!" shouts Tilly giggling.

"or ill never kiss you again" replies the teacher with a pretend scowl.

"ok, ok, I give in! Katy Perry has nothing on you." The teenager announces.

"Damn right" Jen replies and leans in to kiss her helpless lover. "Lets set up this picnic, beautiful." she continues releasing Tilly from her grip.

They pair pass out the rest of the day with playful conversation, both avoiding the subject of their doomed reality. They both knew that tomorrow they would have to hit back to earth with a crash, until then they wanted to enjoy each others company as much as possible.

The sun was starting to fade and they walked to find higher ground, so they could watch the sun set over the landscape. They sat side by side and hand in hand, Tilly resting her head on Jen's shoulder; the view glowed a glorious orange as the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

"Thank you, for today." Tilly says with a smile.

"Thank you, for being you." Jen replies. "Are you ready to go back to Hollyoaks?" she asks.

"No" responds Tilly honestly. "But I suppose we have to get back to our lives at some point." she adds.

" Just two more weeks and it will be summer and I wont be your teacher anymore. Until then we just have to be careful." Jen replies.

"I love you...whatever happens, remember that." She adds trying to reassure Tilly and kisses her cheek.


	7. Abersoch

**Well, if you are anything like me...the recent episodes this week have given you Jen and Tilly fever...need some ice cream with my Jelly; to cool me down. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Cleo xx (speech in italics belong to the show and not to me)**

The next two weeks passed slowly for the secret pair, between busy schedules and prying eyes, they struggled to find time together. Their relationship had resulted to brushes of hands in public and secret stolen kisses in darkened alleys. Both women longed for the other, for an intimate touch but mostly to just to be in each others company. The more distance that came between them the more they struggled.

Finally the college exams came to an end and Jen's placement completion signaled the start of summer. Tilly waited with bated breath for a shift in circumstances, especially as Jen had become even more distant since Diane had unfortunately caught them kiss. Tilly had a dull painful ache in her stomach, no matter how hard she had tried to distract herself with her exams and friends, she had longed for Jen; she needed the woman she loved.

The teacher had played it down, to her suspicious colleague, as a school girl 'crush' and promised to avoid the teenager in exchange for Diane's professional discretion. Jen was yearning for her girlfriend too, however, she knew that she had been lucky; Diane was well within her rights to report her.

When Maddie had announced an impromptu return trip to Abersoch, Tilly was keen to go; she hoped it would give her a healthy and fun distraction. After all Jen had just told her no relationship could be 24/7. A point the teenager happily threw back in the face of her pouting lover, as she announced to Jen she was leaving for the trip. She did not want to leave the gorgeous brunette behind but the lack of contact, verbal and physical, was becoming painfully overwhelming for the teen; she needed to get away from Hollyoaks and all its reality again.

Jen was devastated by the news, she had also been struggling with the lack of company and was hoping the summer would create better opportunities for them to spend some quality time together. She had sulked in her room for a day missing her now absent lover until she concluded that she could wait no longer. She knew she was crossing a huge relationship boundary, her actions would put Tilly in an awkward position, forcing her to choose between her friends or their relationship; She knew she was in the wrong but she couldn't fight the temptation. She packed a small holdall and jumped in her jeep; she was far to overcome with excitement to care anymore about the consequences.

Tilly is returning from the shop with a bottle of milk when Jen finally spots the red-head in the Welsh village. She curb crawls and admires the teenagers long slender body as she walks down the road; her beauty magnified by the back drop of the serene beach and sea. Tilly is wearing the tiny blue jean shorts that Jen had seductively unzipped in their woodlands visit weeks before; the thought made her sigh heavily remembering her lover collapsing into her arms post orgasm.

_"You wanna lift?"_ Jen asked making her presence known and stifling an excitable laugh behind a huge grin.; Tilly smiles and bites her lip unable to hide the thrill of seeing Jen there. She was, however, quickly taken over by annoyance at the presumptuousness of the teachers intrusion.

Jen notes the teenagers body language as she stands with one hand on her hip to purposefully show her deviance. Trying to lighten the mood the teacher exchanges banter about the weather and her detour to the shops. Both women try to gauge the others response to the situation; acting with nonchalance to hide their internal emotional battle. Jen worried she had over stepped the line with this spontaneous arrival; Tilly struggling with mixed feelings of annoyance and excitement.

_"you driving down here and playing it all cool. its suppose to impress me is it?" _Tilly continues finally lifting her sun glasses and the unconscious barrier between them. The movement sweeps her fringe off her face to reveal her aqua eyes and her sprinkling of freckles. Jen feels her chest heave as her heart rate increases at the sight. The teen leans on the open window of the passenger's seat and Jen smiles at her girlfriends confident candor.

_"That depends..are you impressed?" _Jen asks with pleading eyes.

_"A bit" _replies tilly stubbornly.

_"then yes!" _retorts Jen with wide eyes and a demented grin. Breaking down the students emotional wall and forcing her to smile.

Tilly finally gives in to the charming brunette and leaves to give her excuses to her friends and pack her bags. Maddie appears extremely pissed off, as Tilly explains about a family emergency. Had the red-head been aware of her best friends personal crisis at her divorcing parents, she would have stayed with out a doubt; Tilly wrongly assumes Maddie's is annoyed at her sudden departure and is relieved when Esther interrupts them. Guilty at the distress she thinks she has caused Maddie, she makes one last attempt to console her friend and tells her to call if she needs anything.

Although the teenager did not want to make a habit of ditching her friends for her secret love affair, she was glad to leave. This trip had fallen far short of their wild adventure the year before. Bart had been permanently stoned, Neil had spent all their money and Sinead was in an awful and loud mood. Even her closest friends seems distant; Maddie was pensive and George was preoccupied with his potential new boyfriend, Ryan. If she was honest, maybe she too was a little distracted by external events. Age and time had changed all of them, Tilly only hoped it was for the better.

Any further doubts she had about choosing to leave, get washed away by the waves crashing across her naked body. She had followed Jen into the sea, who had whipped off her bikini top and ran across the beach to skinny dip. Tilly splashed about in awe of her free-spirited girlfriend; both women liberated, not only from their clothes, but also from their social constraints.

An hour later the girls were holding hands across the table of a local pub; they had driven to the neighboring village to avoid being caught by any of the remaining sixth-formers.

"Are you ok?" Jen asked noticing Tilly lost in thought.

"Yes sorry. It's just everything is so perfect and I'm scared of losing you Jen." Tilly answered honestly. "The last two weeks have been so hard, I've missed this, I've missed us."

"I've missed us too" Jen replies with the cutest smile the teen has ever seen. Jen shuffles slightly and looks at Tilly with a slightly worried look "Can I ask you something?"

"of course." replies Tilly concerned.

"Can I book a room and spend the night with you?" Jen asks out of respect for Tilly's age and experience.

"gawd! One track mind you." Tilly playfully answers with a grin; forcing Jen to giggle. "Yeah. I'd like that." she adds.

The two woman lie face to face in a small but charming bed and breakfast room; they stare at each other and play fondly with each others hands.

"I'm nervous" admits Jen, shocking Tilly at the confession.

"Why? we have been here before." Tilly reassures "and you were amazing." she continues with a wink.

"Not that I didn't thoroughly enjoy our previous adventures, this is different." Jen replies with a playful cuteness.

"Why?" Replies Tilly slightly embarrassed at her naivety.

"because here I plan to make love to you all night long." Jen states with a smile that show off her dimples.

Tilly swallows hard and bites her bottom lip, finally understanding why Jen is so nervous.


	8. Questions

The room had heated quickly but the women had kept the pace slow; they had spent nearly an hour alternating between light caressing touches and deep passionate all-consuming kisses.

"Id like to get to know you better" Jen announces breaking from a kiss for air. "lets play a game" she continues with playful enthusiasm.

"ok..." Tilly replies raising an eyebrow, slightly suspicious of the brunette's motives.

"Lets take it in turns to ask a question about ourselves. If the other person guesses wrong, you get to decide which item of clothing they have to remove as punishment." Jen adds.

"I like the sound of this game." Tilly responds laughing.

"I like the sound of the punishment." Jen replies smirking. "You go first!"

Jen sits up and leans against the head rest of the bed, her legs stretched out before her. Tilly lies sideways across the bottom of the bed, supported by her right elbow.

"Mmmm...Whats my favorite colour?" Tilly quizzes with a smile; having no intention of telling Jen she is right whatever the teacher replies.

"Red" Jen answers with a pout.

"Wrong!" Tilly announces with a smile "I demand you remove your top!" she adds holding out her hand for the garment. "come on...hand it over!"

Jen smirks as she lifts her sleeveless top above her head, she throws it at Tilly's face making the teenager laugh.

"My turn! I have a brother, what is his name?" Jen asks the red-head, knowing Tilly will not know the answer.

Tilly rolls her eyes at Jen "John" she answers with a wild stab in the dark.

"Jen and John?" Jen scoffs I think my parents are more creative than that "After all their daughter is an art teacher! Hand me your bikini top Miss Evans." She adds with a smile.

The teenager pulls on the bow behind her neck and the straps fall down over her top. Jen shuffles across the bed to Tilly and pushes her hand up the back of the teens top; with one swift movement she pulls the bikini out from under it and returns back to her seating position against the head-board.

"Ta da!" Jen shouts holding the Bikini above her head before flinging it across the room.

"What's my favorite lesson at college?" Tilly continues the game.

"That's easy...Mine!" Replies Jen with a wink.

"Nope I'm afraid not Miss Gilmore because you do not actually teach there anymore.!" Tilly replies in mock seriousness " Remove a piece of clothing of your choice." Tilly orders.

Jen pulls her blue polka dot bikini top off revealing her exposed breasts, the movement is greeted by Tilly's grin.

"Great choice!" The younger woman announces.

"OK, What am I thinking about now?" Jen asks no longer even attempting to hide the fact she plans on getting the teen naked sooner rather than later.

"um...how amazing I am?" Tilly response inquisitively.

"No, I was thinking about your tiny shorts and about how they are about to be removed due to a wrong answer." Jen replies grinning at her lover.

"Hmmm" Tilly responds. "I think your cheating Miss Gilmore." she stands on the bed, steps either side of Jens out stretch legs and moves forward, her shorts only 30cm from the teachers face; Jen runs her hands up Tilly's calves.

"I'm not cheating! the way I see it, it's a win win situation." Jen replies playfully "The sooner you remove your shorts, the sooner I can ask you another ridiculous question you can't possible get right..so I can order you to remove your underwear!" She continues with a huge smile.

"That wont be necessary" Tilly replies through a smirk. peeling down the top of her shorts to reveal no pant line "I lost them skinny dipping" her adds giggling.

"Gosh, you are naughty Miss Evans" Jen replies genuinely shocked and excited by her lovers bravado.

"Are you going to send me to the principles office again Miss Gilmore?" Tilly asks staring down at her teacher.

Jen looks up at Tilly and locks eye contact mesmerized and clearly seduced by the teenager. The red-head smiles and continues to slide her shorts down her legs, their journey halted my Jens hands still on the teens calves. The material falling on her hands makes the brunette finally break eye contact and she lowers her gaze to the shorts and helps them complete their journey down Tilly's legs. The teen raises one leg in turn to allow Jen to hook them off her feet, before she throws them across the room

"What's my middle name?" Tilly asks with no intention of moving from her semi naked position standing over the transfixed teacher. There is no response to her question, it is too late;Tilly has underestimated her seductive actions and she feels Jen's hands slide up to her bum and slowly pull her forward.

'Oh my God' thinks Jen to herself, losing all control of her thought pattern as weeks of frustration boil to breaking point. She is so aroused by the teens behavior and is equally aroused by the seductive hold her oblivious younger lover has over her.

She trails kisses up the inside of Tilly's thigh to a response of "oh Jen." from her girlfriend standing above her. The brunette places a hard kiss on the small line of hair neatly groomed in front of her.

Tilly stares ahead longing for the touch but feeling venerable and innocent; wondering if she is ready for this experience. Her hand shoots to the wall for support as she suddenly feels Jen's tongue begin to explore her. 'Oh God' she thinks, as she tries desperately to control herself, feeling a burning arousal surging through her thighs and groin.

The speed of her orgasm shocks her but Jen does not stop, instead the brunette increases the pressure. Tilly's free hand instinctively reaches out and holds the back of Jen's head. A wave of contractions sweep through her body for a second time and Jen removes one hand from her bum. She has only seconds to recover, before she feels two fingers penetrate her and move in rhythm to Jen's caressing tongue.

Tilly feels herself overcome with pleasure and momentarily blacks out falling to her knees straddling Jen's legs. The teacher embraces her shaking lover in her arms and pulls her into her lap. Jen places her hand under Tilly's chin and lifts her face, leaning forward she kisses her lover softly on the lips and smiles sweetly. "You are amazing." she adds.

The women make love throughout the night, both merging into each other and erupting into multiple and mutual orgasms. Eventually their exhausted bodies intertwine and the women fall into peaceful sleep.

Jen wakes hours before her lover and she stares at the bedroom scene with a renewed concern; now able to focus she begins to panic at the implications of her actions. The night had taken the relationship to a new level of seriousness and she is terrified of the outcome.

She knows they had both confessed their love weeks before, however, it had been more a statement of sentiment to each other; almost a promise to acknowledge that their feelings were real. yet in this moment Jen realized she is actually in trouble. It was not that she had not taken the relationship seriously up till now but she had been so caught up in the drama of their star-crossed passion, that she had failed to notice how much her feelings were becoming invested in the teen. The reality of the situation was dawning on her and she scrambles out of bed realizing she has taken this to far.

She silently dresses and packs up her hodall, trying not to wake the sleeping teenager who is still oblivious to Jen's fleeting departure. As she reaches the door, she turns and stares with sorrow at her sleeping lover. She tries to pull the door open but forgets to unlock the latch and the door rebounds shut loudly.

Tilly jumps awake at the sound and stares at the brunette sleepily "Where are you going?" she asks, then notices the hodall in the teachers hand. "Jen?" she asks with sudden panic.

"I cant do this." Jen says quietly not looking at the teen.

"...your leaving?" the re-head asks in confusion.

Jen turns back to the door and unlocks the latch. Tilly scrambles from the bed "Stop Jen" she pleads as the brunette opens the door. "Talk to me" she continues turning Jen around by her shoulders to face her. The teacher remains looking at the floor and does not respond.

"Jen...please...Whatever it is, lets work it out together." Tilly attempts again in desperation.

"No" Jen finally responds and looks at the red-head in front of her "You're too young to understand" she continues with sadness in her eyes. Tilly feel her frustration turn into anger at this comment and she shoots a glare at Jen.

"Oh I get it...to young to understand but old enough to Fuck!" Tilly lashes out bitterly.

Jen slaps the teen across the face, deeply hurt by the painful accusation. Tilly's hand rushes to her stinging cheek and tears well in her eyes. she immediately regrets her verbal attack but it's too late the damage is already done. Jen turns, walks through the door and closes it shut behind her.

Jen walks fast across the car park trying to reach her Jeep before she crumbles. She fails as her legs buckle beneath her and she collapses against her car; tears erupt from her eyes as she holds her stomach doubling over in anguish.


	9. Car park

**hey sorry just a quick one...I didn't want to leave you all hanging :0) Hope you enjoy. thank you for your continued support, Cleo xx PS Happy birthday Lucy Dixon x**

The sun had fully come up and the car-park had come alive with cars arriving or departing; Jen had remained in her Jeep unmoved. The fight that had happened hours before plagued her mind. She desperately wanted to run back into the B&B and beg forgiveness and hold Tilly in her arms; yet her mind and heart were in direct conflict with each other.

Logic told her the relationship was nothing but a fantasy, that it did not have a place in the 'real' world; they were a cosmic accident and did not belong together. Yet knowing all this, all she could really be certain of, is how much she missed Tilly at this moment. She did not want to be in a relationship with her but she could not be without her. Her head and her heart would have to agree to disagree for the moment because Jen was unable to comprehend the situation.

Tilly had entered a state of numbed auto-drive in conclusion to the events that had happened; she had showered, packed and made her way out of the small hotel. She was not really sure of her plan; she had no money or transport. She contemplated phoning Maddie, she had refrained from doing so, afraid of exposing Jen; She was not sure why she was still protecting the teacher.

On entering the car-park she spots the Jeep, she can just make out the silhouette of Jen sitting in the driver seat her head hanging down. Her heart jolted in a sharp intake of breath as the sight of the brunette penetrates her numbness. She wants to run, in both directions, towards her lover and also away from her mixed messages.

She stares at the car, in two minds, for maybe ten minutes. She finally decides to walk away, when the passenger door of the vehicle swings open. Walking over Tilly climbs into the seat and closes the door gently, neither of them speak; The teen looks at the silent brunette, who stars at her own fidgeting hands placed in her lap.

"I'm sorry." Tilly says making the first move. "for what I said to you." she continues not receiving a response from Jen "It's just after the night we shared...you sneaking out...leaving me in a hotel room alone...made me feel...well...used." she adds struggling for words.

Jen looks up at the teen and shakes her head, sadness across her face. She had been so busy struggling with her own feelings she had not stopped to think about how this would appear to the teenager. She knew this had been Tilly's first time spending a night with someone; the brunette is devastated by the thought. The red-head believed Jen had taken her innocence then run; discarding her, like a male university students notch on a bed post.

"No. Tilly. I'm so sorry." she grabs the teens hand and squeezes in affectionately "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. last night was incredible." she adds. Tilly finally looks up and stares with sad eyes at the teacher. "I left because it was so perfect, I was scared." Jen continues.

She reaches across lightly stroking the side of Tilly's face with her finger tips, trying to caress away the pain of the earlier slap "I'm so sorry about this too" Jen adds and leans forward kissing the teenagers cheek. Tilly closes her eyes at the kiss, succumbing to the brunettes apology; she could never stay mad at Jen.

"Jen if last night was perfect, why are you scared?" asks Tilly finally calm enough to talk.

"Because this is not supposed to be perfect. This is not supposed to even exist. Me and you aren't in a relationship." Jen replies, not really sure if even she agrees with her words. "We are not supposed to be this intense, this is just supposed to be young and free and fun." she adds, dismissing all of her heart's protests.

Tilly feels the words sting a little, however, both women are in stubborn denial of their underlying love for each other. Tilly concludes Jen is right, shes seventeen and has so much life ahead of her, so why complicate things. They were so equally destroyed by the fight this morning that they just want to be in each others arms again; and minus any complications or seriousness. Tilly convinces herself she does not need anything more.

She leans in and kisses Jen on the lips softly, letting her know that she is alright with the situation.

"Talking of fun." Jen says pulling a white credit card item from her bag "I still have the room key and checkout is not for another two hours." She adds with a smile at Tilly.

"Good, coz you really need a Shower! " replies Tilly with a smile, earning herself a mini punch from the brunette.

Jen gets out the Jeep and walks around the bonnet "How about instead of me showering.." She says opening and then leaning on the passenger car door "...you join me for a bath?"

"ok" Tilly responds with a wink "and then after, you can take me the long way home."


	10. Angry

** Sorry for the delay, I made it a bit longer to make up for the wait. I Hope you continue to enjoy, Cleo xx (The quotes in italic belong to the show)  
**

Tilly was surprised they had made it home from wales. As asked, Jen had taken her the long way home; definitely the scenic route. Plus there were continual stops and starts, as Jen would suddenly drive into a lay by, whip of her seat belt and draw Tilly into a passionate kiss. Maybe the spontaneous pit stops would have been less frequent, if the flirtatious teen had been able to stop her hand from sliding up the teachers thigh and skirt as she drove.

Tilly was in no any rush to return home, anyway. She loves her friends and family, but the place was becoming her cage; one that locked in her desires and locked out Jen.

Now home and thrown into the throws of ordinary life, she is literally and emotionally miles away from the holiday with Jen; a trip where she had lost her inhibitions and her innocence (...plus a gorgeous pair of La Senza briefs).

She has retreated inward and had not really ventured out of the house; bar a few coffee dates with friends or a rushed encounter with her secret lover in a near by discreet location. She felt increasing isolated even when among her friends because she was unable to communicate with them openly and freely. She was tripping herself up over her own lies and was running out of convincing reasons to evade a social gathering, in-order to spend a moment with Jen.

Although she had no physical proof, she could feel an invisible wedge between her and Maddie; she had seen her best friend only once since returning from Abersoch. She could not fight the guilt that she was betraying the loyal blond with her silence, they had always been able to talk about anything with complete trust; Tilly knew this was going to eventually destroy their closeness, it was only a matter of time before Maddie would confront her.

It was becoming impossible for the brooding teen to remain optimistic, but once in her lovers arms, Jen could kiss away the doubts and frustrations in seconds. Still Tilly was becoming increasingly annoyed at Jen's conflicting actions. The teacher had tried desperately to seduce her earlier that morning but Tilly had stayed strong. She had intentionally aroused Jen with a teasing slap on her bum before sending her off to a Pilates class with Diane; knowing full well the brunette was already brimming with sexual frustration. Yet, the teen needed to make a point, if this was nothing but a bit of fun to the older women, then she was not prepared to ditch her friends every time Jen wanted attention.

Tilly had agreed in wales that this was nothing but a summer fling; she believed, however, that she would of agreed to anything at that moment, just to feel Jen's touch again. In continual contemplation during the past few days, she was unable hide her true feeling from herself. Even if Jen didn't feel the same way, it seemed obvious to Tilly that she was head over heals for the teacher. She worried whether she was just to young to understand her feelings accurately. Maybe she was misinterpreting her raging hormones and recently heighten sexual awareness, as love; after all she had nothing to really compare it to.

The truth was that Tilly had not misunderstood. Love was an emotion that predated the justice system; It was blind to the law and struck at random and at will. Race, age, gender were not obstacles to this unstoppable force just mere unimportant details. Both women could compromise themselves with logic but no amount of time or distance would suppress the emotion; how long was the teacher prepared to run from it; only time would tell.

Even tho Jen hid it from her lover, she was struggling desperately with her own feelings too. Jen as an artist, had convinced herself that she could find another way to channel her pain. She could understand if she was new to the game but she really wasn't; she had no excuse for her reckless passion. She had always been free spirited but she was exposing herself to irresponsible and irreversible damage. She knew this and yet she could not stop.

The relationships only saving grace is that she didn't have to go through the usual pointless sexuality identity issue with Tilly. The teen was confidently out and socially excepted already. How refreshing to be with a feminine and fully out women; a combination of gold dust; she was totally in awe of her.

Every step she took towards Tilly felt like an avoidable mistake but her legs would control themselves and find the teen regardless, she would see her auburn beauty walking past and within seconds her lips would also rebel, like her legs, and betray her by kissing the red-head. How could she take responsibility for her actions, if her body had a will of its own and ignored her mind like it was an overbearing parent.

She had pushed it all to far when she canceled on Tilly last minute. The circumstances had been out of her hands, when her brother Liam had turned up unexpectedly on her door step, she had no choice but to postpone their arranged hotel stay. However, she knew it would hurt her teen lover, who was already expressing signs of inpatients at her unpredictable and inconsistent behavior.

She sneaked out of the house early in the morning; Tilly had grudgingly agreed to meet her.

Jen sees the teen walk passed the window of the hut and stands to her feet in anticipation of the conversation. She knows she's to blame but she too is frustrated and angry at the circumstances. The younger woman stands at a distance clearly annoyed by what has happened.

"_**I'm so sorry**_" Jen says with obvious compassion for the teen "_**I tried to re-book**_ _**the room for another night...but, they said**_ _**it was too short notice.**_" she continues.

Tilly does not speak and rolls her eyes not interested in Jen's excuses. She had canceled on her friends to meet with the teacher last night. How long could she put up with Jen hypocrisies, was her heart so relentlessly fickle that the teen was nothing but a game to the bored brunette.

"_**He just turned up on my door step. What else could I do**_?" She pleads, slightly annoyed by Tilly's stubbornness. She looks down with a sigh, realizing Tilly is too angry to see reason; Jen tries a different tactic and acknowledges her lovers point of view. _**"You're really angry?**_

_**"Yeah!"**_ Tilly finally responds with sarcasm.

_**"On a scale of one to ten?" **_Jen quizzes with a hint of playfulness trying to defuse the situation.

_**"Eleven!" **__r_eplies Tilly more bitter than she had intended. Noting Jen's reply of 'Oh' and a mischievous worried look on the teachers face, Tilly re-answers _**"Seven"**_

Jen can see that teens defense is sliding and tries her luck further by remaining playful and edging forward; trying to bridge the gap between them. "_**That's not quite as bad I suppose..**_"

_**"Six" **_Tilly grudgingly replies; her icy exterior being melted by the seductive heat of the woman in front of her. The teen sighs in annoyance at her lack of will power.

_**"Anything I can do to make it like one or two?" **_The older women continues, standing now within inches of Tilly and gently tugging on the teenagers 'daisy duke' style shirt. The Red-head stares longingly into the brunette eyes, Jen moves in to kiss her.

"No!" Tilly suddenly and unexpectedly answers, pushing the calculative teacher away. Both women stand shocked at the announcement. "I'm worth more that that, show me some respect." she continues, her anger returning and Jen's spell evaporating. "You just do what you want when you want. and you think standing there being all adorable is going to make it all go away." Tilly adds finding it hard to hold her tongue with her increasing temper.

Tilly is seeing red. she could not stop her rage now even if she wanted too. She does not even notice Jen's face begin to harden, the teacher getting angry now herself. The days of pent up longing and suppressed feelings, are bursting up through the pair like a volcano.

Tilly points at the woman in front of her "I bet you have just waltz through your entire life, getting exactly what you want with that playful cute act. Do you care about anyone but yourself?" She barely has time to finish the sentence before she finds herself launched up against the side of the hut. She hits the wall with such force, she is nearly lifted off her feet. The teacher stares at her with Ferrel anger, breathing heavily through clenched teeth.

Jen presses hard against the teens body and lips, without any compassion. Tilly pushes the brunette hard from her and stares seething at the teacher; both women now panting in rage. Their eyes lock together in ferocious battle.

Jen steps forward, grabs hold of Tilly's shirt and rips in open, miraculously the buttons stay attached. The teacher reaches out, grabbing the teen placing one of her hands on the back of Tilly's neck, the other hand forced up her back underneath the material. She pulls the teenager into her own body and tries to kiss her but Tilly turns her head in deviance; Jen lips smack into the teens cheek. in retaliation she scratches her nails hard down Tilly's bare back.

Tilly squeals at the sharp trail across her skin and lashes out at Jen making her lose her stance and begin to stumble. Seeing the teacher losing her balance Tilly pushes her again and Jen falls heavily and awkwardly into a sitting position on the sofa.

She stares at Tilly fuming but the Teen moves first, marching over and straddling the brunette; kneeling over her lap. She grips hold of the back of Jen's hair, that is raised in a scrunched up pigtail, and pulls her head back hard causing Jen to wince.

Tilly leans in to bite the teachers now exposed neck but the brunette counter acts the movement pinching Tilly's nipple hard...the shooting pain forces her to release the grip on Jen's hair. The older women now free of the hold, leans forward and bites down hard on the teens breast. Tilly calls out in pain, jumping from the sofa, grabbing Jen's chain in the process, pulling the teacher up with her.

The teenager reaches out with her left arm and wraps it around the waist of the brunette; she drags her swiftly towards her body. Then, With her right hand she reaches up Jen's short black dress and grabs her underwear, so violently they tear and fall to the floor. With the teacher in temporary shock, she gives Tilly the advantage, as the teen returns her hand up the dress and takes Jen right there on the spot.

The older woman gives into the defeat and she allows her aching body to respond to the teenagers angry thrusting movements. She moans out in pleasure, climaxing fast and hard; calling out Tilly's name in the process. Her chin rest on the teens shoulder as she breathlessly repeats "I'm sorry" in her lovers ear; until Tilly finally pushes her back onto the sofa.

"You better be!" Tilly replies, her voice still stern but laced with arousal.

Jen sits trying to regulate her breathing again and stares up at the teen, who is reconnecting the buttons on her top. The red-head finishes by tying it in a knot at the base, then exists the cabin without saying anything else or looking back. Jen is left speechless and beyond aroused at being completely controlled and dominated by the seventeen year old.

Tilly walked down the street, her bruised breast throbbing under her shirt where Jen had bitten her; but she is smiling; high from the encounter. Now temporarily relieved of the emotional and sexual tension that had been possessing her. She goes to text Jen but the brunette beats her too it, as Tilly sees the screen light up with an incoming message.

From Jen: _**I'm glad me made up. x**_

Tilly smiles at the screen and then slides the phone back into her trouser pocket; she feels it instantly vibrate again with a ping and she pulls it out to read.

From Jen: _**Want to make up again tomorrow?**_

A huge grin spreads across the teens face, finally content; the text confirming to her that Jen is o.k with what had just unexpectedly happened between them.

It is 1am and Tilly is not even dressed for bed yet, she has been lost in her sketch book, drawing Jen's face from memory. She feels her phone vibrate through her pillow, she reaches under and spots a message from Jen.

From Jen: **I can't sleep. I'm just down the road in my Jeep. Meet me?x**

Jen drives to a remote hill car park, a popular make out spot due to its uninterrupted privacy at night; being away from any main roads. She is surprised to see no other secret couple at the darkened site but drives to a secluded corner just in-case.

They both climb into the back and smile at each other warmly; the violence from their early encounter defused. Jen kisses her younger lover passionately on the lips and pulls her in against her body. The contact, however, makes Tilly wince and Jen pulls away; guilt etching across the teachers face. She undoes the first two buttons on the girls top and pulls the material open to exposes the bruise; her teeth marks still visible. She lightly kisses the injury, genuinely sorry.

"Let not have angry make-up sex again." Jen says playfully.

"I hurt you, too." Tilly says looking deeply into her lovers hazel eyes.

"We hurt each other." Jen response before kissing Tilly on the forehead to try sooth her frown away. Jen smiles but sub-consciously thinks to herself 'And we will continue to do so.'


	11. Hotel room

Jen had hoped the latest incident between them would cull the crazy intensity for a while. The opposite seemed to happen and they had found themselves fighting again the next day. The argument had peaked when she had told Tilly to just leave the relationship if she was unhappy. Her stomach had dropped as the teen turned and exited the wooden hut. She watched helpless whilst internally begging the red-head to stop. Maybe the younger women had heard her inner monologue because she had stopped and turned back; before confessing that she could not walk away.

Jen is temporarily relieved, however, now both women are so busy trying to accept a relationship status of casual, that their true feeling are being suppressed. Ignored emotions may build up slowly enough for you to convince yourself they do not exist; but they bubble under the surface in a sea of invisible frustration. If not released gradually and healthily, they eventually combust with unpredictable results.

Both women appeared oblivious to this reaction. Like their love is the slowly fermenting sugar in champagne, circumstances shaking the bottle violently, their frustration the carbon dioxide escaping in a chemical reaction to the events...increasing silently inside the neck and pressure building beneath the cork...till POP! This relationship is building to an explosion, it is not going to end quietly; someone is going to do something stupid. The two burning questions are who? and when?

Outwardly it would appear Jen is dealing with this issue better than her younger lover; Tilly openly displaying her annoyance. The truth, however, was that age and experience just made the teacher better at compartmentalising; after all it was an essential skill required in her profession. The way a doctor gets conditioned to the sight of death, youth professional learn to separate their personal lives.

Her calm in this storm had been wrongly mistaken as indifference by the teenager; Tilly believing, that if Jen felt the same, she would just show it. The reality is that the implications weighed heavily on Jen. She had to appear to not encourage this secret love affair, it was far beyond social prejudice, the teacher was breaking the law. If caught. Prison did not distinguish between a child rapist and a teacher falling in love with her legal student, a nonse was a nonse; and everybody knows what happens to one inside.

The thought always devastated Jen, she was a good person; always remaining just inside the law. Plus none of her partners before had been younger than her. The day she had met Tilly, she had no idea the teenager would be her student, she had fallen for a young beautiful woman on an open beach. There had been nothing wrong with their innocent encounter.

She was no longer telling herself her feelings were not deeply intertwined with the beautiful red-head but she was still unsure if this could end in anything but a disaster for them both. Should she end this now? Maybe through tough love, make Tilly hate her so at least the teenager could heal and move on. The thought hurt her with intensity but she wanted to protect Tilly...she wanted to save her from all this.

Her thought process finally concluded whilst sitting next to Tilly on the sofa in their usual wooden hut escape. She had said some things she regretted in frustration and had followed Tilly to the cabin to apologize; whilst there she actually confessed to the teen the true extent of her seriousness for her. It was in that moment that she knew she had to take control of their situation. She needed to take the job at Hollyoaks college and she needed to end their affair.

Jen was not sure entirely what had just happened to her in the shack. She had somehow come to a finalized decision. She had no choice; it may have been to late for her but she could save Tilly's life. All she had to do was appear closed and professional at college, it was a state of mind and a carefully crafted façade. What did it matter that it was a mask, as long as everyone could see a strong together appearance; no-one would know, not even Tilly, that Jen would be slowly dying inside. 'Don't dream, Just function. Just exist... until Tilly moves on.' she repeated to herself in a sort of mantra.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Tilly asks with a beautiful smile at Jen sat next to her.

"Spend the night with me?" Jen replies. She watches Tilly look down, sadness spreading across her face. The teenager not wanting to invest her hopes in the question, still hurting from the last time the teacher had asked for this and then failed to show. "I won't let you down this time...I promise." she adds with a playfully cute face.

Tilly looks up and stares into Jen's hazel eyes, as they silently urge the red-head to trust her for a second time. A short while of contemplation passes until the teen replies "O.k." going against her better judgment, her head losing the fight to her heart again; except this time she is aware of it. There is no longer any doubt in Tilly's mind...Jen Gilmore is her kyrptonite.

If it was going to be their last night together, Jen wanted to at least do it right. She tells Tilly she will book a hotel. The brunette wanted to have a beautiful image to hold onto in the agonizing weeks that would surely follow.

Gaining strength from the illusion that she is doing this for the greater good and for Tilly's future happiness, she tell the teenager to go home to pack and tell her parents she would be sleeping at Maddies. The Teen leaves, agreeing to meet Jen in her Jeep up the road in a few more hours.

Tilly is beyond excited about staying over night with Jen, Abersoch seemed a life time away; all their encounters since returning had been rushed and laced with frustration. She knew that they both longed for quality time with each other, away from reality and away from the fear of being caught. 'Ive never been more serious...about anyone.' Jen's words circle in Tilly's mind in a whirl of euphoric delight. The teacher had appeared more closed and distant since that night in Wales; Tilly now knew that this was how Jen dealt with stress. She knew how to read the beautiful brunette, her actions and stern words were a barrier hiding her true feelings. Jen's eyes, however, spoke with an intensity that made even Tilly's passion seem small; she knew Jen was in love with her.

They had arrived at the hotel and had barely made it through the door before their passion had taken over; Both women were always so wound up by the time they got alone together. They were forced to fight against the need to touch each other physically in Hollyoaks. So, as soon as they knew the coast was clear their bodies would stop fighting and succumb to each other.

The first round had not even made it to the bed. Tilly had taken Jen up against the wall, almost claiming a reward for being the first of the pair to undress the other. Jen, however, was not far behind her younger lover, she responded by laying Tilly across the desk, spreading her legs and kneeling on the floor between them. The hot caressing sensation of the brunette experienced tongue had sent Tilly's body to spasm into an arch so uncontrollably on the desk, that she had broken the light stand. Forcing the women into fits of giggle as they finally fell onto the bed into each others arms.

"oops." Tilly's states with a giggle.

"Breaking furniture, I can't take you anywhere Miss Evans." The brunette teases with a mock seriousness.

"oh, You can take me anywhere you want Miss Gilmore." Replies the red-head, cheekily.

"How about right now on this bed?" The teacher response and she pulls Tilly deep into her body. They begin to kiss each other passionately again, tongues searching tongues and hands gripping skin.

After a while Tilly begins to descend down Jens body, she sucks and nibbles lightly on the brunettes nipples but doesn't linger their for long, as she continues her journey down; wanting to return the sensation she had received on the desk.

"Wait" Jen interrupts and tilts Tilly's head up by her chin. "Come up her, I want to see you." she adds, as the teen moves back up her lover in soft gentle kisses. Jen was suddenly remembering why she was there and wanted to experience as much of Tilly as she could.

Laying on their sides, they move in close, thighs between thighs; sharing kisses between longing stares. Jen grabs Tilly's hand and brings it to her mouth, The teen inhales deeply as Jen takes two of the fingers into her mouth and sucks on them seductively. She then lowers Tilly's hand back down her own body and places it between her legs, guiding the teens fingers deep inside her. Tilly gasps in arousal. "Don't move yet" Orders the teacher. She raises her own hand to the her lovers perfect plump rose mouth and the teen mimic's the brunette by sucking on the two fingers that trace the outline of her lips. Jen slowly slide her finger out of Tilly's mouths and lowers her hand before sliding them into the red-heads core.

Tilly's body immediately response and her breathing increases. "Slow it all down" Jen whispers into her ear "I want this to last forever. Wait for me before you release." she adds.

They hold off their orgasms while continuing to caresses each other hungrily with their searching fingers. Both women fixate on the others eyes; staring longingly beyond and deep into each other. Their mouths gape open through irregular panting and occasional moans seep out before being swallowed back down by the women fighting their release. Time stands still and the world around them fades; all that exist to them in this moment is each other.

Eventually, Tilly is the first to break the silence "Jen...I can't...wait... much longer" She pants bringing her forehead to the brunette's; still holding off the contractions.

Jen kisses her and breathlessly whispers "I want you to cum for me now ."

Tilly isn't sure if it is the delayed build up or hearing Jen ask her to cum, but she loses control of her body as it clenches into an explosion of ecstasy. Jen lets go too with a loud moan, both women finally climax in unison their bodies shuddering and shaking against each other. Their foreheads lightly touch again and Jen gently rub their noses together, breathing heavily against her lovers own panting mouth.

She reaches up and holds the teens face in her hands, caressing her cheeks with her thumbs; she moves her head back and stares lost into Tilly's emerald eyes. In this moment she wants to tell her that she is in love with her but she knows she can't. The thought is too much and Jen is overcome with grief; she feels vulnerable and weak in Tilly's presence. She closes her eyes and with a sharp intake of breath she winces in pain as her chest collapses; she knows her heart is breaking.

Before She can recover, the tears form behind her closed eyes and she breaks down into loud and heavy sobs. Tilly has never seen her lover so fragile and she frantically wraps her arms around Jen trying to suppress her shaking.

"Jen..." Tilly pleads. "Babe are you o.k?" The teen continues but Jen is to distraught to answer. In a state of panic Tilly pulls the brunette into her own body, with one hand wrapped around her waist , she uses the other to guide Jen's head into her chest; she holds the older women tightly to her body and cradles her lover ; desperately trying to sooth away her anguish. "I've got you. You're safe in my arms." She adds placing a kiss on the back of the teachers head, as Jen cry's uncontrollably upon her.


	12. Drawing

**Thank your for you lovely reviews, it encourages me to continue. Enjoying writing this because they are such a realistic and adorable couple. Going to keep this story intertwined with the episodes to keep it authentic for you but primarily focusing on the off-screen gaps. Hope you continue to join me on their journey, Cleo x**

Jen's tears had finally dried, however, the brunette had not spoke again that night; Tilly remained cradling her tightly until both of them had fallen asleep. The teen was concerned but she knew her lover well enough to know, she had to wait for Jen to come to her. Tilly wore her heart on her sleeve, detrimentally at times; Jen was far more reserved with her feelings. When the red-head woke alone the next morning, she sits up in instant panic; assuming Wales is happening all over again.

"No. Don't move Tilly." Came a cheerful but irritated voice.

Tilly turns to see a naked Jen sitting curled up on the divan sofa; sketchbook in hand. The red-head sighs, firstly relieved Jen is still there and secondly because she concludes in this moment, that she could never get tired of her current view.

"Tilly! lie back down please. I'm drawing you." snaps Jen again in her stern yet totally adorable mock serious voice. "And pull the rest of the sheet off of you." she adds, pointing with the end of her pencil, at the white sheet that covers the teen's lower body.

Tilly lowers herself back into her sleeping position and removes the sheet in the process. She knows she is fully naked upon the bed, yet, she does not feel embarrassed or exposed; with Jen as her voyeur she just feels totally sensual.

"Wow, are you always this bossy in the morning?" Tilly jokingly replies not moving; too excited not to talk but determined to stay still for her artist lovers sketch.

"How about you start a research study, each morning we wake together, recording my moods. Naturally you will have to do over 100 studies, to gain a respectable average." Jen teases with a huge grin.

"Maybe 200, just to make sure." Tilly teases back.

Jen is not intentionally leading her younger lover on, she is too lost in her work and in Tilly's natural beauty, to remember that waking together would no longer be an option once they both return to college in September.

"Well, for the record. We haven't actually woken up together yet." Tilly states sarcastically, noting that their Welsh sleepover had ended in a row and today she had woke alone in the bed.

Jen does not reply. She is determined to complete her work, this isn't just about her love to draw, She needs this. Memories eventually fade but art is timeless. Just like in this picture, her beautiful Tilly and their love would be frozen in a moment; forbidden to age or alter over time and experience.

Jen was almost at the feet when her fidgeting nude model speaks again. "What does Jen Gilmore and Jack Vettriano have in common?" The cheeky teen asks with a huge dimpled smile.

"Jack Vettriano's paintings are reminiscent of the film noir genre. So, the common link is that both our work include romantic or nude themes." Jen replies in her serious teaching voice, looking over her sketch pad at a her clever lover; before giving her a cocky smile.

"Nope! " replies Tilly fighting a mischievous smirk. "Vettriano is also famous for sleeping with his naked muse." Tilly responds, tapping the empty space on the bed beside her; in a universal gesture for Jen to join her.

Tilly's confidence fused with her artistic intelligence was a heady mixture for the teacher. Jen never let on just how easily the teen could turn her to Jelly; she was totally weak at the knees for the enigmatic red-head. She sits firm, despite now being totally aroused, she has to finish her sketch; she attempts to continue finding it really hard to concentrate.

The Red-head is determined to win this game and can see the inner struggle laced across the brunette's face, despite the teacher trying desperately to ignore her and continue drawing.

"O.k. You carry on drawing.." The teen announces grinning "While I wait, I'll just amuse myself and then maybe you can finish." The pun was not wasted on the older women, Jen knew exactly how the teen was planning on amusing herself and that it was not the artwork, Tilly was implying she 'finish'.

Jen tries desperately to ignore the seductress but finds her gaze searching out Tilly over her sketch pad. She watches the teen playfully tweaking her left nipple and closing her eyes in pretend arousal. "Ooooh yeaaah!" Tilly continues in a fake orgasmic state, failing miserable to hide her obvious amusement and having to bite her lip to suppress a laugh.

Jen grips hold of the sofa in clear arousal but she is stubbornly not giving in to her misbehaving red-head. 'Shit' Jen cursed to herself; realising their lust for each other is insatiable. 'She has it all.' she thinks to herself. 'beautiful, sexy, intelligent' she smiles '...and humorous.' she silently giggles watching her playful lover mimicking a badly acting porn star. The jovial teen trying to seduce her; and very successfully too.

Jen's eyes and mouth open wide in shock and excitement, as she watches Tilly slide her hand between her own thighs and lightly caress herself. The brunette watches mesmerised, until she can take no more.

"Urgh!" Jen playfully states in mock frustration before standing and slinging her pad comically over her shoulder. She Moves to the bed and lying down, spoons her seductive teen. She pushes her body close up behind the younger women and reaches around placing her own hand on Tilly's self pleasuring one; taking control of the movement and pressure but allowing the teens hand to continue.

"You're right...I don't like good girls." Jen confesses, quoting Tilly from two days earlier in Diane's living room.

"mmmm...I Win." Tilly responds realising her victory at the game.

"Then, how come I feel like I've just won the prize." Jen replies nibbling on Tilly's ear affectionately, before finally moving the teens hand out the way to take full control of pleasing her lover.

The room heats and the silence is penetrated by the moans of Tilly's real arousal. Jen's sketch pad lies open on the floor, leaving her artwork, like their love affair, still temporarily unfinished.


	13. Rebellion

**Firstly, I would like to apologize for the miss spelling of Gilmour...whoops! Think we all got caught out there ha ha. Again thank you so much for the reviews...it makes this process so enjoyable. Hope you continue** **to enjoy too, Cleo xx Ps The Words in italic** **belong to the show. I own nothing; only a laptop and a huge crush on this pair *:o)**

Tilly had finally allowed Jen to finish the sketch and the amused brunette had labeled the portrait 'The temptress' in homage to the same titled Jack Vettriano piece; inspired by her seductive red-head. Vettriano may have been the topic of conversation , however, Jen's head space was much more Vladimir kush; as she struggles internally with her emotional decision. How was she going to leave all this behind? Jen knew she had some big soul searching ahead; she still had not taken the job and she had not yet spoken to Tilly about the inevitable demise of their summer fling. How could she possibly confess this to Tilly; when she was still in denial herself. She was more than aware that in her delay she was allowing them both to fall deeper in love with each other; yet she could not stop; Being near Tilly was becoming as essential as breathing to the conflicted teacher.

She had one last thread of hope to save the doomed relationship that was consuming her thought process; her interview was today for her first choice school. In theory, a future with Tilly could be possible if the interview was successful; they would still have to be really discreet but it didn't spell death like Hollyoaks would. Jen knew Tilly was making her resolve weak; either college and the teacher still had a responsibility to end the affair. She resented her predicament and raged against her thought process; 'I'll deal with it later' she states to her brain.

"I have to leave now" Announced Tilly after emerging from the bathroom, her hair still wet and scraped back; resembling a youthful Cate Blanchet. Jen smiles from her chair admiring the teens strong face, both as an artist and as a woman; she sighs almost in a swoon, knowing how innocently unaware Tilly is of her natural beauty.

"awww" replies Jen in her playful voice.

"Sorry, I promised to meet the guys and I have some unfinished chores you keep distracting me from." Tilly responds, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Jen's forehead.

"Yes, me too I suppose. plenty of things I need to be organizing. I have to prepare for my interview too." The teacher announces with reality sinking back into her resolve.

"oow yeah Hux green. I've everything crossed for you!" Tilly states excited because both their futures are riding on this interview. If Jen gets the job, then all the forbidden element of their relationship dissolves away along with the resulting frustration.

"Not your legs I hope?" Jen replies with a sultry pucker of the lips, then runs her hand up the inside of the teens thigh as she stands in front of her. "Can you get away tonight again?, I can book us in for another night." She is running out of money but she knows these final moments are worth more than any amount; Subconsciously she is trying to prolong the fantasy.

"Yeah, I think It will be fine." Tilly responds pulling Jen's face up by the chin so she can kiss her on the mouth to say goodbye. "See you tonight." she adds before collecting her bag and walking out the hotel room.

Tilly had played it super cool but as soon as she is out of ear shot she squeals in excitement; another night with the gorgeous Jen Gilmour. She still could not believe that this attractive and intelligent older women would want her in this way. Even tho she never let Jen see, Tilly is still overwhelmed with every kiss and almost in shock that she is able to touch Jen; believing the brunette is completely out of her league. If either of them put as much effort into communicating to each other, as they did to their own thought processes, they would both realise that they were totally in awe of each other.

Now back in the town, Tilly wonders around lost in her own blissful thought process. Neil knocks Tilly out of her day dream with a confession of knowledge to her secret affair with their college teacher.

"_**hey, don't lie to me man...we're supposed to be mates**__._" Neil adds dismissing Tilly's denial to the accusation.

"_**You can't say anything to anyone.**_" Tilly responds in panic; Not wanting to betray her friendship but at the same time protect Jen.

"_**Like I would man**_." Neil almost interrupts, slightly annoyed that Tilly would even think he was incapable of understanding the situation. He looks away and shakes his head upset that Tilly is questioning his trust. He understands, however, that his friend is scared of the consequences; he voices his concerns to highlight his understanding and underlining support for his peer. He quickly realizes, from the defeat on Tilly's face, that the relationship is more than lust.

"_**What ever happens...I'm here, yeah?...for keeps.**_" He finally announces pulling the red-head into a friendly embrace. Tilly is internally relieved that the secret is out; even if it is just one person. Holding on to this silent truth was beginning to take its toll on the teenager. She may have been mature for her years, however, this process was submerging her. Firstly her feelings for Jen were bigger than she had ever experienced and secondly the stress of the complicated circumstances were more than anyone could deal with. She relaxes into Neils arms and allows herself to feel safe and for the first time in a while not so alone.

"You're in love with her aren't you?." Neil says not releasing his friend from the hug.

"Yeah. " Tilly replies in a moment of weakness. suddenly she pulls away regaining her willpower "But don't tell her Neil; She doesn't feel the same." she adds stress spreading across her face.

"She must do Tils. She's risking a lot for you." Neil retorts. Tilly stares at him and realises he is probably right; 'I just hope its enough' she replies to herself.

* * *

Jen and Tilly had bumped into each other after the interview; the school had phoned whilst they were still together. A sadness gripped them as the news came back negative but neither of the women spoke about the resulting consequence.

Jen felt defeated and complained to her younger lover about coming back to England; after the freedom she had felt traveling before her placement. Society wanted to fit her into an adult mode but Jen feared she would never belong in it. Tilly could see the teacher was in turmoil and for a change not about their relationship; in a way the affair with her was the closest truth to Jen's personality. She believed the brunette was a seriously talented teacher, however, a true artist is as easily tamed as the wind.

They both sit in silence with their backs against the stone wall. Tilly's attempts to cheer up her lover with optimism had not worked.

"Can you afford tonight?" Tilly ask Jen finally focusing on the realisation that the older woman is jobless

"Yeah but now I'm broke." Jen says with a giggle.

"I'll pay, ok. Don't say no, I want to contribute." Tilly says and risks placing her hand on Jens, even tho they are not totally hidden from the public, Jen does not move away. She does not want too and to be honest right now she wants to rebel anyway. "and then we can both be broke together." Tilly adds laughing.

"Well they say the best things in life as free." Jen replies her mood being lightened by the banter and distraction from the world; Tilly always had a way of making her forget about everything else."Come on lets go back there now, lets go hide away from everyone in our room. I paid this morning, so we might as well make the most of it. We can use your money to order in room service and wine. lets go out with a bang before we sink into poverty." Jen jokes. She stands and takes Tilly's hand, pulling her along behind her.

"I haven't got my bag, I took it home to re-pack something clean to wear." Tilly says giggling, as she is pulled up by Jen.

"Don't worry..." Jen replies pulling the teen into a very public embrace and kissing Tilly passionately; the brunette is feeling fearless due to anger at her social constraints. "...you wont be needing any clothes." She adds with a big grin.


	14. Fantasy

The hotel room is looking slightly disheveled, clothes discarded at random and the remnants of a meal lay scattered across the table with two empty wine bottles. The women are dressed comfortably in just their underwear, they spread freely on the bed; a glass of red wine balancing in their hands. They Lie top to tail, with Jen leaning on the head-board and Tilly resting on her left elbow staring down the bed at the brunette. They are engrossed in conversation, at ease with each other and sharing their pasts. Jen's experiences are rich and interesting; she elaborates on her travels.

Tilly is lost in the stories, smiling and laughing, she allows her artistic imagination to fly her away; enticed by the thrill of adventure. She begins to believe she is living a ridiculously sheltered existence. She is aware she is only young and her opportunities will come, however, Jen had been right when saying that she would be trapped at university for years following a dream of becoming a doctor. After uni she would be stuck in residency for a further year, before entering a career that would consume all the hours in her life; she did not want to wake up at thirty and realise she had lost her twenties in study.

She concludes that they both need to escape from their lives and the restrictions that are being placed upon them. Maybe it would be nothing but a pause before the inevitable fall into adulthood, however, a time-out is needed. A gap year would not affect either of their long-term plans, only delay them slightly; allowing them a year of each other in freedom. During her life she would always be able to look back on this year of exploration with warm memory; knowing that she had once lived beyond boundaries and socially free. Plus on returning She would be eighteen; all the legal restrictions would no longer apply; they would be free to be together openly.

"What are you smiling so happily about?" Jen asks her lover whilst rubbing the teens ankle affectionately.

Tilly is forced out of her reverie, unaware she has become so lost in her thoughts of escape; she smiles at the brunette. "You. us. I'm just really Happy Jen." she answers, not wanting to share her plans in fear of spoiling the surprise.

"Me too" Jen replies with a dimpled smile; in a rare moment of unguarded emotional honesty.

"Did you bring any oils in your Jeep?" Asks Tilly with a sudden rush of inspiration and remembering finding art supplies in the boot during their woodland trip. The trip where Jen had touched her intimately for the first time, Tilly feels herself flush at the thought, out of both arousal and embarrassment of losing her innocence.

"Yes. it's always fully stocked, just in-case. Why?" Jen answers curiously noting the teenagers mischievous look. "What are you up to Miss Evans?" she adds but Tilly does not answer. She just throws on a hotel robe before grabbing the teachers keys and running out of the room.

Jen smiles at the spontaneous confidence of her younger lover; she remembers she used to be as fearless. Sure, it still existed inside her and would emerge occasionally triumphant. Like inviting a stranger on a road trip and then kissing them, turning up to a holiday she was not invited to, running naked across a beach...falling in love with her student. She sighs in the realisation that these examples have all been inspired by the red-head. Tilly was able to bring out the elements of her character she loved the most; a side her career threatened to suppress. She knows this is not just a choice between a career and their love affair; Jen is being asked to choose between a career and herself.

Tilly runs back into the room in a fit of giggles, strips her robe and kicks off her shoes; throwing the oils on the bed. She runs over and puts her cold hands on the teacher's exposed abdomen,gaining her a yelp and an arm slap; Tilly laughs playful. "It's freezing out there!" she adds to her laughter.

"Shame, I just thought you were pleased to see me." Jen responds, running her thumb across the lace material covering Tilly's erect nipples.

"Always." Tilly states and sits side straddle across the brunette's lap, she wraps her arms around her neck and kisses her slowly on her lips.

"You're not planning to paint on the walls are you?" Jen jokes spying the oils on the bed but no canvas.

"Nope, I plan to paint on you." Tilly replies with a smile and jumping off the bed. "Every lesson I used to have with you, I would lose all concentration...as you can image. One minute I would be sitting there painting into a blank sketch book...the next minute I would be imagining you spread naked across the desk as my canvas." she confesses.

"Tilly!" Jen announces in shock, eyes wide.

"Oh don't act so surprised...you knew I was undressing you with my eyes in class." Tilly leans down and plants light kisses along Jen's outstretched legs "Its been a fantasy of mine ever since...To paint on these gorgeous legs, Miss Gilmour" She adds, smiling at her speechless brunette.

Tilly climbs over Jens legs and positions herself on the bed lying along side the teacher, she half rest on her lap,straddling the brunettes waist with her elbows; so she is facing down the legs towards her feet. She pulls the paints towards her and removes the green oil tube and a paint brush from the box.

Jen Feels the cold thick oil squeezed onto her leg from the tube, she shivers as the brush makes contact caressing the paint across her thigh; the feeling mimics a feather being guided across her skin. It tickles but in a light intoxicating way; the feeling is extremely sensual. She begins to understand the fantasy as she stares at the empty canvas in front of her, she glides her fingers across Tilly's back; admiring her flawless skin. She unclasp the teen's bra strap because it hindered her art space; Tilly momentarily stops painting to remove the garment for Jen. The teacher takes a brush and three tubes of paint from the box, she places two of the tubes on Tilly's bottom using it has her table; the teen giggles causing Jen to giggle realising what she had done. Led on her belly hinders the laughter's movement and shakes through the red-head body causing her bum to wobble.

"Stop wobbling you or my paint will fall off." Jen adds to the giggling; this just makes the teen laugh more. Jen tucks the tubes into the hem of her lovers french knickers "There, nice and secure." she add to the movement and Tilly turns her head to smirk at the teacher suggestively in mock disapproval.

"Oww that's cold" Tilly states as Jen squeezes the oil onto her skin. "I've always wanted a tattoo on my back." she adds.

"Well you can't" respond the teacher in her playful voice "This is my canvas."

They lose an hour enjoying the process, first due to their personal artwork piece and secondly due to the resulting sensations from the others brush strokes. Their lovers caressing paint work enhancing their own creativity in an endless loop of arousal.

"Finished" Tilly finally announces with a huge grin admiring the array of beautiful insects and flowers that adorn a thick intertwining ivy that weaves around and up Jens legs. "What to you think?" she asks moving out of the way.

"um...reductive" Jen replies not being able to resist the opportunity to quote herself from the day they first met, just over four months ago; when she had upset Tilly with her overly critical opinion. They both laugh and the teen sticks her tongue out. "That really is beautiful, so much detail; you should use oils more often." she continues this time with a serious and loving reply.

"Can I finish mine now?" The teacher replies in mock sternness. Tilly apologizes and begins to lie downs again. "No its OK, sit up, I've completed the back." Jen responds to the teens movement. Tilly smiles liking this idea much more, she straddles the brunettes lap; kneeling either side of her thighs and sits down. Jen reaches around Tilly's waist and drags the paint tubes, that are still tuck in the hem of her knickers, around to the front. The red-head feels her nipples stiffen at the move, Jen notices and leans; taking one in her mouth with nipping lightly. Tilly moans and grips the bed cover. "You'll have to wait till I finish" The Brunette teases.

Jen picks up the paintbrush and begins to paint Tilly's front, paying particular interest to the teens hardened breast. The red-head begins to get incredibly aroused, however, as ordered she refrains from giving in to her lust; she tries to regulate her breathing and grips the duvet tighter.

The teacher is enjoying the arousal she is causing her lover, she caresses her skin for intentional sensuality; she can feel Tilly wet upon her thighs. She feels herself getting aroused too but she endeavors to complete her art work. The teen sits brimming with frustration for fifteen more minutes until Jen finally finishes.

"O.k, you can go look now." Jen announces and points to the full length mirror. Tilly jumps off the teachers legs full of curiosity at the piece. She stares smiles at the work Turing in front of the mirror smiling; she stand with her back to the mirror and looks over her shoulder at detailed art work.

"Wow Jen. This is gorgeous. It looks Victorian." Tilly states looking at the corset that the teacher has painted onto her body. The details in the garment is so defined that it almost looks like the teen is wearing the clothing. Tilly admires the intricate drawing of the ribbon in the lace up back.

From her sitting position across the room Jen admires the body of her lover, the distance giving the illusion that the corset is real "I thought I'd combine both our fantasies." She admits to Tilly.

"Take a picture!" Tilly orders Jen throwing the brunette her mobile. Tilly poses with her back to Jen and peers over one shoulder with a seductive stare. Jen obliges, deeply turned on by the sight and secretly impressed with her oil work. "Your so talented." Tilly continues.

"So, your fantasy is me in a corset is it?" Tilly adds noting Jens earlier comment; the brunette nods and smiles. "I'll make sure next time that fantasy becomes a reality." the red-head promises.

"How about until then...I get you in the shower, and help you out of this one." Jen replies, rising from the bed and taking Tilly's hand. The teen does not answer but allows the teacher to guide her to the bathroom.


	15. The Shower

The two women hold each other in a tight embrace standing under the shower head, the warm water runs down their bodies; steaming up the glass panels. The paint from their skin swirls into an array of colour around their feet. Neither of them speak or move, the lust from earlier washed away and replaced with a need to be close together. Jen has never felt this level of intimacy before with anyone; she melts into Tilly's arms.

The brunette already knows that no amount of time or distance is going to erase the teen from her memory. She can almost already sense the hurt she is going to inflict on her younger lover; she fears that the teen will not understand her decision. That Tilly will feel used and not believe that she is trying to protect them both; the thought of the teen hating her is more than she can bear. Pulling the red-head in closer, she wraps her arms around tighter; subconsciously wanting to sooth away Tilly's future hurt.

Tilly feels Jens wet skin slide against her own, they fit perfectly together; she nuzzles her face into the neck of her slightly taller lover and rests her cheek on the teachers shoulder. She can feel Jen's breast push up against her own and the small line of hair caress against her thigh. She allows her hands to glide along the contours on Jen body, as if trying to remember her by touch; yet she knows the brunette is fused into her memory and would stay there for eternity.

"Oh God, I'm gonna miss this." Jen says in a whisper, she had not intended for this to be said out loud; she is lost in the moment. She suddenly realises her confession and adds "being alone with you in this hotel room." she hopes she has recovered the conversation.

"When people feel like this, they find a way to be together." Tilly responds, almost hinting at her true feelings. She is afraid to confess how she really feels to Jen; she is nervous it would scare the brunette away. The teen has not forgotten the confession of love from Jen, as they sat watching the sunset; it seemed a life time ago now tho. The teacher is a mess of mixed messages and has a history of changing her mind; withdrawing from contact and contradicting herself. She has continually broken her own rules through out their tumultuous affair, blurring all the boundaries; leaving Tilly confused about where she stands. She keeps drawing her in, then pushing her away again; it is no wonder the teen is terrified of rejection.

As both women become overwhelmed by their internal monologues, they once again seek physical comfort from each other. Love may need a explanation or a justification, however, lust needs no thought process; just a willing partner. Jen's mouth finds her younger lovers, Tilly responds, and the kiss deepens. Their mouths and tongues connect in a fever of movement, sometimes mis-matched; as their frustration fuels their rising arousal.

Jen lightly bites the teens lower lip, along her jaw and down her neck; She bites hard into her shoulder. Tilly groans at the pain and slides her tongue into the brunettes ear; the sensation sends a burning tingle of awakening through the teachers thighs. There is no need for foreplay, both their bodies are already there. "Touch me" Jen pleads.

Tilly obliges, pushing Jen up against one of the panels, the glass is cold in direct contrast of the steamed cubicle; the teacher shudders as goose bumps spread across her body. The teen opens Jen's legs with her thigh and slide her hand along her groin. With just a slight amount of pressure she begins to externally massage her slightly parted lips. Tilly looks up at her lover and hopes she is pleasing her; shes always been confident with Jen, however, she knows she is the most inexperienced of the two. She wonders if it shows and subconsciously bites her bottom lip in insecurity.

Jen loves the way Tilly touches her, it seems so unrehearsed and real, her lack of experience has been the highlight of all their sexual encounters; because the teen is confident enough to take control but innocent enough to be imaginative. Her fingers would almost be searching for a response. Tilly would read her body language to stimulate her in a perfect way that would reflect her needs in each separate moment. In this very moment she needs Tilly deep inside her. As if on cue her talented lover penetrates her slowly with the full length of her index and middle finger, she then begins to move them in a clockwise motion, increasing the diameter with each rotation. Jen gasps at the movement and again goes in search for the red-head's mouth. The sight of Tilly biting her lower lip, is so sexy to Jen, it nearly sends her over the edge.


	16. Champagne

**Well, I've finally stopped sulking after that episode:o( Jen crying was just too much. Compliments to the beautiful Amy Downham and Lucy Dixon tho. Big shout out to all the authors on here too...any jelly fiction is good jelly fiction; your stories cheered me up yesterday guys. I'm gonna keep mine in the hotel for one last chapter before we crash into reality. Hope you're enjoying and love your reviews, thank you. Cleo xx**

Tilly lay on the bed in her hotel robe, she watches the beautiful brunette as she towel dries her body; her hair still wet and framing her face. There is something so erotically beautiful about Jen with wet hair; Tilly rarely gets the opportunity to witness her in this pre-groomed state; she feels she is witnessing a private moment that only a lover would see. She is relieved that Jen is no longer her teacher. She had admitted earlier to undressing the brunette with her eyes during class. How distracting would it be, now she actually knew what the teacher looked like walking around naked; she would fail her A levels on the grounds of diminished responsibility. Especially after the sight she had seen half an hour ago.

Her mind drifts to the shower they had just shared together, she could not help smirking at the thought, that despite the shower gel, she had emerged dirtier. She had not only pushed her lover up against the glass over and over again, she had also pushed her own sexual boundaries. Driven by a desire to dominate Jen, she had deviated from their usual tender love-making...in an act that could only be described as 'fucking'. The process, however, had not been crude; it had stemmed from a primal urge to reach the maximum arousal. She had filled the brunette to her capacity and brought her screaming into an orgasm. Jen had gripped her so tightly, her nail marks could still be seen in the red-heads shoulder blades. Tilly had watched the brunette's face etched in sexual arousal and finally contort in climax; whilst breathlessly repeating acknowledgment that she was cuming.

"I've never actually done that before." Jen states smiling and blushing slightly. Now dry and robed, She climbs on the bed next to the teenager and kisses her on the cheek.

"Sorry" Tilly replies, worried she has pushed their experiences too far.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I liked it. I trust you." She says smiling at Tilly; she is admitting this to herself as well as her lover. "Although I don't think I could do it again soon." she adds with a giggle, implying she is sore from their adventure.

"Me neither" Tilly respond pulling the gown off to reveal the claw marks.

"Oh Tilly I'm sorry." Jen says, turning Tilly onto her front and kissing her injuries. "I have some arnica in my bag." she adds before jumping off the bed to rummage through her holdall.

"Whats arnica?" Tilly quizzes, as Jen returns with a small bathroom travel bag and sits on the bed.

"It's just a cream made from plant root extracts. It's good for bruises and post orgasmic injuries." the teacher replies with a grin.

"It says that on the packet huh?" Tilly mocks.

"Yep. Look, right here." Jen says pointing at the small print on a tube of cream before reading it in a posh accent "Store in a cool, dry place. ointment can be applied to bruises and post orgasmic injuries." she adds an austere look to fabricate seriousness; a laugh threatening to escape from the corners of her mouth.

"Good Job you carry it around with you then." the teen replies in dry sarcasm "Because you're an animal" she adds rolling back on to her front. Jen lightly spanks her bum for the animal comment and they both laugh.

The brunette gently rubs the cream into Tilly's shoulders and smiles reminiscing the cause of the nail marks. She really had not done that before, maybe that made her naïve. Maybe she just hadn't been with anyone before, who she was comfortable enough with to explore these boundaries.

"That's really relaxing. you have magical hands Jen." Tilly states but not moving.

"...And you've only just realised?!" Jen replies in a playful innuendo. Tilly giggles at the comment. "Can I give you a massage?" she ask her younger lover.

"Yes, please" Tilly responds with enthusiasm.

Jen pulls a bottle of baby oil from the travel bag, she drizzles it across the teen's back as if she is a desert. Tilly brings her arms up and crosses them beneath her head, so her forehead is resting on her forearms and she is looking down; she closes her eyes so she can relax properly. Jen begins to rub the oil into the teenagers porcelain skin. There is a knock at the door and Tilly jumps in panic.

"It's ok. It's room service I ordered some champagne and another wine. Don't move or you'll get oil everywhere." Jen replies, walking to the door. She opens it smiling at the porter; he walks into the room with a tray of alcohol and glasses. Tilly, now a bright scarlet from her naked embarrassment, burys her head in the bed; unable to move and hide her modesty. The teenage porter, who was roughly Tilly's age, collects the earlier room service; he fights a smile but remains professional.

He is more than excited by the view in the room, him and one of the chefs had earlier joked about the gorgeous lesbian couple in room 19; he had jested about joining in with them. The fact he had just seen the younger of the two, naked and covered in baby oil, was going to make him a hero for the night among the kitchen staff.

Jen breaks down into laughter as soon as she closes the door behind him; she stifles the laugh seeing Tilly's face is beetroot from the interlude; the teen grumbles loudly. "Oh you have nothing to be embarrassed about, your gorgeous." the brunette says, returning to the bed and grazing her fingers up the length of Tilly's left leg. She climbs back on the bed, straddles the red-head and begins again to sooth the oil into the teen flawless back. She likes the feel of the oily texture gliding across the teens warm skin, she runs her hand over her shoulders; taking the opportunity to admire Tilly's elegant neck. Adding more pressure she begins to work out the knots of tension. She ponders over the stress that has caused them, it seems karmically fitting that she be the one to remove them.

Tilly allows herself to relax into the massage, it had been far to long, since she had really stopped to breathe. With stressful exams and a secret romance; which is bad as often as it is great. It had been months of turmoil, Paloma faith's song agony circles in her head as Jens hand work across her muscles; she fights back tears as the lyrics haunt her. The next twenty minutes pass by in silence.

Tilly has practically melted into a state of tranquility by the time Jen rises from the bed. The teacher bends down and places a kiss on the teens bum before moving to the desk. "Do you want a drink?" Jen asks, popping the cork on the champagne without spilling its contents.

"Ooow yes." Tilly responds and walks towards Jen, she stands with her body up against her back and brings her arms around the teachers waist; she places soft kisses up her neck. The older women turns in Tilly's arms, to face her, she kisses her on the mouth passionately. The red-head reposition her arms inside Jen's robe and with her hand on her bum pulls her closer into the embrace; their kiss deepens.

Jen shuffles them both back and pushes Tilly into a seated position on the end of the bed. The teen pulls the brunette towards her, so Jen in standing between her legs; she kisses her abdomen. Jen takes a swig of champagne from her glass and places her free hand on the side of the teens face; she swallows then beds down and kisses Tilly. The red-head licks her own lips tasting the champagne that had laced Jens mouth.

"Open your mouth" The teacher orders and takes another sip. She hovers an inch from the teens mouth and slowly dribbles the liquid onto her tongue. Tilly can not begin to explain the sensations that are building up inside her; the chemistry between them is so clear. Jen pushes her back horizontal on the bed, still standing in the middle of Tilly's legs, she leans forward and drizzles champagne from her glass in between the teens breasts; the fluid runs down her body and pools in her belly button. She shivers as Jen bends down following its journey with her tongue and lapping up the drink.

Jen kneels down and her body pushes Tilly's legs further apart. The teacher lifts her lovers left leg and places it on shoulder, she move forward simultaneously pushing the teen leg backwards. Raising the glass she pour champagne on to Tilly's lips; the liquid is cold and fizzes across her most sensitive areas. Jen taste her lovers excitement which is mixing with the sweetness of the alcohol; she repeats the process over and over until her glass is empty and Tilly's body contracts into a noisy climax. Jen pulls Tilly up from the bed and hands her a full champagne flute. "Cheers" she says and chinks lover's glass.

The woman continue the night drinking; switching between conversation, laughter and orgasms. Finally drunk with alcohol and passion they slide into the covers of the bed, Jen spoons Tilly holding her as tightly to her as possible; she does not want to let her go.

"Don't get out of bed before me. I want to wake up with you in the morning. it will be our first time; I need this. " Tilly pleads to the brunette.

"I need this too...more than you know." Jen replies.

* * *

** watch?v=79v2Flvtaio (Paloma Faith - agony)**


	17. Ky 'Fucking' Roberts

**Sorry for the delay, life gets in the way :o) Hope its worth the wait, please continue to comment. Cleo x**

**please note: Strong language.**

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**Jens chapter - part 1**

Jen had kept her word; Tilly had woken that morning still held tightly within her arms. The brunette had remained lost in her lover's warm embrace until check out, savouring every kiss; memorizing every touch.

She had dropped the teenager home, kissing her long and deep before she would allow her to leave the jeep; she was worried it would be their last. She locked the moment into her memory, the sensations of Tilly's soft rose lips caressing her own; would help her get through the pending weeks of loneliness.

She arrives at Diane's home and sighs heavily. The student teacher is grateful for the offer and the low rent; however, she craves a space of her own; she is use to her independence. Diane has an overbearing habit of mothering everyone in the household; something her lazy brother happily exploits.

The brunette mopes around the house, stuck in a pensive mood; she has so much going through her mind she is finding it had to focus on anything. When her mind is not escaping to reminisce in the hotel room; she is left in a moral battle of wills, fighting over her future fate. Whenever her path crosses Diane or her brother, they verbally force her into the inevitable decision of phoning Mr Keeler. She resents their interference; however, she knows they are only looking out for her best interest. Plus neither is aware of her true dilemma or feelings; although she suspect Liam has his suspicions.

She reaches for her phone, hoping for a welcome distraction; she has two unread messages.

From Tilly - I can still feel your fingers caressing my skin, I can still smell your perfume fused with my own, I can still taste your essence laced on my tongue...so how come...I already miss you? xx

She smiles as her stomach fills with butterflies; four months on and the teen still has this effect on her. She replies, then returns to her inbox to read the second message. It is Ky one of her old art student friends, talented beyond belief but unfortunately unpredictably eccentric and swears like a sailor; scaring off all the established galleries.

From kyra – Holly shit Miss Jenovive. They've only fucking gone and given me an exhibition slot in Chester for a week. You get that gorgeous ass of yours here, right this minute. Or ill come there and spank you rotten. xx

Jen laughs at the Londoners brash text and concludes that ky 'fucking' Robert might be exactly what she needs right now. Jen freshens up, re-applies her makeup and heads for the door.

"Where you going Jen?" Diane asks the fleeting brunette; still closely monitoring her movements.

"Going to meet my friend Ky in Chester." Replies Jen, relishing in that fact she does not need to lie on this occasion.

"Oh Ky is amazing! Can I come?" pipes up Liam joining the conversation.

"No!" replies Jen playfully but leaving her brother little doubt that she wants to go alone. She exist the door and jumps in her car, thrilled to be getting out of Hollyoaks.

During the journey she is so excited to see a familiar face, that she has been successfully distracted for the first time, from thinking about her current emotional crisis. She arrives at the chosen pub and pulls into the allocated car park. Running through the rain, she covers her head with her bag; pushes through the large blue double doors and enters into the warmly lit tavern. The interior is splashed with colour and the air is filled with the musty smell of ale; live music fills the atmosphere mixed with raised voices and laughter; Jen expects no other choice than this bohemian dream, from her enigmatic friend.

Ky is already there and Jen finally spots her, shamelessly flirting with a long haired hippie; who is propping up the bar in his over sized mac. Her colourful fellow student has very tightly cropped black hair, however, a beautiful face to go with the style. She looks like a lesbian but confesses often to 'love cock more than paint'. It is a running joke that Ky always attracts more women than the straight looking Jen; who in turn always attracts more men. They love to go out clubbing together, so they can pull then swap; Jen having the lipstick lesbian curse of other women assuming she is straight.

It is the Hippie that notice Jen's arrival first, the black-haired beauty follows his gaze and she sees her friend walking through the pub. Ky runs towards her, picks her up and spins her around "God! You're here, you're really fucking here." She adds before putting her down.

Jen smiles, giggling at her friend, She feels so happy being back in her past and away from her present; the feeling does not, however, last long.

"Shit Jen, you look like crap!" Ky announces with her typical honesty.

Jen laughs although begins to falter, her hard façade that has had to dominate in Hollyoaks, has no place here among these rebels of socialization or a close friend who would guard any secret to the grave; the laugher begins to turn into sobs.

"Jenovive...I was only Joking my lover." Ky tries to retract her statement and drags Jen to a nearby sofa; they both sit down.

"Im so sorry, Ky. If Id of known I would...I didn't mean to ruin...I shouldn't have come." Jen stumbles over her words and begins to stand. Her dark-haired companion pulls her back down.

"Heeey. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part, beautiful." Ky says placing a hand on Jen's knee and her other arm around Jen's shoulders; not use to seeing her charismatic friend in anything but a cheerful mood. The teacher allows Ky to pull her into a hug and relaxes into her loving hold; finally feeling safe in her friends arms for the first time in weeks.

"Did you fail your placement? Don't worry teaching is a waste of your fucking talents anyway." Ky states after a while, with a genuine attempt at a compliment.

Jen's tears had finally stopped and she looks up with a smile "No, my placement went really well and they have actually offered me a full-time job." She replies; proud even though she knows her hippie friend would disapprove her 9 -5 pursuit.

"Well that's great then..." the artist responds. Then notes Jens smile slip from her face "Isn't it?" she asks.

"Yes it is." Jen pauses, she is more than comfortable trusting her friend with the truth but she honestly does not know where to start. "It's brilliant in fact; I mean it wouldn't have been my first choice. but I know the chances of getting a position like this, at my age, is really incredible and in this climate it's more than..."

"I'm not your mum for fuck sake. When did you turn 40!" Ky interrupt the waffling brunette. Jen giggles, this time it is not filled with tears. She smiles at the artist and bursts into a heartfelt laugh. She is starting to feel relaxed again in her friend's presence, she had spent so many weeks being forced to be a responsible adult; she has forgotten how to be young and have carefree fun. The only time she ever really feels happy recently is in Tilly's arms but even those moments are overwhelmed by the seriousness and intensity of their feelings.

Ky notes Jen disappear into her thoughts and she sees the tell-tale corner mouth smile of a person thinking about a lover.

"So, what's her name?" she asks, leaning back into the sofa.

Jen sighs, she is ready to talk; she removes her coat and turns her body to face her friend "Tilly" she answers and sighs agin, looking down.

"Does she love you back?" Ky quizzes, letting Jen know that she can already see that the brunette has fallen in love, a true artist never has trouble deciphering true emotions; they spend so much of their lives observing body language. Jen raises her eyes again and nods.

"Tell me the good things about her." The short-haired women encourages, noticing Jens struggle to talk but realising this is the subject matter of her dilema.

Jen smiles as memories of the teenager fill her mind. "She's perfect Ky. Truly perfect." Jen replies, maybe for the first time knowing she can openly talk about her lover without judgment or a lecture. "She is a slender red-head with an adorable splash of freckles across her nose...and her lips...oh my god Ky..." Jen trails off, she traces her own mouth with her fingers, lost in memory of their last kiss "...and she is so intelligent, funny...and naturally artistic" the brunette looks up at her friend, full of enthusiasm talking about Tilly.

"Wow. I've never seen you like this over anyone before. Have you been together?" ky ask with more sensitivity than she is use too; seeing the teacher is clearly in turmoil over something.

Jen bites her bottom lip and nods "She has taken me to places within myself I didn't know existed." She replies, flushing slightly at her confession "I can't keep my hands off of her." She adds with a giggle and a huge goofy grin.

"Jen babe...I'm lost...if you're so happy. What's happened?" finally broaching the subject of her friends earlier tears. The brunette looks down and fondles with her bangles nervously. She is ashamed of her predicament, she knows her friend will not care; however, she is afraid of admitting it out loud.

"Tilly is my student. I'm in love with one of my pupils" the words sound in the air and they become physical for the first time, a releasing of truth; she knows the feeling too well. She felt it the first time she admitted out loud she was gay.

"Holy Fuck Jen...your like the worst teacher ever!" Ky finally answers in fits of hysteric and smiles at her friend warmly. "Love is blind. Beautiful woman, you've been lost in Babylon too long." She continues in her best _Rastafarian _accent.

Jen knows in her current anti-establishment and love-biased company; she is not going to get a solution to her conflict back in Hollyoaks. What she does know, however, is that she had just come out and it felt so good after months of lies and suppressed emotions. When Ky stands and grabs her hand pulling her to the dance floor, Jen follows willingly, she is ready for some young and care free fun tonight; Hollyoaks would have to wait until tomorrow.


	18. Diane's influence

Author note: The words in bold/italic belong to the show. I do not own them.

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**Jen's chapter Part 2 of 3**

Jen wakes up half-clothed, half dead and half hanging of the sofa. "eeeew!" she announced to herself noting her dry sand paper mouth and attempting to sit up "owww." She states at the shooting pain in her head and promptly lies back down.

"You're really out of fucking practice, Lilly lightweight." Scoffs Ky; who is already up and swigging on a coffee in the arm-chair opposite. Jen slowly sits up and pulls the duvet over her body; her friend hands her a mug and smiles.

"Thanks" she says and grumbles at her hangover "well, I'm not a student anymore." She replies.

"Nah! You fuck them now." Ky responds. Jen grabs a cushion and throws it at her friends head, as they both laugh. "I'm only playing, Jenovive." She adds.

"I know" Jen answers knowing her friend cares beyond words for her. "It's been nice to joke about it for a change actually. A nice escape from the reality." 'A nice change from the pain and confusion' she adds but in her mind.

"What are you going to do?" the artist replies, this time in a serious question of concern.

"I don't know" Replies the teacher, in complete honesty. "If I take the Job, then we can't be together because it is illegal. If I don't take the job, I'll have to move away anyway, plus I would mostly likely have to wait a year to find another placement, this close to the school term or the positions are filled." She sighs. "I don't really care so much about me tho, I'll get by whatever." She looks into her hot mug and sips on the fluid; her mind swirling in thought of the teen again. "I don't think Tilly is going to understand my decision to accept the position" she says finally acknowledging that she has made her choice and is just merely delaying it as long as possible.

"What is so bad, about moving away?" Ky asks, knowing Jen loves to travel.

"I don't think I can live without her." Jen admits. "I know it sounds pathetic but I need to be near her. I know if I leave, we will never see each other, unless she comes with me but that would slowly destroy her...she is at a crucial age in her life where she needs her friends and family around to support her; plus her exams are essential for her dream. "She concludes.

"she need you too, tho" responds her black-haired friend.

"I know. That's why I'm staying at Hollyoaks College. I know it's twisted and backwards but it is actually the only way we can be together; admittedly not as lovers. All other scenarios end with Tilly messing up her future, me being arrested and destroying my career or us being apart." She answers in defence; she had spent days thinking it through.

"You're sacrificing yourself for her...aren't you?" Ky answers, seeing through Jen's convincing argument. "You're denying how you feel to her, so she can focus on herself without you distracting her from her future." She continues and smiles admiringly into Jen's darkened eyes. The brunette nods but does not reply. "Wow, you really fucking love her don't you?" Her friend continues. "You know she isn't going to understand and most probably hate you for this?" she adds.

Jen nods and fights back tears "I would rather get to see her every day from a distance...than lose her forever." She states, looking down as sadness beings to creep back into her body.

"You know...'from a distance'...is a lot easier in theory don't you?" ky asks more in a warning, to her friend, of the obvious emotion hurdles that Jen will have to face in her selfless pursuit.

"Yeah." Jen simply answers more than aware that it was her who had broken all the rules last time with her obvious lack of will power and clear inability to resist Tilly. "I guess the advantage now tho...is Tilly will no longer want me,after I have broken her heart" She concludes.

Ky can see that her friend no longer needs reflection and what she is actually in need of is some friendship fun and a nice hearty breakfast. "Get yourself dolled up sweet cheeks. Me and you are going for some fucking breakfast munches."

The two had laughed and joke over a fry up before visiting the exhibition for a behind the scenes preview of the artist work; Jen had left her with a promise to return when the show actually opened. Jen was glad she had visiting her crazy friend, her mind was clearer now having been able to express herself openely for a change. She felt no less in pain, however, at least the desicion was finalised; once she returned she would call Keeler 'well maybe not straight away, maybe tomorrow' she thinks, still not wanting to commit to anything.

Now back in Hollyoaks, she identifies as Miss Gilmour the teacher. The only person there who make her fell like Jen is Tilly; she sits at the kitchen table whilst Diane bumbles around the kitchen oblivious.

Amongst Jen's pending realism, that is destroying her mood, the brunette is also finding herself emotionally and physically pinning for her lover. Tilly had not text her since yesterday and the days absence is starting to get unbearable; their hotel retreat two nights ago now fading into the distance.

Liam barges through the front door sweating from a jog and stealing her orange juice. Diane thinks it is charming; Jen just continues to sulk.

"**_You still mopping_**?" He asks noting her lack of amusement at his drink theft; he jiggles her hand affectionately to reassure her that he is playing.

Jen remains unimpressed "**_I'm sorry I can't share you enthusiasm for being job and directionless_**" she replies overly bitterly and leans on her left elbow; she stares at her phone 'where are you Tilly?' her thoughts plead at the screen.

"**_Well…I might be able to help you out on that front."_** Diane interrupts, smiling and looking pleased with herself; returning with a new orange Juice for Jen. The brunette looks up in concern at her colleague.

"**_Worked a bit of the old Diane magic on Keeler didn't I? Told him to keep the job open for you._**" She tucks her blond hair behind her ear impressed that she still has her charms when needed.

"**_You did what!"_** Jen almost shouts indignantly. It is not that she did not appreciate her colleague's influence on Keeler, she knows she needs all the support she can get; she was just hoping that it had not happened so soon.

"**_Hey…"_** interjects Liam looking at his sister with a scowl, shocked at her rudeness. "**_I think she means thank you very much Diane, that's very kind of you._**"

Jen sits back sighing heavily, her eyes close in pure defeat. She knows it had to happen eventually; she just is terrified of finally accepting the post. She knows the moment she agrees to take the post to Keeler, she will officially be Tilly's teacher again; and in that moment their relationship will be officially over.

She rest her head on the back of the wooden chair, she wants to disappear; she knows she is being ungrateful. Yet, she feels trapped by the situation and slightly bullied almost by the two of them ganging up on her in the kitchen.

**_"Look I know it's not what you had your heart set on._**" Diane says sitting, misinterpreting Jen's turmoil as her just wanting a better teaching position. "**_But...Well, no one else is exactly beating a path to your door are they." _**She adds. Jen shrugs and shake her head in frustration but is unable to see a fault in Diane's logic. **_"I just don't want to see all that talent you've got with the kids go to waste." _**The blond urges sympathetically.

"**_Diane's right"_** Liam joins in, placing his hand on Jen's. "**_You are a quality teacher."_**

**_"I'm beginning to doubt it myself this week"_** Jen replies thinking back again to her Huxley green interview.

"**_Well Jen you shouldn't_**" her colleague replies urgently **_"The college will be dead lucky to have you"_** The brunette raises her eyes briefly, she is flattered by Diane's believe in her. **_"and keeler knows it! So, he is gonna give you until tonight to decide whether your gonna except the offer_**" the blond concludes.

Jen stares at Diane. She lets out a smile with a sigh, Diane is a good friend. Jen knows she has just been offered a student teachers perfect progression, on a golden plate. A college who believed in her abilities; and sees past her experience to see the potential. This would normally be the best news anyone could hear; in an alternative reality...One in which Tilly did not exist.


	19. From a distance

Jen's chapter - part 3 of 3

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The soon to be hired teacher had gone for a walk after the conversation in the kitchen. The weather offers a rare break from rain, in a summer that has barely shown at all. She finally stops upon the wooden bridge that crosses the village pond; she checks her phone again but there is still is no word from Tilly.

She knows she can text the red-head first, however, she is conflicted at what to say. In hours she would be receiving a call from Keeler and accepting his offer, she could hardly text Tilly saying she missed her and needed her touch; even if it is true. Her conscience would not be clear because the text would be inappropriate. Plus what she really should be texting is to arrange a meet up, so she can tell Tilly the truth face to face; she is too afraid. In her current mood she does not have a strength, to break the heart of the woman she is so deeply in love with.

She stares into the murky water, a brown leaf floats on the surface next to her wavy reflection; spelling the first signs that the summer will soon be coming to an end. The summer holidays always sweeps by at an unstoppable speed; this one in particular seemed to be disappearing far too quickly.

She thinks back to her arrival in Hollyoaks, she had been so excited and full of enthusiasm at her new teaching placement; eager to finally put her years of university into action. She even sensed some potential for the tiny village, when she saw that a local art exhibition was being held only a day after her arrival. She remembered texting Ky 'I think I'm gonna like it here.' to which she expected and got a characteristic jibe reply 'what? pulled already...haven't you only just manage to escape from your last fucking U-haul' she had rolled her eyes and giggled; the truth was she had not met a women and she did not intend to either. She was genuinely thrilled at the prospect of some single and independent soul-searching; she wanted no distractions during her first year placement.

As if by a Ky premonition, at the art event she had unexpectedly bumped into the beautiful and charismatic organizer. She did not assume she was gay but felt drawn to her instantly, she saw a possible friend among the strangers in the town; after all she was alone here. however, the thought of evening catch ups over coffee with her new friend, had soon come crashing down, when her critical analysis had been misinterpreted as a critical attack.

A few days later, however, she had been given a second chance and the opportunity to explain to the stranger. She tried to use her charm to win over the stubborn red-head, however, it was her who had became bewitched. She was mesmerized by the strength and yet fragile beauty of the woman in front of her, at times strongly independent and then suddenly shy; in an urge to get to know her better she had invited her to Crosby beach.

It was there she found herself flirting with the stranger, it was all so effortless; plus the red-head had inadvertently shown her sexuality through secret glances from her expressive eyes. When she had admitted that her ex was female; their smiles had cemented their fate. Later, circumstances had found them staring deep into each others souls and in that moment she knew she had no choice but to Kiss her, it was beyond her control; it felt like destiny. Did love at first sight exist?

She hears footsteps coming along the tiny bridge; she turns in anticipation, half hoping to see Tilly approach.

"_**I've been looking for you everywhere…I need a word!"**_ One of Tilly's friends, Neil, announces whilst walking towards her. The last thing Jen wants do is to talk to a student, further reminding her of her school role.

"_**Can it wait?…I've got a lot on my mind**_" she replies, completely dismissing the teen.

"_**What like Tilly, ruining her life because of you?!"**_ Neil spits back in anger at Jen's lack of politeness. 'You can dismiss me all you want but not tills' he thinks to himself annoyed.

Finally getting the teachers attention she stares at him almost in a daze "_**what do you mean?"**_she asks.

"_**You know Tilly...your girlfriend? Not ringing any bells?"**_ Neil knows he has slightly broken his friends trust with this last comment, however, he believes he is acting in her best interests.

"_**Shhhh…how do you know about that?"**_Jen replies in sudden panic, standing and addressing him; finally giving Neil the attention he thinks he deserves.

"_**Look it doesn't matter…now I've known Tilly for some years and the Tilly I know don't quit college for no one."**_ Neil stares at the confused teacher and realises that she does not seem to know what is going on. He thinks back to the conversation he had with his friend, then explains to the brunette, that the red-head had spoken to him earlier that day. Telling of her plans to quit college and not return to Hollyoaks in September.

"_**Is it because of you?" **_He finally asks.

Jen is still slightly concerned that she is having this conversation with another pupil and even more perplexed by the information he is sharing. This situation is spiralling out of control and the sooner she speaks to Tilly the better; she really hopes he has misinterpreted the situation.

"_**There is no way Tilly would quit college…you**_ _**under-estimate her...She's her own woman…I've**_ _**got no power over her."**_ She replies, defending both herself and her absent lover. She says it with confidence but even she doubts it, Tilly has power over her actions; why wouldn't it be the same be in reverse. After all, everything that she has been planning to do over the last few days has been for Tilly; maybe she was trying to do the same for her.

"_**What kind of person lets an A* student drop out?"**_Neil finally announces before walking away, he has made his point. Jen understands his concern and it is not something she plans on letting happen either. She heads home herself, she needs to call Keeler immediately; she needs to accept the post before Tilly does something stupid.

When she arrives back home, everyone has gone out, she makes a beeline for the phone. Suddenly there is knock at the door, she opens it, Tilly stands in the door way with a huge beam on her face.

"I saw you arrive home." She announces.

"Tilly, someone will see you." Jen states, in shock to see her lover standing in the doorway. The red-head pushes past her and strolls into the house. "Tilly, you can't be in here" she pleads.

"Phoning someone?" Tilly responds, pointing at the phone in Jens hand.

"What?! I mean no. Tilly you need to leave!" she says more urgently and moving to the door.

"Not until we talk." The teen replies with a mischievous smile. Jen knows Tilly means it, she puts the phone back in its holdall, grabs the red-head by the arm and drags her upstairs. She shuffles the teenager into her bedroom and slams the door shut in a panic.

The Array of colour that hit Tilly's senses is exactly how she imagined the teacher's room to look; the duvet spoke more about art than sleep; the teen smiles thinking she would want to do many other things than sleep in this bed anyway. She sits herself on top on the covers, as if she is completely comfortable being there; her face successfully hids the excitement she is experiencing from being in Jen's bedroom.

Jen interrupt her thought pattern by challenging her about Neil's knowledge of their relationship. Tilly dismisses Jens concerns, none of that matters anymore, she tell her of the empowerment she is feeling and hands over her mobile to read.

Jen's heart begins to sink as she reads out loud Tilly's email to Mr Keeler; her beautiful and intelligent lover has beaten her to it, telling the head teacher she would not be returning to college. She falls against the door and clutches the mobile to her heart. 'No babe, stop trying to save us.' She states in her head.

"_**What about your education...your life...your future?"**_ Jen pleads, 'don't throw your life away for me, I'm not worth it.' She continues in her mind.

Tilly raises from the bed and walks towards her, she stands inches from her face "_**you are all those things to me**_" she states.

Jen seals her lips together and looks away trying to hide her eyes from Tilly, her heart had just skipped a beat at the teens words.

"_**Me and you, we are together in this**_" Tilly continues. Jen cannot resist eye contact any longer; her adorable lover is saying everything right "_**We can start again**_." She concludes.

Tilly stares longingly at the brunette's mouth, holding her face in her hands, she leans in and kisses Jen. The teacher refuses and pushing the teen away. The red-head stares deep into Jen's hazel eyes, then back longingly at her beautiful rouge lips; she kisses her again. This time the teacher accepts, pulling Tilly into her body, falling against the door; the teen wraps her arms around her neck as the kiss deepens.

Tilly lowers her right hand; she finds Jen's nipple through the material and rolls it gently in her thumb and fore finger. The brunettes breathing gets faster and she breaks from the kiss; she places her hand over the teens to stop her.

"Tilly...wait...we can't. Anyone of them could come home at any minute." Jen pleads trying hard to resist the arousal coursing through her thighs. Tilly ignores her and begins to suck along the brunettes exposed collar-bone. Her body is succumbing; it had weakened at the mere sight of her red-head; it now trembles at her touch.

"We'll have to be quiet." Jen compromises in her obvious defeat.

"Quite huh?" the teen whispers mischievously into the teachers ear. "Think you can handle that Jen?" she teases. She pushes the brunette further against the door. "Think you can be quiet for me?" she continues and grabs Jen groin forcefully; Jen gasps with a small release of sound at the grope.

"Breaking your own rules again, tut tut."Adds the playful teen.

Jen lifts the younger woman by her bum, carries her backwards and throws her onto the bed. Both women stare at each other, breathless and longing to touch. The teacher watches the red-head lying on her own bed with a welcoming grin, she is over-come with the love she feels for this jovial beauty; able to seduce her within a second and melt her resolve with a single kiss. She closes her eyes in frustration and Ky's words echo in her head 'You know...'from a distance'...is a lot easier in theory don't you?'

"What's wrong Jen?" Tilly asks suddenly concerned.

"I don't want this?" she replies, as if the sudden separation had broken Tilly's spell over her.

"You don't want me?" The teen replies; sitting up on the bed in panic.

"oh no, I definitely want you." Jen responds realising her vagueness. "I mean I don't want you quitting college." She adds.

"I promise I'll sit down and talk to you about it. Ok?" Tilly lies to reassure her. "but do you know, what I want now?" she adds beginning to lean back on the bed again, rested on her elbows behind her back.

"What?" replies the brunette, knowing full well she is about to get seduced again.

"I want you to stay there and slowly remove your clothes for me." Tilly adds. She bites her bottom lip in excitement as Jen begins to undo her top button.


	20. Silently

**Your reviews keep me smiling and often laughing, please continue to contribute to this journey. hope you enjoy...Tilly's chapter part 1 will be posted later today. Cleo x**

Jen's pink jumpsuit falls to the floor and the teen smiles eyeing the brunette standing in her matching black lace underwear. The sight of Jen stripping and standing there with her perfect female body, with natural bumps and curves, gives Tilly shivers down her spine; a burning ache begins to rise and she unexpectedly feels her lower body contract. she blushes at her reaction, they were over a meter away from each other and the teacher is already making her wet.

She looks up to seek her lovers stare, their eyes meet but Tilly does not feel the connectivity that usually consumes them. Whether they are stealing a class room glance or locked in the throes of passion, their eyes have a way of pouring into each other with an intensity that shuts out the rest of the world. This is missing and so is the hint of humor that usually laces the atmosphere, surrounding the equally playful pair. Jen appears lost, not lost in thought or the moment; she looks lost in herself. Tilly sits up as fear fills her; her love for the teacher overcoming all thoughts of lust. Jen reaches behind her own back in an attempt to undo the clasp on her bra.

Tilly stands suddenly "stop.." she adds and her words halt Jen's movements; the older woman looks at the teen. Tilly places one hand on the teachers waist and the other on her cheek, she stares longingly into the brunette eyes as if she is searching for her lover "Stay with me Jen" she adds, pleading with her own eyes for the teacher to acknowledge her.

Jen smiles and blinks at the red-head, as if Tilly's words have resuscitated her from a trace; heart beating again beneath her collapsing chest. she closes her eyes and turns her face in Tilly's hand, she gently kisses her palm; then returns her gaze to the younger woman.

"You seem lost somewhere?" Tilly asks, closing the gap between them both physically and metaphorically.

"I'm lost in you." Jen replies regaining her strength; her natural charm returning. She was not lying, if Tilly is removed from this situation, her life has no issues or complications; she is so lost in her love for the young women that her whole life is spinning into disarray.

"now, in this moment...only we exist" Tilly responds, as if she can read the teachers thought pattern "just you and me." she looks deeply into her lovers eyes, she wants the space between their lips to disappear; the space between the right path and their clearly destined one. yet, she needs Jen to make that move, she needs the brunette to make the choice to meet her half way; to want to meet her half way. 'Kiss me' the teens mind urges 'If you love me...kiss me' her eyes beg.

Jen's lips move forward and gently caress the soft velvet rose mouth in front of her; she does not know how or why her lips have searched out the teens. Yet, she allows her mind to go blank, she draws in a breath and her lovers scent; allowing Tilly to possess her.

The red-head accepts the kiss with a promise of hope. She pulls away and takes her teachers hand, guiding her to the bed, pulling the duvet back; she climbs in fully clothed. Jen follows her willingly behind, she slides in beside the teen and pulls the cover back over their bodies.

The women lie there momentary allowing themselves to process the moment; allowing their hearts to regulate a healthy heart beat. Tilly is the first to move, she smiles at the brunette and disappears under the duvet. Before Jen can react she feels her lovers tongue trailing up the inside of her thigh, her breath catches and she raises her bum slightly to allows the teen to pull down her underwear. The teacher exhales moaning in arousal as the red-heads tongue returns up her skins; she feels Tilly's hand pushing her legs apart and her body obeys. She reaches for the pillow and places it over her face, she knows she looks ridiculous, she also knows the effect her lovers tongue has on her body; a silent orgasm is almost impossible and she needs a way to muffle the sound in-case anyone returns home.

Under the duvet Tilly can not see her lover and has to rely on her other senses to guide her in the pursuit of arousal. She breaths her in, she loves the aroma of her aroused teacher and slides her hand up her inner thighs until they meet in the middle. She parts her lips with her hands and uses the flat of her tongue to run along the inside of Jen exposed sensitivity, she gently feels her out to locate her most throbbing areas. Jen's body jolts as she glides over the hood, she uses the brunette's reaction as a cue to firm her tongue into a point; she slowly begins to create a circular motion whilst applying a little pressure.

Jen can hardly breathe she is pushing the pillow into her face so hard, she already has the material griped between her teeth. The more she fights the sound, the more her body bucks against her lover's face; her muscles shuddering at the resistance and her body contorting at the fight. The tension builds inside her temple and a searing headache forces her eyes shut. She had faked headaches before sex in the past, she had never experienced one during before; Tilly is literally blowing her mind. She inwardly giggles at her though process, surely this kind of passion only exist in Hollywood. The humor had distracted her from her battle with an orgasm.

Tilly hears a muffled scream from her lover, panicking at being caught, she replaces her tongue with her fingers and move up Jen's body to help stifle the noise. The sight of the brunette's hands gripping the pillow tightly into her face, makes Tilly laugh so hard; she has to bite her own arm to stifle the sound from escaping. She pulls the pillow from Jen's face, the brunette shakes her head in panic, even tho Tilly's finger had stopped moving the teacher knew she was dangerously close to a second orgasm.

"It's ok, breath." Tilly commands, as she begins to stimulated the teacher again with her caressing fingers. Jen exhales slowly and releases staring into the teen soothing eyes; her body arches as finger begin to search her deeper. Inspired by the way her arm had silenced her laugh Tilly offers up her neck and shoulder to the brunette and whispers in her ear "Bite down on me".

Jen hesitates at first then realizes the teens thought process, she bites down hard on the crook of Tilly's shoulder, at the base of her neck. The red-head raises her eye brows at the pain, however, manages to suppress her own voice. As she begins to speed up, her lovers body begins to contract and shake beneath her; Jen sucks hard upon Tilly's skin as her eyes rolls back; her body submitting into a violent, yet silent, climax.


	21. Tillys plan

Tilly's Chapter

They had lay in the bed for a while not talking, just enjoying the silence; lightly stroking hands and arms with finger tips. Jen finally moved to get re-dressed, just in-case any of the others interrupted them; she wanted a lie to look believable. She was sat on the edge of the bed doing up her buttons, when they were finally disturbed by Diane; there was a phone call. Tilly had not even heard anyone come home, she had been so lost in their passion. Jen turned to tell her something but Diane had called out again. The teen reassured her it could wait till she came back, the brunette kissed her on the lips before she exited.

Tilly hears a small bang on the door and looks up but it does not open. she is sure she hears Jen whisper something through the door, however, if the message is for her it is lost in translation; all she hears is a muffle. She continues to flick through her emails, smiling first at the message to Keeler; the email made her feel so liberated. Like she had admitted to Jen earlier she is feeling 'empowerment, freedom and joy' she giggles at the memory; she must have appeared bonkers to her teacher; it all seeming to come out of the blue to her lover.

In fact, the elation had been the by product of two days of carefully constructed planning. In a 48 period, the normally extremely straight lace teen...had rebelled against the education system, the law and their 'position of trust', her parents and all of the their constant social restraints 'ha freedom' Tilly tells herself again, giggling at her actions.

She had been inspired the day they were at the hotel together; Huxley green had fallen through along with their last hope of keeping the relationship alive. Jen had been sprawled opposite in her underwear; sharing stories of travels and dreams of other lands. Mixed with the red wine that swirled in her senses, Tilly's imagination was romanced into the thought of escape. A year away from Hollyoaks, away from everything, was a full gone conclusion to her by the time she had left the Hotel the following morning.

Once Jen had dropped her off, and finally let her out of the Jeep with a kiss payment, she had disappeared into her room; ignoring friends and even Jen. She wanted some alone time with her laptop, she needed to research and put her thoughts into action. She emerged some hours later with a plan, however, first she needed a sign from Jen to go ahead. She had text her and waited with bated breath for a reply; an hour later one came.

From Jen- mmm, I wish I could have all those senses right now. I already miss you too. I wish we could just disappear. J x

The text was all the confirmation Tilly needed to proceed "disappear! your wish is my command beautiful" she had stated out loud, as she transferred £2000 from her education fund over to adieu air international; purchasing open tickets to Australia, new Zealand and Fiji.

Her mind back in the room, with Jen's soft warm bed supporting her, she smiles at the confirmation of payment email from the airline. It is only Friday now, the payment is still pending process. The email stated that she should receive all completion and printable tickets by Monday; she decides to keep the secret a surprise until she can hand them to Jen directly.

She is so excited to see the look on her lover's face. unlike the look on her dad's face once he notices the money missing from his savings account. Her smile slips slightly at the thought...'oh god he is going to kill me.' she thinks to herself 'but it will be so worth it...and he will have to wait a year to do it' they will be leaving in less than a week; hopefully before he would notice. Despite this short wait, Thursday seemed like a lifetime away to the eager teen.

'oh shit' It suddenly dawns on her that she will have to face someone worse than her parents; Maddie will be back next week from her trip to San Tropez. How is she suppose to explain this to her best friend, she has just been so caught up in the moment and with the blond being on holiday, Tilly had not stopped to consider this aspect of the equation; She suddenly feels less confident.

She raises from the bed to explore Jen's bedroom and distract herself from the thoughts of Maddie. She stands in front of the Mirror to straighten her clothes, she notices the love bite already forming on her neck. She suddenly turns in panic as the door opens; she sighs a relieve when she sees Jen back in the room.

"You've given me a hickey...Miss Gilmore" Tilly mocks with a giggle. Jen's face remains serious, the teen has used her formal college title; it is hard to ignore after just being on the phone to Keeler. She has finally accepted the post and yet, is stood here thinking inappropriately about a pupil. She should be confessing the truth and breaking her lovers heart, however, all she can think about is how much she wants to suck on Tilly's elegant neck again.

"It's ok, Ill just have to wear a polar neck sweaters for a few days, good job it's rained all summer in England." Tilly jests, mistaking Jen's seriousness for worry over the visible mark of their love.

Jen turns around stressed with this predicament, her silence is betraying her lover; she is not strong enough to have Tilly hate her yet.

"oh right, ok, ill go then shall I?" Tilly announces walking to the desk and hopping on to it, preparing to exist through the window. She can see the teacher has switched again, Jen has an annoying habit of giving mixed signals; Tilly has clearly said the wrong thing again; over stepped some invisible mark that the teacher had drawn at random...again.

"No, don't go" Jen states suddenly returning from her mind. Tilly turns with a smile in anticipation, she is quickly disappointed "You'll die if you jump out the window. and if you go down stairs everyone will see you. you can leave in the early hours once they are asleep" Jen adds

"Not that you actually want me to stay then" the teen responds and begins to open the window in front of her "Ill take my chances." she adds and starts to shimmy through.

Jen grabs her leg to stop her moving out the window. "Stop. I do want you stay." Jen says with genuine compassion in her eyes "I always want you to stay." she adds with a smiles 'That's the problem my beautiful red-head' she adds in her mind.

"I don't believe you Jen" responds Tilly, she hides her happiness at hearing the older woman's words; her trust had been bruised too often.

"Matilda Evans...against my better judgment, despite my looming mental health break down and at risk of my arrest and incarceration...I want you in my bed right now" Jen finally announces; 'hell to the system, I have two weeks till college starts.' she justifies to herself.

Tilly closes the window and swings her legs around to hang over the desk. "So, what you're saying Jenifer Gilmour is that,...you want me...in your bed...right now?" she asks cheekily, wrapping her legs around the teachers waist.

Jen leans in and kisses the teen, she kisses up her neck and whispers in her ear "Well...maybe on the desk first." she says grinning. She open one of the draws at the side of her and grads out a clean rolled up pair of socks. "I think you'll be needing these." she adds with a wink and a giggle. Tilly raises one eyebrow in confusion, genuinely not knowimg what the socks are for; until Jen shoves them in her mouth. Tilly laughs but the sound is stifled; the teacher uses this as a signal to undo the red-head Jeans.

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Authors note:

Hey, I realized there is a weekend before the tickets arrive on the Monday... followed by the chaos and slow relationship demise before new term. I wondered what you all wanted to read, so would love your advice.

a) Continue straight into Monday.

b) Jen takes Tilly to Crosby beach full Tide.

c) Jen takes Tilly to Ky's Exhibition open night in Chester.

d) Other...your ideas graciously accepted.

Thank you for your support. Cleo


	22. Readers choice

Thank you everyone for your comments, I really appreciate them. So, by majority vote...

* * *

**Saturday - The Art Exhibition Part 1**

Tilly had sneaked out in the early hours of the morning as planned: whilst the rest of the house-hold had slept unaware of her secret visit. She had set an alarm on her mobile, guessing correctly that she would fall asleep in Jen's arms; The women, however, had unfortunately not talked. Tilly was none the wiser that Jen had accepted the teaching post and the teacher was also unaware of the teens plans of travel.

The red-head was lounging at home when she received a text from her lover early Saturday afternoon, she quickly unlocks the screen to read the in-coming message.

From Jen - A friend of mine has invited us both to her art exhibition tonight. We can crash at hers too. So, it wont cost us anything. Please say yes? J x

"Oh my God" Tilly squeals, a weekend combining her two favorite things Jen and art. She is also extremely excited about meeting one of the teachers friends, one who invited both of them, did she know? is she going as Jen's girlfriend? She is now in such a good mood, she cannot help but tease her lover.

From Tilly - I can't sorry. I'm washing my hair. T x

The reply come back straight away.

From Jen - No worries. I'll just have to text my back up choice. J x

Tilly smiles at the phone, the playfulness means that Jen is also in a good mood, she has been worried after the brunette's strange behavior last night; the teacher seems troubled. A flurry of texts ping between the pair.

From Tilly - Anyone I know? T x

From Jen - Maybe? She is a gorgeous auburn haired woman. Extremely talented but occasionally stubborn and stroppy...not to mention sarcastic. ;op J x

From Tilly - Hey! anyway how can I be your first and second choice? T x

From Jen - You are also my 3rd and 4th and 5th...

From Tilly - Come and get me as soon as possible! T x

From Jen - I'll pick you up, usual place, at 4pm. Get an over night bag ready. don't forget to pack your smile for me. J x

Jen warmly grins at the phone and to herself, she is ignoring her rational brain, the part that is desperately trying to heed a warning to her; she is not interested in hearing it until the school term starts in September. She runs down stairs to explain to Diane her plans and returns to pack; remembering the feeling of openness and acceptance she had felt at her last visit.

Tilly sees the Jeep pull up and almost skips to greet it, she climbs in and smiles at Jen before placing her bag on the back seat. As soon as they were ten minutes drive away from the village, Jen pulls into a lay by.

"Did you forget something?" Tilly quizzes to the brunette.

Jen could not help her happiness, Ky knew about the affair; there would be two days of freedom for them to just be ordinary. She knows that everyone craves originality and something wild to spice up their otherwise mundane routine; Jen wants the opposite. She is done with all the crazy, she wants to hold Tilly's hand in public; or to flash a secret smile at her across a crowded room, without the fear of exposure. She wants people that she meets to know that Tilly is hers and that she only had eyes for the red-head.

"No, I just couldn't go any further without a kiss." Jen finally replies, She unplugs her seat belt and leans across taking her lovers top lip in hers. Tilly draws her in like a breath and intensifies the kiss with a searching tongue. BEEP! the lovers jump apart at the sudden horn BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! a car of lads goes slowly by with cheers out the window. The women both laugh 'so much for ordinary' Jen thinks to herself but sees the humor; sometimes a soft top car has its disadvantages.

When they finally arrive at the third floor flat, they find a note on the door.

_Popped out...gotta see a dog about a man. See you soon, You know the drill xx_

Jen stretches her arm up to the top of the door frame, stood on tiptoes, she blindly runs her fingers along the edge till she finds the key; It is how Ky stopped herself from ever losing or forgetting her keys. They enter the studio flat, the teen stares in awe at the open spaced studio.

"Wow" announces Tilly, she is not use to this sort of apartment back in Hollyoaks. Maybe it is her recent life changing decisions and or Jen's sexual awakening, Tilly felt older these days. She felt like over the past couple of weeks she has aged beyond her friends, she knows she is not immune to acts of immaturity, however, the can sense an undeniable change in her outlook and attitude. As if everyone else had been frozen in time and her forced to age. Standing in the flat, with Jen by her side, made her feel...well...like she was home. "God...I could live here." she states.

"Well, for today you do." Jen says and grabs Tilly's hand "Come look at this." she adds dragging the teen across the room to a door in the far corner; Tilly giggles as she stumbles behind. Jen pushes the door open with her free hand and ushers the teen through the door.

'I really am home' Tilly thinks to herself as she stares open mouthed at the art studio in front of her. Canvasses and art supplies adorn the room, amply illuminated in natural light from the wall to floor windows on the left hand side. She walks to the nearest easel and stares in admiration at the painting half developed across the stretched surface.

She feels Jen move up behind her "You're too tense" Jen softly says over her shoulder, Tilly's memory swiftly dreams back to their art room encounter, she feels Jen's warm breath on her neck as she reminisces "loosen up...free your mind" Jen continues quoting herself, remembering how she shamelessly flirted and seduced her secret lover in broad day light.

Tilly turns her head and stares at Jen. "Yes" Tilly interrupts the teachers quotes, unable to forget the moment either, both women knew Jen had not meant the brush stroke with the question she had asked "I can feel it." Tilly adds and stares at Jen's lips longingly. The similarity of the day ended there, as their lips meet in unison, finally giving the memory its intended completion; only in their minds had the kiss found its truth that day.

Without breaking away, Jen guides the red-heads body to turn in the embrace with her right hand on her waist, her left hand slides up the teens neck pulling her closer into her body. Tilly's hands find their way to the teachers lower back, lifting the material slightly, to feel the skin beneath her finger.

With both their eyes closed, plus lost in each other, neither have noticed Ky's arrival home; or that she is standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame, watching them. The brunette slides the hand on Tilly's waist around to the front seeking out her jeans button; she unhooks the metal and lowers the fly.

ky coughs loudly at this point, to bring attention to her presence in the room; not wanting her friend or the situation to go any further. Both women spring back from the embrace in shock and Jen turns.

"Shit Ky...how long have you standing there" she gives her friend a scowl. Tilly turns suddenly, her back to the door, realising her trousers are undone still; her face beetroot with embarrassment.

"Oh don't fucking stop on my account girls. I might be straight but all artists can admire something beautiful when they see it." she states with a smile. Tilly turns back round, her clothes now fully adjusted, she bites her bottom lip in panic; did Ky know or had she just created trouble for Jen.

The dark-haired women senses Tilly's fear "It's ok, I know all about it." she adds with a wink. "and your right Jenovive...she is adorable." Tilly blushes again.


	23. Word game

**Well, it looks like we are going to be let down by the Jellyvison for a while. So, to my fellow authors...I hope you have your pens, keyboards, laptops ready...lets keep the love alive through literature. Cleo x**

* * *

ky walks towards Jens and hugs her tightly, the brunette instantly forgives her friends voyeuristic intrusion.

"I'm so Happy you came for the opening" Ky adds, kissing Jen on the cheek and spanking her on the bum. She notes Tilly's face at the movement, her eyebrows have furrowed; she is clearly unfamiliar with anyone else being physical with Jen.

"Jealous?" She asks in a playful way to the teen.

Tilly laughs "Should I be?" she asks it in jest, however, there is a grain of truth in every joke.

"Oh Abso-fucking-lutely! it's a truly creative emotion." Ky responds before kissing Tilly on the cheek and spanking her on the bum; mimicking her actions towards Jen to put Tilly's mind at rest "You know Miss Aythya Americana...come see this." the dark-haired artist grabs the teens hand and pulls her further into the room, selecting a near by painting, she places it on a nearby easel.

Tilly stands in awe of the piece in front of her, the paints and colours fuze in a state of emotional elegance; yet the painting shouts of a raw intensity not being heard. She has often discussed art with Jen. The teacher has an open-minded approach to all genres, however, her clear passion is deeply rooted in the Aesthetic Movement; Tilly's passion, however, is abstract expressionism. She cannot hide the clear veneration she has for the artist. She reaches out to the piece instinctively, she respectfully refrains from touching the artwork; although deep down she wants to caress the canvas.

"This is my Pure jealousy!" Ky comments, actually flattered by the reaction of the teen. "No emotion is truly negative if channeled productively." she adds.

"Thank you for inviting me" Tilly finally states, breaking from her creative trance. She turns to face both women "Your flat is amazing too" she adds.

"It's not mine. Its a friends." Ky responds.

"A friends?!" Jen scoffs, knowing the truth .

"Yes a friend... a friend with benefits" the artist replies with a playful smirk.

"Yeah, like a huge studio flat." the brunette retorts with jovial sarcasm.

ky shrugs her shoulder nonchalantly at Tilly; who is actually missing the sub text in the conversation. The artist has no guilt of sexual exchanges for comfort but feels the sudden need to justify her choice to the teen "He is holidaying in France for a month. he gave me the keys while my exhibition is here." she adds.

"What happens if the exhibition is extended and he comes home?" Tilly replies.

"Then we share little one." ky replies, tapping 'Tilly's nose and raising her eyebrows just in-case the teen has so far misunderstood the arrangement. She is kind of in awe of the teens innocence. The red-head has obviously been well raised, offered a welcome and homely start in life.

ky had been born in the city of London, not one of the nice tourist parts either; she was a 'latch key' kid; and had left at fifteen in a homeless swirl of bohemian culture. She had no regrets of any of her memories tho; or 'art supplies' as would often refer to her life experiences. She had learnt from a young age that relative trade got you a long way in the art community, a self-portrait for a night on the couch, if they like you, you get a week. If they really liked you, you could secure yourself a meal ticket, there was nothing seedy about it; she never did anything or anyone she did not want to.

"Anyway enough of this small talk." Ky announces "Miss Tillsberg. What Letter comes after S in the dictionary?

"T?" responds Tilly quickly.

"God, I'd fucking love one. Milk and two sugars, you ginger sex bomb." Ky concludes and Tilly laughs at her obvious defeat.

"Hey, she's my ginger sex bomb." Jen states and smiles warmly at the pair."I'll make it." she adds as Tilly walks by towards the kitchen.

"No, its ok...i want to. You guys catch up." Tilly responds before exiting the room.

Jen's gaze follows her lover walk across the room and leave; she still gets chills admiring Tilly's slender frame from a distance. She knows she has to convince her younger lover to enroll back at Hollyoaks, the teen future depends on it; yet, she is also extremely worried how she is going to resist touching her. Tilly's body has an uncontrollable effect on her own.

Luckily their acquaintance would be limited to the college hallways from the new term. The teen had taken Art only as an AS level complimentary option. Many of the brighter students took on one or more of these additional subjects in the first year to simple enhance their qualifications; adding extra UCAS points. However, the demanding workload of the second year made it impossible to study these further into a full A level; students were advised to concentrate only on the subjects that were required in year two.

The earlier thought of worry suddenly turns into sadness, she is actually going to miss the teenager being in her lesson, despite the obvious personal reasons; Jen also would miss her presence as a teacher; Tilly is clearly one of the most practically talented in the classroom and her intellectual insight into the theory far surpassed her peers.

She sighs, none of this would matter anyway, unless she could convince the teen to not throw her life away and retract her email to Keeler. She turns her attention back to Ky and smiles.

"How you feeling?" The dark-haired artist asks compassionately.

"Lost" replies Jen, knowing there is no point hiding the truth from Ky; who has always been able to read her like an open book.

"I can see why. if that help in any way." Ky responds. Externally the teen is naturally beautiful but it is something else that made her truly captivating to Ky. The red-head possessed a rare and intoxicating combination, worldly innocence yet a deeper connectivity to the soul; her maturity expressed itself without fear of judgment. Her sexuality, opinions and emotions were all displayed with confidence and strength; an attribute rarely shown at her age...if ever.

"No that doesn't help Ky." Jen responds but laughing at her friend. " What am I going to do?" she question, however, more as a statement of frustration.

"Have you told her yet?" the artist asks, referring to Jen's acceptance of the teaching post. Tilly had heard the last question having returned to the art studio unnoticed.

"Told me what?" the red-head quizzes, smiling at Ky. Jen, now used to lying on her feet due to recent events and pressures, quickly responds.

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise but ky has got us V.I.P tickets into her after party tonight at the exhibition." It is not a lie, even if it has been used as a distraction from the truth.

"Amazing!" replies Tilly, genuinely excited by the nights plans. She has never been in this close proximity to the art world before, she has never been to an exhibition opening; definitely never as a V.I.P guest of the artist. "Thank you for all this." she adds smiling at Ky.

"I forgot to ask if you wanted a drink?" Tilly asks Jen, reaching out and holding the brunette hand, the teacher pulls her hand away; the teen is now familiar with Jen's changing behavior and except the movement even if she is hurt by the rejection. The transition is witnessed by the observant artist, however, she decides to not comment; instead she tries to break the tension.

"Word game Miss Jenovive." Ky announces out loud. Jen turns and smiles at her friend.

"Oh dear." the brunette replies rolling her eyes. Tilly looks at them both perplexed.

"Ky has a word of the day" Jen answers to Tilly's expression. "She chooses a word she either likes the sound of or the meaning. Then attempts to use it within conversation during the day." the brunette continues.

"The rules of the game." Ky interrupts "All participants need to be present when the word is used but the conversation has to be with a complete stranger. Anyone of the players can join in the conversation with the stranger but their first sentence must include their own chosen word. The idea is to make one of your opponents laugh whilst staying completely serious and not letting on to the stranger they are a pawn in your game. The first person to laugh...Loses!" Ky announces with authority. "Are you in?" she asks Tilly.

"definitely" the teen replies with a giggle. "What happens if you lose?" she asks Ky with amusement.

"You have to make breakfast tomorrow morning for everyone!" answers Ky. Jen and Tilly both groan, neither are fond of cooking. "Ricochet!" she announces, letting the others know her word choice. "Tilly?"

"Um...I've always like the word exquisite. any good?" she replies in question.

"Perfect! and what about your word Jenitalia?" ky asks the teacher, receiving a slap from Jen for the pun.

"Ineffable." The brunette replies with a grin.

"Game on!" Ky replies. "Now where is that tea?" she adds exiting the room.

Jen and Tilly stare at each other, the teacher moves first, shuffling the teen against the door frame with her own body; they kiss each other affectionately.

"She really is amazing." Tilly says, totally blown away by Ky and more importantly by the feeling of another person openly approving of their relationship. "I'm so glad I've met her" she adds. Jen kisses up Tilly's elongated neck, causing the teen to giggle at the light tickling caress.

"Amazing huh?!" Jen finally replies between light kisses and holding firmly onto her lovers bum. "should I be jealous?" she asks jokingly to the red-head.

"oh abso-fucking-lutely, it's a truly creative emotion" Tilly responds with a grin before kissing Jen again. They both laugh at the impression; before breaking away to join the artist in the next room.


	24. The exhibition

Ky had kidnapped Tilly, they were both in her bedroom, after the teen had admitted to not packing anything of a V.I.P standard. Although Ky is much taller than the red-head they both have a similar body type; the artist is sure she can save the day with her wardrobe contents.

Jen has left them to get ready for the night alone, now stood in the kitchen sipping on wine, she looks dressed for a première in an elegant royal blue mini pini, the material lining the contours of her body; the square neck line exposing her collar-bone beautifully. She has her hair fixed up in a classic wavy updo, which accentuates her strong jaw line; her heavy fringe falling upon her big hazel eyes.

When Ky and Tilly finally emerge from the bedroom, the teens breath hitches at the sight of her lover standing in the Kitchen, she swallows hard unable to control the thoughts of desire coursing through her body; Jen has literally taken her breath away.

Jen turns and immediately catches the red-heads eyes, the teacher stares longingly at the younger women. "Wow" is all she can breathlessly whisper; Tilly looks stunningly elegant and beyond her years. She graces an emerald bubble halter neck, showcasing her dainty shoulders and majestic neck. She turns raising her eyebrows at Ky, in admiration at her lovers outfit, revealing her exposed flawless back, the material falling gently and suggestively upon her bum; revealing nothing but suggesting everything. Jen grips the table as the sight makes her lose her composure and her balance, she looks down embarrassed as she spots Ky smiling at her.

Maybe out of fear of smudging their make up or simply lost in awe of each others beauty, neither move to kiss each other; their eyes, however, flirt provocatively. Ky grabs three flutes and a bottle of champagne from the fridge; smiling silently at the speechless pair who are consumed by each other. It takes the pop of the cork to break them from their trance, Ky hands out flutes and pours generously.

"To my exhibition" Ky toasts.

"..And to many more to come." Jen joins in.

"Cheers" they all say in unison before clinking their glasses and laughing as Ky downs her champagne in one.

* * *

The exhibitions is packed, ky's extravagance for a change working in her favor; her reputation preceding her. The events hold three distinct areas:- sculpture, canvass and photography; Ky is adept in many art forms and expresses herself with all genres. All three women have made a big impact on the visitors in the room, finding themselves drawn into conversation and slowly separated from each other. Ky works the room like a true professional, Jen loses herself in the photography section and Tilly finds herself drawn once again to Ky's abstract expressionism.

Tilly is stood in a white room, the far wall covered with over a hundred pieces; it is a wall of pure emotional expression. A handsome stranger, who had been following her all evening, sees her standing alone. Making his move he hands the teen a glass of the complimentary champagne being offered by the passing waiter.

"Thank you." Tilly says accepting the glass from the attractive man beside her; before turning her attention back towards the wall.

"Do you live near here?" he asks the auburn beauty, playing hard to get in front of him.

"Not too far." Tilly response. "Do you know the artist? she asks trying to be polite.

"No, but I hear he is very talented." the man lies, clearly not here for the art; rather as an excuse to pull women. Tilly stifles a smirk. Ky walks by and sees Tilly being chatted up by the gentleman beside her, she signals Jen over to the room. Tilly smiles at Ky's arrival on the other side of the handsome stranger and Jen follows standing next to Tilly.

"What do you think of this one?" he asks the red-head, not at all discouraged from hitting on Tilly, despite the arrival of the others.

Tilly could not let this opportunity slip her by, as she suddenly remembers the rules of the word game. "I think the piece is truly exquisite." she replies, with commendable poise; much to Ky's amusement.

The artist clearly a professional at the game, steps up to the playing field, nodding and replying "yes, I agree..." Jen's expressive face as usual displays her inner struggle, this time against her laughter; luckily the stranger is distracted with ky's conversation. "I simple love here how it almost looks like the paint ricochet off of the canvas." she adds with complete calm.

Jen not one to be out done, composes herself and joins in the game "It's as if the artist's emotion was so ineffable, that art was the only way in which to express it." Jen says, in an obvious mock at Ky's often silly nature.

"hmmm yes, I completely agree." Tilly joins back in, nearly losing her cool at Jen's comment. "It has an essence of Jackson Pollock" Tilly continues, as adept in sarcasm as her short-haired opponent.

"oh yes absolutely." Ky fights back. "This entire wall is like a giant homage to Jackson...its like its just a whole load of pollocks." she adds.

That was it, Jen's suppressed laughter erupts into an unattractive snort and the man stares at her unimpressed before walking away.

"ha! well fucking played" Ky says turning to Tilly "Jen your shit at this game." she adds looking at the brunette and giggling.

"oi!" the brunette replies.

"no, she's right Jen you really are shit at it." Tilly adds playfully.

Jen throws back her head with a grin. "gawd! remind me why I let you two meet again." they all laugh. and Tilly smiles warmly at Jen.

The evening separates the three again, as they mix between the ebb and flow of curious art fanatics and socialites. Tilly had not spoken to Jen for over an hour, despite occasionally feeling soft fingers caress down her exposed back. When she finally finds her, the brunette is stood rather closely to a truly beautiful blond; who's hand is constantly touching Jens arm in a flirtatious conversation. Tilly cannot help the jealous pang that erupts in her stomach and she storms over to the pair.

The red-head stokes Jens arm and smiles "I've been looking for you." she adds.

"Oh hi." Jen responds coldly. "um this is my friend from uni...Tilly." she says introducing the teen to the stranger.

Already overcome with jealousy, the introduction just bruises her pride further; there is no reason for Jen to lie in their current environment. "Whatever, Jen!" she announces and storms off. Jen makes apologies to the women and follows the teen.

"What are you playing at? Jen asks grabbing her arm. "your embarrassing me and yourself." she continues.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you. No wonder you introduced me as a 'friend' to a stranger." Tilly replies angrily.

"Well, what am i supposed to introduce you as!" Jen replies coldly. Tilly's hurt ripples through her face but anger erupts in the place of sorrow. "Fuck you Jen." she adds before turning and storming through the exhibition. She feels an idiot for believing things would be any different here, no-one knew them and they were no longer teacher and pupil anyway. She begins to believe that the secrecy in Hollyoaks is just a convenient excuse for the teacher to have casual sex. She storms out of the building and does not look back.

Jen walks toward Ky, who had witnessed the entire situation.

"That's the problem with dating teenagers...they can be so childish." Jen announces walking beside her friend and picking up a champagne flute.

"If you stop treating her like a child, then maybe she would stop acting like one." ky responds not looking at Jen.

"I haven't done anything wrong?" Jen replies indignantly.

"Forget it." Ky responds, she did not want to cause a scene, plus she is not usually one to behave negatively, especially to a friend.

"No ky. it's not like you to hold back" now angry at the artists objection to her actions. "if you have something to say, then say it!" she adds bitterly.

"Fine!" ky responds, putting her glass down and pulling Jen to the side of the room to offer them some privacy. "I watched you seduce her in my studio earlier today. Like the equal she deserves to be; you practically dissolved into each other...it was real and pure." she adds

"So?" Jen replies sternly, not seeing the point behind the comments.

"Yet fifteen minutes later you practically flinch at her touch..why? coz I was in the room and I even approve, god knows how you treat her back in Hollyoaks when in public. or do you simple dismiss her; like you did just then." the artist questions in a loud whisper.

Jen stands in shock and anger at her friend "ky, it's not like that!" she replies annoyed, the artist rarely disapproves of anything.

"What is it like then huh? quick fuck when the curtains are closed. Then the cold shoulder in the clear light of day!" Ky responds sarcastically.

"She accepted the consequences...she knows what this is?" Jen replies defensively.

"Yeah she may well logically accept all of this. Now ask her heart the same question? she is only accepting the 'consequence' because she loves you too fucking much to leave you. Do you think she would stick around and open herself up to hurt like this...for a grope with teacher. " the artist replies.

"listen ky..." Jen interrupts in a rage.

"No! you listen. your silly rules and behavior isn't fucking protecting her from falling in love with you Jen. She is in love with you DESPITE your behavior." She laughs out of frustration not humor, she is not angry at her friend, merely concerned. "Do you even know what you have Jen? Do you know what they call it, when someone loves you regardless of your weaknesses?"

Jen stares at the dark-haired artist, anger and upset spreading across her face. She is in too negative a mood to see ky's message as anything but an attack. This whole situation is hard, did no one else see the complications and turmoil she is being put through; she is fighting a losing battle with her mixed emotions.

"This isn't easy you know?" she replies, hurting at her friends approach.

"love never is!" ky replies matter of fact, not giving into Jen's self-pity. She wants to hold her friend and comfort her but knows this is one of those rare occasions, when a tough approach is needed to show that you really care.

"urgh!" Jen announces in frustration "How would you know?" she adds bitterly through clenched teeth, metaphorically throwing her toys out of the pram; more than aware her attitude is mimicking Tilly's earlier behavior.

"Now who's being childish" ky responds calmly. Jen knows she is right, however, needs air to calm down; she storms from the room and stumbles onto the street. The cold air hitting her instantly; her thoughts suddenly turn to Tilly, she is all alone out here in the cold and dark.

Tilly contemplates aimlessly walking into the vastness of Chester, with the thought that if anything happened to her, it would destroy Jen. Knowing this, however, makes her acknowledge that the teacher did care deeply for her well-being if nothing else. Also out on the street her outfit is gaining far too much unwanted attention from local men frequenting the bars. Feeling vulnerable, she remembers Ky's key system and heads back to the studio apartment to change.**  
**

Jen's thought process follows a similar pattern to her younger lover's and she returns to the flat, to change into something warm and swap her shoes for trainers; she would be able to cover more ground that way. When she walks into the bedroom, Tilly refuses to acknowledge her arrival; she continues to park her bag determined to leave.**  
**

"Tilly..?" Jen speaks breaking the silence, trying to get the teen to acknowledge her.

"Don't Jen..." Tilly responds, looking up briefly before tears force her to look down again; She continues to pack.

"I'm sorry." Jen answers, she knows no other words will work.

"I can't do this Jen. I was wrong, I want more, I need more. I can't do this. and like you said If i can't then I should just walk away...so I am." Tilly responds through sobs, as she tries to distract herself with packing.

Jen walks across the room and places her hand on the holdall, stopping the teens movements "Please don't go." she adds desperately.

"Jen, move." Tilly asks sternly.

"No!I'm not letting you leave me." Jen responds, her own tears now forming.

"Fine I don't need my clothes anyway." Tilly announces and walks past Jen, pacing towards the bedroom door. She suddenly feel arms wrap around her body; she struggles but is pulled backwards into Jen body. They stumble, the teacher's back hits the wardrobe behind her, she refuses to let go of the teen and they slide down the surface together in a heap on the floor. Jen rests backwards on the wooden furniture, The red-head has fallen in a sitting position between her legs, she wraps her arms tighter around the teen and pulls Tilly's back into her chest.

"Please, don't leave me." she adds as tears roll down her cheeks. "I want you" she adds.

"Don't lie to me Jen." Tilly snaps, trying to struggle free again.

"I'm not lying Tilly" she adds crying. "I need you" Her sobs are so heavy, Tilly can feel Jens chest erratically heaving fighting for breath. The distress of her lover, causes her resolve to crumble, she sinks into Jen and allows her own body to break into sorrow. She turns in Jens arms and embraces the teacher tightly, she burys her face into Jens neck, as both women cry uncontrollably.

Neither age or experience could of prepared anyone for the intense emotions that were causing both the women so much turmoil. They stay holding each other until their tears dry; the teen then lowers her arms but remains curled up between Jens legs and leaning sideways onto the teachers chest. Jen cradles Tilly in her arms, stroking her hair and face to sooth away the sadness. Some more time passes before Jen finally speaks.

"Are we o.k?" She asks looking down at Tilly. "I mean I know it's not but are you staying?" She adds. Tilly nods. "I'm going to go fetch us a drink o.k?" she continues. The teen nods again and they both stand, Jen walks Tilly to the bed and sits her on the edge. "Wait here. I wont be long." She leans forward and Tilly accepts her lips upon her own; then watches her lover leave the room, the silence engulfs her; as she suddenly feels alone.

Jen walks across the kitchen as Ky arrives through the front door; neither of them talk. It is clear that both women are now calm. however, the awkward atmosphere makes them both terse. Jen takes a nearby glass and begins to pour wine into it as she silently ignores her friend. She lifts it, tasting to see if the earlier opened bottle is still drinkable.

"Maybe you would prefer a blackcurrant juice box?" The dark-haired artist finally says breaking the atmosphere with characteristic sarcasm.

"Damn it Ky! the last thing I need is your facetiousness right now." Jen retorts sharply and brings the glass down onto the work top in frustration; she handles the glass too heavily and the stem snaps on the side, breaking it. ky picks up the nearest cup from the draining board and slings it across the counter at the wall, as it shatters inches from Jen, the teacher shoots a scowl of shock at her friend.

"What the hell are doing?" Jen shouts eyes wide.

"Sorry I though it was a game...this is fun, lets see if I've got any plates to smash as well." Ky replies trying to jokingly express to Jen that she no longer wants to fight.

Jen laughs finally, her anger melting. "Do you take anything seriously?" she adds.

"Yes, especially you. my mascara panda" Ky adds noting Jen's tear-stained face and bringing her into a hug. "We just prioritize our seriousness differently. I think me and your young lover are very much the same in that way...I guess that's why you love us both so much." Jen smiles.

"I'm sorry." Jen replies both verbally and with her dark hazels eyes.

"Me too" Ky answers "Is she here?"

"Yes." Jen responds, reduced to a one word answer at the thought of Tilly, the sorrow resurfacing. Ky can see the pain on her friends face and takes that as her sign to remove herself from the situation; so Jen can deal with her heart.

"Well, I only came back to check on you. I'm going back to my party. It is about to start and I am after all the guest of honor" She sees Jen's face drop in guilt. "Don't you Fucking dare!...you make use of the empty flat. There will always be party's...she is more important tonight." Jen smiles at her beautiful friend, as they part; ky walking to the front door and the teacher back towards the bedroom; back towards Tilly.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." ky announces turning in the door frame.

"Well, that doesn't leave much!" Jen jest back with a chuckle.

She winks "and if I don't hear a choir of screams coming from the room...im going to waltz in and show you how its fucking done." She adds.

"Trust me...that wont be necessary." Jen replies with a huge grin and waving to her friend, before turning towards the bedroom door; nervous apprehension overwhelming her body. Re-entering the bedroom, she closes the door behind herself, and leans her back against it; emotionally exhausted from the nights chaos. Tilly walks around the bed, it's only then Jen realises she has returned without drinks; luckily Tilly had heard Ky's arrival home.

"Is she o.k?" Tilly asks the brunette, momentarily putting aside her own feelings, out of respect and concern for the artist.

Jen nods "She's gone...the party is starting." Jen answers with a warm smile to hide the disappointment she feels for letting Ky down.

"Should we go back too?" Tilly asks, also worried about Ky. Jen shakes her head.

" I feel bad. I'm o.k...I can go to the party. I promise I won't cause a scene." Tilly answers suddenly realizing, now she has calmed down, that their fight has ruined the evenings plans.

"Shhhh" interrupt Jen, letting Tilly know everything will be fine, she also has no intention of letting either of them leave the bedroom.

Tilly stares motionless in the room and her lovers presence. She can see the hunger in the teachers eyes, her resistance is weak from the earlier battle; she cannot fight her want for Jen...her need for Jen. The brunette slowly walks forward and places one hand on her lovers face, she leans in and places a soft kiss on the opposite cheek.

"look at me" The teacher orders gently. Tilly does not move, in defiance of Jen and her demand.

"Tilly look at me...please" Jen urges again, she closes the gap between their bodies, pressing her hips against the teens; their faces separated only by a few inches.

Tilly sighs, she is terrified of being hurt. However, she lifts her eyes hopelessly addicted to the pain. Jen stares deep into her mind, like she is stealing her thought process, a wave of understanding washing over her face as if she is silently communicating with the teens soul.

"Let me make love to you" She finally says to her younger lover.

Tilly closes her eyes and swallows, no amount of will power will save her, her body is already trembling beneath Jen's gaze. She nods.


	25. Pillow talk

**Sorry for delay...I hope its worth the wait. Thank you again for all of your comments please keep leaving them; they make me smile :o) Cleo xx**

* * *

At the exhibition, Jen had not been able to see beyond the limitations of the circumstance. None of her actions had come from a truly selfish place, she simply wanted to protect their love; it belonged to them.

After the arguments, especially with Ky, she finally acknowledges that her hypocritical behavior has given mixed signals once again. She had on numerous occasions, ran her fingers seductively across Tilly's skin, where her dress had allowed a window of perfection during the exhibition. However, the teen had simply said 'I've been looking for you' and in a panic she had denied their relationship; worse to a complete stranger.

The thought hurt her, as much as the action, had evidently hurt Tilly. She remembers the excitement she had felt traveling to Ky's, knowing she could be open with her lover in public. In theory Jen dreamed of holding her hand and introducing her as her partner; it seemed in practice she was more of a coward.

Now here, they were again safe from the public eye, and Jen is already trying to seduce her. Ky had been right, she openly loved Tilly...only when they were alone. She would make the changes needed tomorrow; tonight, however, she merely needs to make amends.

She unclasp the material around Tilly's neck, the dress falls effortlessly to the floor; leaving the teen stood in just a pair of green laced knickers. No bra had been required at the opening, a strap would have ruined the backless design, plus the dress offered ample support for Tilly's breast; they were youthfully pert. The teacher senses nervousness coming from her usually confident and often dominate lover; she pulls Tilly into an embrace.

"Do you trust me? she asks, terrified that tonight's rejection may have been one to many for her sensitive teen. "Do you forgive me?" she continues.

Tilly's head remains lowered. She had been naked in front of Jen before, however, tonight she felt very vulnerable and exposed. She did of course forgive the brunette; yet, she did not know how to overcome the fear of opening up to simply be hurt again. She may well have been sexually free with Jen from the start, it was because she felt safe; however, she is actually naturally reserved and far from promiscuous. Perhaps the older women did not care about the emotional impact behind the act? Tilly's body, however, connected with Jen through the intensity of her feelings, lust was purely the fuel. Jen asked to make love to her tonight, did she mean it? Was there indeed more than lust behind the teachers caressing touch?

"I'm just scared" Tilly finally confesses.

"I'm doing everything all wrong" Jen announces, shifting backwards.

Tilly looks up, a pang of guilt spreading across her face; she is more than aware of the pressure Jen is under. Tilly is usually logical to a fault, she knows deep down, the teacher is risking the world to even be seen with her in a public place. She knows it is her stubborn heart that is demanding more from the situation; wishing Jen would be consistent.

"No, you're not. We are both making mistakes. We are both confused how to act and where we stand. we need to get away from everything so desperately." Tilly replies eventually. It is society that comes between them, alone they are perfect. Tilly is mad at the world, not Jen: she only wishes her lover had her strength. Jen's weakness had annoyed her tonight "This is the last time I'm going to fight for us tho Jen." she concludes. She did not need to say anymore, Jen understood. "Now kiss me and remind me why I stayed" She adds.

Jen knew Tilly was serious, this is her last chance; one more screw up and Tilly would walk away for good. No explanation would save them. Tilly with her feline prowess had already exhausted six of her lives in pursuit of Jen...she only had one heart left. Tonight the teacher would have to proof she deserved to have it belong to her. Tilly needed an answer...Was this love or just a game?

Jen's confidence is stripped, Tilly senses the switch; she is given the chance to take control of the teacher. She roughly tugs down Jen's dress and swiftly unfastened her bra; both garments lie in a heap around Jen's feet. She moves backwards resting on the bedside cabinet, hooking two fingers into the brunettes pant line, she pulls Jen towards her. Her seating position unbalancing the height ratio, Tilly's eyes are now level with the teachers chest. She opens her knees wide, places her hands on Jen's bum and pulls her lover between her legs; burying her face in Jen's breast in the process.

Jen grips the back of Tilly head with both hands as she feels the teen take one of her nipples in her teeth, wandering hands massage her bum; as her lover sucks hard on her breast, the nipple still clenched securely in her teeth. The sensation on such a sensitive area boarders between pleasure and pain. Tilly bites harder, causing the teacher to call out, Tilly does not let go and simple rolls her gaze up to meet the brunette's stare; Jen realizes she is being punished. She moves her hands to the cabinet for support. Tilly may have forgiven her, backing down, yet, it is clear she is not going down without a fight..literally. The pun make Jen laugh, which is a mistake; Tilly switches breast and clamps down even harder on the other nipple.

"ok, ok" Jen finally announces. squeezing Tilly's jaw to force it open.

The teacher grabs Tilly's hand and pulls her up from the cabinet "Lie with me, lets talk" she adds, they both climb on to the bed; lying side by side with their shoulders propped up by pillows. They allow their legs to intertwine, their free hand joins and their finger wrestle together playfully.

"I may have a high sex drive Tilly but I'm not a man...lust does not control my actions." Jen finally speaks, letting the teen know she understands why she is being punished; Tilly needs to know Jen's sexual motives and inner feelings. "but unfortunately neither does my head, when your involved." she sighs, however, gives the teen a goofy wide mouth grin; letting Tilly know she means this more in jest than seriousness. Three words is all it would take for her to convince her younger lover, however, she is unable to say them; taking the job would seem so big a betrayal.

She knew she needed to tell her about college, tonight would not be sensible, they had already both been through too much already; plus the teen would surely leave without a way or means to get home. However, Tilly did deserve a window into her far too secretive mind, letting her guards down for the first time; showing her lover just how weak and scared she has become too. She takes a deep breath and open her heart; finally attempting to talk.

"Since the day of the college fire, my whole life has been upside down. I've always prided myself on my moral objectively. but in that moment I split into two people." she looks at their moving fingers reminiscing the chaotic scene outside the college, billowing smoke circling the mingling thrill induced teens; her first day offering an omen of the future. She returns her gaze to Tilly "One side of me was so angry and wanted nothing to do with you or the situation." Tilly laughs "It's not funny, I still can't believe you lied to me about being at Uni." she adds with a mock scowl.

Tilly smiles "I guess, I just really wished at that point I was Jen. You were gorgeous, I would've lied to a priest" she responds. Jen giggles, deep down glad the teen had lied; it had led to a kiss.

"but the new second side of me..." she pauses and rubs her face, as if the memory is hard for her to confess. Tilly waits patiently knowing Jen needs to talk, she is secretly reveling in this rare openness from her lover. "The other side was so terrified you were hurt and I wanted so desperately to hold you." she laughs "You were stood there with your charcoal face staring so guiltily at me..." she sighs "..but you still looked so breath takingly beautiful" she kisses the teens shoulder. Tilly strokes her hair, silently urging her lover to continue.

Jen's face smiles at further memory "Gawd and bloody Keeler was telling me to take you to the hospital... I just froze." she giggles again but further thoughts cause her smile to slip, she looks up into Tilly's eyes "The entire ambulance trip was a silent hell...and sat outside your room, I wanted to just rush in, hold your face in my hands and tell you...you weren't alone and I wasn't mad at you." she pauses and looks away again "but I couldn't and I wasn't allowed to feel. You were a pupil and a stranger but...shit Tilly you had bewitched me that day on Crosby beach. You were right it didn't change how I felt. but in that moment I wanted so desperately not to feel that way." Jen touches her mouth, as if searching for the permanent mark, that Tilly's lips had left on hers that day among the Gormleys.

"Actually, no." she laughs breaking from her reverie "I think I was under your spell from the moment you told me I had a superiority complex at your art exhibition." she smiles and lift up from the bed in an animated theatrical show "yes its mine...and the superiority complex is definitely yours!" She continues in an exaggerated impersonation of Tilly. The teen slaps her on the arm as Jen buries her head in the pillow laughing. Jen sighs again and rolls onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. Tilly is starting to understand why the teacher finds it so hard to communicate her emotions; they really were all other the place.

"And I'm scared...I'm so scared...that if I give into this...I'll lose everything else and destroy both our lives." She turns her head to look up at the red-head " You're so brave and strong Tilly, but I'm not...I'm just a confused coward. I have to fit into their rules and regulation, it's part of being an adult. When we are in public I have to follow their rules and conform but its fake...its all a façade. since I met you...In your arms is the only place I feel whole and when we're alone..."

"It's the only time you can be yourself." Tilly completes her sentence, moving down the bed and positioning herself onto of the teacher; kissing her compassionately. The teen had heard enough, Jen had earned her kiss "Tonight...we're alone. tonight I'm yours." she adds. leaning down and kissing Jen again passionately on her reciprocating lips.

"I'm usually so together and in control...then you look at me and a fall to pieces. Just one look Tilly. Tonight when I saw you in that dress , when I first saw you, I was so afraid that if I kissed you, I would tear it off your body and take you on the worktop" Jen replies.

"I've wanted you since the moment I saw you standing in the kitchen. I took all my strength just to keep breathing." Tilly responds.

Jen wraps her arms around the younger woman's body and rolls them over on the bed. She hovers over Tilly's face, her breathing deep and long, already in the start of a pant. She subconsciously licks and sucks her own lips, as her eyes dance flirtatious between the teens soulful emerald eyes and her beckoning rose pink lips. She speaks in a breathless whisper, her own lips so close to Tilly, the teen can almost taste the words "god, what are you doing to me, Tilly."

"Show me." Tilly replies. Jen attempts to move her hands "No, don't move." the teen continues and Holds Jen's face in her hands, to stop her kissing her. The brunette stares longingly into her eyes "Give in Jen. feel it" the older woman closes her eyes "No, open them. You don't get to run away anymore. " Tilly continues,

Jen feels helpless, lost in Tilly's gaze, she lets go of her restraint and her body relaxes into the teens, their warm bare skins presses together. Her lover holds her face steady between her hands. Her breathing rasps, as a wave of sensation washes over her body, she gasps as all the hairs on her body stand on end. She swallows hard as her heart starts racing, in her collapsing chest; struggling with her labored breaths. Her mind goes blank, her body trembles upon the teen, she unexpectedly contracts into an orgasm; Tilly feels the teachers thick warm fluid upon her thigh.

"Now, you know why I fight for you." Tilly whispers. Jen catches her breath and silently tries to fathom at what point in their relationship had she become the pupil.

Regaining her composure, their breath mix into one another heavily. "I want you to turn over" she tells Tilly. She wants to consume Tilly completely but first she needs to hide her tears, she is so overwhelmed. She trails kisses down the teens back.

* * *

Tilly opens her eyes, she quickly shuts them, as a bright light penetrates her retinas; the curtains have been left partially open letting in the morning sun. She goes to close them, however, an arm grabs her around the waist ; she is pulled back onto the bed.

"Where do you think your going" Jen adds, giggling as she nuzzles the teens neck with her nose and lips. Tilly's turns in her embrace. "You were incredible last night." Jen adds stoking the teens face with the back of her hand.

"Me?" Tilly responds in astonishment "I was just trying to keep up with you, Jen" she continues and sighs. She blushes remembering the night they have just shared, she buries her head in embarrassment; Jen giggle and strokes for hair.

"It was a lot of firsts for me too " Jen reassures her. She understands the red-heads embarrassment. If she had experienced, at seventeen, the level of intense intimacy they had shared last night, she would have run a mile. The arguments that had dominated the night before and broken down many of the barriers that each of the women had placed between themselves. Jen had not held back the love for her younger lover, consuming her completely. Tilly had reciprocated, her growing doubts and insecurities temporarily bated, by Jen's confession of her true feelings.

Thinking back to the first time Tilly had touched her intimately, on the teens bed, Jen knew it was her first time; yet, not even then had it shown . The truth is, Tilly could have simple breathed on her and her body would have exploded into ecstasy; she is sure the teenager had no idea the sexual power she had over her.

"I have to go" Jen finally announces. "I do believe, as the clear loser of the word game. I have to go buy breakfast." She states rolling her eyes and rising from the bed to dress. Tilly copies and they both walk out of the bedroom hand in hand towards the kitchen.

"Good Morning" announces an enthusiastic Ky, who had already put the coffee pot on; she is always as early a riser as the teacher.

"Yes it is." replies Jen with a huge grin at her friend, she turns, kisses Tilly in a blatant display of public affection; before exiting the flat.

Tilly moves to the breakfast counter, pulling herself up onto the stool, the whole time a huge smile plastered on her face; much to Ky's amusement.

"I'm really sorry about last night. I really didn't plan to run out and miss your V.I.P party. I know it was immature." Tilly says sheepish to Ky.

"Did she say that?" the artist replies.

"No, she didn't have too, the face said all." Tilly responds giggling.

"Is she always like that" Ky continues, mocking her friend playfully.

"ha yeah." Tilly jests back. She loves Ky's character, it is polar opposite to Jen; well maybe not so much this weekend. The dark-haired artist has a way of bringing out the playful softer side of her lover. She like Jen around ky, the artist brought out the best in the brunette; the creative zestful Jen. The one she had met first, the strong and opinionated art critic; that had teased her for taking offense at her work. Their secret affair really had stripped Jen of her confident demeanor, Tilly felt slightly guilty she had caused this; especially after the teachers pillow talk last night.

"What was she like...before teaching? Tilly asks, excepting a coffee from Ky.

"Before teaching? or before you? " the artist quizzes back, with a rise of the eyebrow, and a smile. You really could not hide anything from Ky.

"I hear you've quit college. So what are you going to do?" Ky asks taking a bias stance on the topic. Tilly smiles and shrugs.

"It's a great feeling isn't it. Not having a fucking clue what you are gonna do next?" Tilly grins and nods enthusiastically. However, she doesn't agree, spontaneous is not something the teen likes; she mush prefers order. Had the affair changed her too.

"ha! Now I'm fucking jealous." Ky continues.

"You're such a talented artist." Tilly response, genuinely in awe of the work she had seen last night.

"and one day you'll be an amazing doctor Tilly." She leans forward and smiles at the teen. "you know if I had your smarts, I wouldn't have wasted my time running away. Jen wont let that happen either." she pauses tapping her nose "So whatever it is you've got planned.." Tilly looks up shocked but she knows there is no point denying it. "..it's not going to work." ky adds.

"I'm going to tell you something very important. It wont make any sense to you right now but remember what I tell you. o.k?" the artist says in a rare moment of seriousness.

"No matter what happens. Fight! you're the only one with the strength. I have something for you." she disappears into her bedroom and returns with a book.

"No Exit" Tilly reads the title not recognizing it.

"Put it in your bag now, something makes me believe you will find this interesting soon. This conversation never happened" Ky adds and watches Tilly walk to the bedroom to store the book. The born psychologist is always five steps ahead, she is not prepared to let Tilly battle this alone; and damned if she lets Babylon take this love from her friend.

Jen soon returns with a couple of bag of shopping and pastries from the local bakery, she empties the content on the table; as ky fetches plates and cutlery.

"I thought the loser was supposed to cook breakfast." Tilly jokes noticing the pastries.

"Trust me this is safer." Ky joins in teasing Jen.

"Hey, I'm a great cook." the brunette adds. Ky shakes her head at the teen behind Jen's back. Tilly laughs, causing the teacher to turn and slap her friend on the arm jokingly. They all sit and tuck into the breakfast laid out in front of them, ky puts a pot of coffee on the table for re-fills.

"You know if you say both your names together it sounds like a word " Ky announces, to the love sick pair "JenTilly they kissed each other in the middle of my art studio." she states in a jovial voice. Jen raises her eyebrows, jokingly unimpressed at her friends teasing.

"A poet and an artist." Tilly encourages, playfully.

"What can I say I'm just an endless fucking pit of talent." Ky answers mocking herself, more than aware of her limitations. Jen rips off a piece of her croissant and tosses it at Ky's head.

"oh no you didn't just start a food war" before Jen can move jam hits her face, flung from a teaspoon by the dark-haired artist. "Ha what a fucking shot" ky adds.

Tilly laughs loudly her nose crinkling up, at the sight of the teachers jam covered face. She points to her own cheek "you've...um...got something on your face Jen." she adds with a sarcastic smile.

"oh really" Jen adds, signally Ky secretly with a head nod. "Think that's funny do you!" she adds with a mock serious expression on her face.

"yep!" Tilly answers with a further giggle. The teen, distracted by the banter, had not noticed Ky creeping up behind her. The artist grabs Tilly elbows and hold her in position. "Nooooo!" Tilly screams in shock

"Thank you Miss Roberts" Jen adds standing with a pot of chocolate spread in her hand. She dips her forefinger into the jar and spreads it smoothly down the middle of Tilly's face; as the teen squeals and wriggles in protest. Jen returns her finger to the pot but this time sucks the chocolate from her own finger "Your right! that is funny." she adds.

"Truce!" Tilly yells. Ky releases her from her grip; Tilly shoots them both a playful pout.

"I don't want you two to leave." ky announces sitting back down.

Tilly shakes her head and sticks out her lower lip in a sad face.

"unfortunately, I have to get Tilly home today." Jen answers.

"Not straight away tho." Tilly pleads

"No but I have a surprise visit planned for today. so we have to leave soon." Tilly smiles excitedly. "First tho I have an overwhelming urge to do something." Jen stands and seductively licks the chocolate from Tilly's nose. "mmm that's better."

"Get a room you two" mocks Ky. genuinely pleased at the sight of the adorable pair.

"How about instead of a room...we get a shower. before we head off?" Jen asks the teen licking more chocolate from her face. Tilly nods as Jen takes her hand and drags her giggling to the bathroom. Tilly turns and silently mouths 'thank you' to Ky, before following her lover through.


	26. Now Here

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. Again I apologize for the delay, very busy at work at the mo; also I apologize if the standard isn't great. Please continue to leave comments, they are the fuel that keeps me writing. Cleo x**

A couple of hours later Jen emerges in search of Ky, leaving Tilly in the bedroom to dry her hair and pack. She finds the enigmatic artist, lost in art, in her studio.

"Any hot water left?" ky jests, looking up from her canvas. Jen smiles and walks towards her friend to admire the unfinished creation. She stands behind her and rests her chin on the artist shoulder.

"How was the party?" She asks in a cute voice.

"Orgasmic" Ky replies, turning in the embrace and thrusting into Jen's hips playfully.

"Oh dear...whats his name?" Jen quizzes, giggling at her friend.

"Ricco...barely spoke a word of English. I fell completely head over heels in bed with him." Ky responds, putting her paint brush down and wiping her paint covered hands."Anyway enough about my night. spill. how was it?" ky adds.

"Bitter sweet." Jen replies with a sigh, there is no other way to describe her relationship with Tilly; with every ounce of pleasure...comes an ounce of pain.

"Pull not our heart-strings thus; they crack, they break. For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo." ky quotes Shakespeare in ode to the star-crossed lovers. Jen hugs her "I'm scared" she says still tight in the embrace.

"Whatever happens. I'm here always." ky replies breaking from the embrace and winking at the brunette "Well...not literally here. I mean who ever knows where ill fucking be." she adds laughing.

"Well modern technology bridges the gap these days" Jen replies with a smile "Thank you." she adds with sincere eyes; truly grateful for all her friend has done. Tilly arrives before ky can reply.

"I'm packed" Tilly announces as she enters, she spots ky's new work in progress "Whats this?" she ask admiring the new emotion forming across the canvas.

"Ricco!" ky replies with a smile. Tilly looks at Jen and raises one eyebrow.

"Don't ask" Jen replies laughing and shaking her head.

The two women pack up the car, say their heart-felt goodbyes; then promise to visit Ky soon; where ever that may be. The artist waves enthusiastically as the jeep heads off down the road, she is genuinely sad to see the couple leave; and deeply concerned about their future.

Despite Her excitement Tilly had not questioned their direction, however, logic told her she is being whisked back to the Gormleys high tide; her face lights up as she sees the first sign for Crosby beach. She squeals at Jen, who smiles warmly back; internally as excited as her younger lover. Neither had revisited the beach since their time here together; those month before; as perfect strangers.

Tilly rushes across the beach full of energy, Jen follows walking slowly, wanting to take in the view of her lover with the scenic back drop; adorned with Antony Gormley's cast iron figures. She watches the teen dance with the waves; as if Tilly is teasing them; like the title of the art work, this had become another place for Jen entirely. Coming together now, after a return to the place of their first kiss, heightened the evolution of their relationship. She has gone beyond any chance of turning around, there is no going back for her; the innocence of their encounter that day had been washed away and lost at sea.

Jen remembers reading that the piece is thought to represent the sadness of emigration, leaving your homeland, yet looking forward to the horizon for a new start in a new place; this is further symbolization of the desperate need she felt to separate from her current world. However, she could not leave without Tilly; watching her now just made her want her lover more.

Her thoughts led to a yearning to be intimate with the teen. However, with nowhere to go, her mind drifted back to teenage hood. Home belonged to your parents and money was not being earned, like most teenagers who dated, Jen's memory consists of park hangouts and walking aimlessly through town holding hands. Her mind slips back to Jimmy Ellroy.

Jimmy had been her first real boyfriend, she had just turned fourteen, he was sixteen. She remembers coming to meet him friday nights,to sit on the stone wall of the local pub; you were too young to get in but could hear the music from the car park. A bottle of 20/20 or White lightning would get passed around, the boys getting more disruptive as the night went on; the girls faking drunkenness to catch their eyes.

Jimmy had bad acne and a train tracked mouth full of metal, but he had older brothers which meant he was cool; it also meant he often had alcohol and cigarettes. Jen hated his B&H breath, heightened by the fact he thought kissing was shoving his tongue down her throat in a saliva induced frenzy. It was strange to think that her own, extremely experienced lover, is only a year older than he was then.

"What you thinking about?" Tilly interrupts, returning to Jen's side.

"Jimmy Ellroy" Jen answers not fully focused.

"Oh really?" Tilly jokes in mock jealousy. "Do I need to fight him for you?" she adds giggling.

"Actually , you should probably thank him." Jen replies laughing. "I think he may have turned me." she adds, smiling at Tilly and Kissing her. The teen turns into her body and massages the brunette's lips gently with her own; reminding Jen how someone should be kissed. It lacked the anticipation of their first kiss here, the passion and love now far greater exceeding the act. The beach visit has been a nice de-tour, yet, in their current embrace it disappeared; It no longer mattered where they were. Jen realising that having nowhere to go is irrelevant, when they come together, everything else simply fades; the nowhere becoming now here.

"I'm going to take you for a meal." Jen announces to her lover smiling. Tilly looks at her questioningly, knowing they cannot afford such a luxury. "It's extremely posh and the seats are already booked." Jen continues, she grabs Tilly's hand and drags her up the sand dune towards the seafront shops; they finally stop and Jen passes the teen a menu.

"Wow this is posh" Tilly responds with dry wit to her lover.

"Only the best for my girl" Jen replies continuing the role play. Tilly blushes as the weather aged woman serving pulls an unimpressed pout to her colleague. Tilly is unsure if the waitress is responding negatively to their relationship or their shameless sarcasm. Besides Jen has just called her 'my girl' and in public, it would take a lot to knock the smile from her face.

Tilly cocks her shoulder back to show her confidence and continues the game "My french is a little rusty." she jest reading the laminated menu. "I think I'll have...the cornet de frites à la sauce tomate" she adds.

"Excellent choice. I think ill have the same." replies Jen with a grin. She turns to the waitress "Two cones of chips and tomato sauce please." she asks politely.

"une bouteille d'eau." Tilly interrupts.

"oh and a bottle of water please" Jen asks to the unimpressed women.

"Four pound please Love" The cashier asks, as her colleague hands Tilly the cones. "Sauce is on the table to the left." she adds pointing to a silver fold out table, with plastic bottles of sauce, sugar sachets and a carton of UHT milk.

Jen leads Tilly to a near by bench, that looks upon the beach "Best seats in the house, with a sea view." she adds, before snuggling up to the giggling teen. They link arms, Tilly leans her head on Jen's shoulder.

"Thank you. This is perfect." Tilly says after a moment of contented silence.

"So are you." Jen replies with a warm closed mouth smile, before kissing the top of Tilly's head.

After they have finished their food, the pair walk hand in hand along the beach, the sun is lower now and it casts a beautiful glow across the shore.

"You know, you said you would talk about quitting college." Jen states to Tilly, the teen sighs. "I just want you to clearly think about this, I don't want you to give up your dreams of becoming a Doctor." She adds.

"That's the thing Jen. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm not saying I won't do my A levels, I just need a break to think." Tilly answers.

"What is there to think about?" Jen responds.

"For one my sciences. You know I have been unhappy with it for a while but without that I might as well say goodbye to being a Doctor." Tilly replies, a pensive look spreading across her face. She knew she had quit on a spontaneous romantic whim, however, her future plans and aims in life had become so unclear and blurred recently.

"Sometimes you get an idea in your head and you spend so long focusing on it...that you forget what is really important." Tilly continues.

"Whats more important than your dream?" Jen replies.

"Working out if it is my dream or my parents. Then finding out what would truly make me happy." the teen had not really voiced these concerns to anyone before. Her parents had never forced her into anything, however, she wonders how much of her pursuit of medicine had been about her trying to please them.

"Do you still want to be a Doctor?" Jen quizzes.

"Potentially. But like I said I need to think it through. Or ill be unhappy and fail my science." she replies. Jen decides to not push the subject any further; she had worried Tilly was making decision based solely on their relationship, however, she can see the teen is having a personal struggle with her future plans. It is something she can relate too, she has not always wanted to teach; like most teachers she had simple fell into the profession not knowing what to do with her degree.

Reaching the Jeep, they turn to take in one last look of the memory filled beach; kissing each other in a warm embrace before setting off home to Hollyoaks. Neither of the women are in a rush to return home, Jen drives slowly; with traffic light kisses becoming her new favorite game of the day.

"Take me somewhere." Tilly finally announces. Her thought pattern had closely mimicked her lovers on the beach earlier. She wants to be with Jen, before they arrive back home; the pending separation fueling her passion. Jen understands the teens desire for intimacy, it matched her own; heightened always when they neared a time of forced abstinence. "maybe the shack or the car park you took me to once" Tilly adds, remembering the day the two had come together in a violent frenzy.

"O.k, I'll meet you in the Shack, half an hour after I drop you off; it should be dark then." Tilly nods and places her hand on Jen's thigh; as they drive in pent up silence.

* * *

Tilly had gone straight to the shack, deciding to wait there; she wanted to avoid having to explain to her parents why she is going back out again. She had draped a dust sheet over the cabin window, they had never been interrupted there, however, she wanted Jen to be safe. It did not feel like she has been waiting long, when she hears the familiar clinking of Jen's bangles approach the shack. She stands to open the door and ushers her lover inside, she had been using her phone as a torch, Jen had brought a thick waxed candle anticipating the darkness; she lights it and places it in the center.

Tilly is standing with her back to Jen at the door, she wedges a piece of wood into the handle; so the door will not open from the outside. She feels Jen press up against her back, her arms wrapping around her waist; she tilts her head as Jen begins to Kiss her neck.

"You're nervous?" Jen whispers into her lovers ear.

"A little." Tilly responds, placing her own hands over Jen's "I just want you to be safe." she adds. Jen knows the risks and tonight she is prepared to take it, her love filled lust is mixing with the dusk air; she has wanted Tilly since the beach. She has no idea when they will get a chance to be together again; she also worries Tilly will not want to after she confesses to the job offer.

She turns Tilly around swiftly and pushes her back into the door, finding the teens mouth in the process, theirs lips and tongues fuse in a breathless fever. Jen finally stops and pushes her forehead to Tilly's.

"Sorry" she says panting, noting the forcefulness of her arousal. "I didn't mean to be rough." She adds.

"I want you to be a little rough with me." Tilly announces in a breathless whisper. "I don't know how long it will be till we are together again." she adds, Jen now realises that Tilly had come to the same conclusion as her. "I want to be able to still feel you, over the next few day...to still feel your lips on mine." the teen adds "To still feel you inside me."

Jen cannot wait any longer, she reaches up Tilly's skirt and gently pulls her underwear to her knees; then slowly strokes back up her inner thigh. Tilly's own wondering hands stop suddenly, as she feel Jen penetrate her; she gasps and looks at her lover.

Jen looks back at Tilly, with her free hand she strokes the teens face "Have I hurt you?" she asks, she is afraid she has lost herself in the passion. Tilly shakes her head and swallows, she is panting too hard to speak. "Do you want me to stop?" Jen asks, wanting to make sure. Tilly shakes her head again, and once her breath is steady she kisses Jen. The brunette kisses her deeply back and re-positions her body pressed up against the teens.

"Wow. Is that your heart beat or mine." Tilly whispers to the brunette, as their chests rise and fall together.

"I can rarely tell anymore." Jen answers honestly. She closes her eyes, exhales slowly releasing both her breath and her restraint; giving in to the lust fully. Tilly tilts her head back against the door, she stares at the ceiling as sound less breaths pump from her mouth as her body is thrust repeatedly into ecstasy.

Jen nibbles gently on Tilly's jaw line and neck, her own breathing heavy, the women both alive with mutual arousal. Jen takes a sharp intake of breath, as her lover's body clenches around her fingers, she feels Tilly cum on her hand; the teens orgasm triggers her own body to release.

Jen shuffles them both to the sofa and falls upon it heavily; she lays Tilly's exhausted body on top of her and holds her tight. They lie still together for a few moments, enjoying the closeness, both allowing their bodies to relax .

Jen strokes her lovers hair and wishes she could hold her through the night like at Ky's apartment.

"I wish we were anywhere else in the world right now." Tilly finally announces, not moving from resting her head on Jen's chest.

"You know...this is going to get harder before it gets easier." The brunette replies.

"I don't care, I'm strong, I won't get lost." Tilly responds, shifting her body around; so she can face the teacher.

"What if im the one who gets lost?" Jen replies, she knows she does not have the teens strength.

"Then I'll jump down the rabbit hole and find you...I will always find you." Tilly says with a reassuring smile. Jen leans forward and kisses her, 'That's what I'm afraid of.' she replies in her head.

Tilly unfastens the top two buttons on Jen's dress, pulling the material down; exposing her right breast. She leans down and sucks hard on the skin just above the bra cup, after several minutes she sits back up.

"This will take a week to fade...by then I will be in your arms again." she adds to the movement. Jen smiles warmly and hopes the teen is right.

Tilly stands from the sofa and pulls her underwear up from half way down her legs. "Please excuse me while I adjust my clothes. My lustful lover slightly disheveled me" she giggles and straddles Jen, kissing her passionately on the lips. The brunette shifts her weight to get into a more comfortable position, however slips; hitting her elbow.

"Oow, my funny bone!" she calls out, as her opposite hand clutches her elbow. Tilly climbs off Jen laughing at the injury. "It's not funny" the brunette shout playfully.

"I think it very Humerus." Tilly mocks with an anatomy pun. Jen rolls her eyes and giggles. "let me kiss it better" the teen states with a smile. Tilly kisses Jen's nose.

"That's not my elbow Tilly?. Jen states. Tilly moves down and kisses her nipple. "that's not my elbow either" Jen adds laughing.

"hmmm Now I know it's around her somewhere. If only I had paid more attention in my biology class." Tilly jests. Moving down the sofa and Jen's body. She pushes up the brunette's dress and pulls down her underwear. Leaning back down she begins to lightly caress Jen with little sucking kisses.

"Tilly that is definitely not my elbow." Jen states, giggling and reaching out for the teens head, Tilly does not respond and simply continues to kiss her intimately. "Miss Evans my elbow is up here?" She continues. This time Tilly looks up.

"I have to disagree. You maybe a teacher but I'm the potential Doctor. I think I should know my anatomy. I am 100% sure it is here." Tilly says with a cheeky smirk.

"I think you were right on the beach...you are going to fail science." Jen says smirking back, She feels Tilly's tongue gently touch her and begin to search.

"um...on further...consideration...oh wow...I think...you...are maybe...ohhh..right Dr Evans. Jen announces, relaxing into the chair; her head thrown back resting on the cushions. her eyes close as their environment once again fades into oblivion.


	27. Chess

Big shout out to the dedicated youtube ladies, could not have done this chapter without you. Also, If you haven't seen it yet check out 'Jen and Tilly: Nitesky' very well done. Sorry for the Hollyoaks drama but I want to keep it authentic for you...decided to play a game to cheer things up...how many Les movies can you spot in the next two chapters :o) Hope you enjoy both these, please leave review. Cleo x (part 2 later this evening)

Note: writing in italics belong to Hollyoaks (The show that Jen and Tilly use to be in ha ha)

* * *

_And with words unspoken, a silent devotion._

_I know you know what I mean and the end is unknown._

_But I think I'm ready, as long as you're with me._

_...being as in love with you as I am._

_The XX - Angels_

Tilly had woken in a warm haze of sunshine, that was seeping through the cracks in her bedroom curtains. She was alone, however, it was Monday morning; the day brought with it an anticipation of change...as well as her printable tickets.

Tilly walks out across the village, the weather and her mood reflects in her choice of yellow dress. She is oblivious to her surroundings, simply staring at the email confirmation tickets in her hands from Adieu Air international; Heathrow to Sydney airport. She smiles to herself reading over the information, for the hundredth time that morning, her head in the clouds already flying away to the unseen world; the tickets are physical and their escape finally tangible.

It is early morning, yet she can not contain her excitement any longer; waltzing over to meet the brunette in a prearranged text. Bouncing across the green to await the arrival of her beautiful lover Miss Jenifer Gilmour; she reads her name across the tickets; giggling to herself in sheer contentment.

She is already sat on the bench when the teacher arrives, Tilly watches Jen's body sway in her blue and white dress, her eyes bound to the bare legs elegantly striding across the grass towards her; she beams and holds the print out to Jen.

_"Australia...?"_ the older woman asks more in alarm than a question.

_"Then New Zealand...oh and Fiji_" Tilly announces, pleased with herself. Jen looks at her stunned over the paper. _"Leaving Thursday."_ Tilly continues, ignoring Jen's shock.

_"...and coming back when?" _Jen answers, while sinking to the bench beside Tilly; she needs to sit before she falls over.

Tilly laughs _"Well it's an open ticket...so a month, a year...Never."_ she says animated with a cheesy grin. What did it matter when they came back, their chemical affinity is cemented, they were free from social constraint, free to love each other for eternity if they so wished too.

Jen reads the paper in her hands and her eyebrows begin to furrow in confusion and shock. Her spontaneous lover had beat her to it again in a move to counteract her own; being in love with Tilly is like playing a game of chess. Jen had come today with intentions of confessing her job acceptance to her younger lover, now she is sat with a further twist in her already shaking hands. Jen looks at the teen, she is amazing, a year ago Jen would have melted in excitement, if someone had given her even half this romantic gesture; Tilly is not to know it was all to late.

There should be a clear distinction between a summer of love and a year away as partners, yet even Jen cannot find the rationality as her resolve begins to dissolve with every heartbeat and every breath; every inch of her body wants to say yes to this enticing proposition. 'No' she jolts herself back into reality, Tilly cannot quit college for her; if she loves her she has to free her.

_"Tilly this is insane!"_ Jen announces.

_"I know!"_ Tilly responds, excited and blissfully oblivious to Jen inner chaos.

_"How did you even pay for it?"_ The teacher acknowledges, slightly coming to her senses.

_"Oh that's not important."_ Tilly dismisses. Jen turns away concerned. "_oh come on. you were dying to get out of here last week." _she adds. _"What is stopping us, give me one good reason." _

_"Tilly..."_ Jen's heart suddenly sinks and she looks down ashamed, her younger lover is right, however, there is one very good reason she cannot go. Tilly interrupts her before she can confess.

_"Come on...it will be just us. sea, sunshine."_ she moves closer looking longingly at Jen's lips. _"Like that day you seduced me on Crosby beach" _she adds.

_"I did not seduce_ _you."_ Jen replies rolling her eyes, warmed by her lovers playfulness, momentarily distracted again from the reality.

_"Fine then. stay here, settle down, grow old." _The teen falls back into the seat but remains jovial. "or..." she continues edging closer towards Jen's mouth. The brunette's stomach fills with butterflies as their lips meet; such a simple kiss but the truth is Jen has never been kissed like this before; because it came from a place of true intensity. The lips belonged to a women who is literally prepared to give up everything for her. Tilly pulls away slowly "or come with me" she states smiling but hovering only centimeters from Jen's face. The physical connection lost but the fire still jumping between their lips, like electricity dancing through the air from one Isolator to another.

Jen's eyes move back to her lovers mouth. she is so in love with the teen the closeness is almost unbearable; yet, the centimeter distance is excruciating. She leans in and seals the connection, reaching up and holding the back of Tilly's neck; pulling her in closer. Who cares who saw. Tilly succumbs to the kiss, both women were no longer on the bench, the teens hand reaches to her lovers cheek; completing the circuit; the energy flowed through them freely and fully charged.

Both women sigh as they break for air. _"Oz her we come!"_ Tilly announces and jumps from the bench before Jen can regain her composure.

"Where are you going?" she calls after Tilly; she had not confessed the truth yet.

"College coffee to meet the gang." The teen calls back giggling. leaving Jen lost and delirious; and alone on the bench.

"What the Fuck has just happened?" She states out loud to herself; her profanity making her realise that there is only one person she needs to phone and immediately.

* * *

How did you do? here is a clue there are Eleven. See you later tonight with the answers and part 2! Cleo x


	28. Wired

Answers: 1. Cracks 2. Affinity 3. Head in the clouds 4. Unseen world 5. Bound 6. An unexpected love 7. Intentions 8. Summer of love 9. With every heartbeat 10. Fire 11. Lost and delirious *;o) x there are a few more in this one, see if you can spot them. enjoy xx

* * *

Tilly had left college coffee less than a minute ago, after having a less than enthusiastic conversation with her shocked friends about her traveling in four days. They may not have said anything to destroy her good mood, yet, Sinead had successfully annoyed her; enough for her to storm out the café. Firstly the scouser's out of character concern for her education _"Tilly your up for straight A's!" _and swiftly followed by "Stupidest idea I've ever heard, I'm telling ya." which had finally pushed Tilly to leave.

She can barely communicate with Sinead these days, she struggles to find common ground with her college friend. It is an added strain that she continually confessed openly her dislike for Jen; Tilly resents that she had to leave the comments unchallenged and her lover not defended; it did not sit right with her, leaving her feeling resentful.

She knows it is not really her friends fault, she is sure if the affair was not a secret, Sinead would find a new perspective of the circumstance. It is not like she is going out of her way to attack Tilly; it is just a another negative by product to a forbidden affair. The secrets and endless lies she is forced to tell her friends can only lead to their confusion, she acknowledges this may have come as a shock to them; only Neil would truly understand the predicament that would lead to this decision.

She suddenly hears him shouting her name _"I'm not in the mood for another lecture Neil."_ she snaps a little more aggressively than she had intended.

_"You're going with Miss Gilmour._" he states, making her stop mid step; demonstrating he has understood the decision; despite his shock. He had hoped the teacher had talked her out of quitting college, especially after their 'talk' on the bridge. Perhaps she had tried, he knew how strong Tilly could be at times; her conviction is usually solid.

_"Aren't you?_" he adds, catching up with her, she does not answer but turns to face him . _"You must really love her then."_ he acknowledges knowing that the usually studious Tilly would not throw away her education without careful consideration. She nods. _"Look is there anything I can do or say that will change your mind?" he adds._ she shakes her head but smiles. He is not happy with the decision, however, keeps his opinion to himself.

Tilly edges forward _"Thanks for keeping quiet about all of this Neil." _she adds with a warm smile.

_"Hey, what are good friends for."_ he replies, draping his arm around Tilly's shoulders. _"Come back in yeah? we've only got you for a few more days."_ he adds walking her back to the café.

_"What even tho you all think I'm crazy?"_ she jest back, her previous annoyance disappeared.

_"Even tho"_ he jokes back. "Let me buy you a farewell coffee?" he asks.

"Make it a Mocha." she replies with a smile.

"See, why are girls so complicated man. Why not have either coffee or chocolate? simple" he quizzes shaking his head.

"Because coffee is bitter. A Mocha has the sweetness but also the caffeine, so it's better than chocolate." she says laughing at him "You're gonna have to learn these things if you ever want a girlfriend Neil." she adds mocking him.

"Well, I guess you're the expert." he replies, earning himself a playful slap.

* * *

Jen is still desperately pacing back and fourth at the folly, Tilly had left her an emotional wreck, she is terrified of losing her; now it seems she will lose her properly because Tilly is leaving Hollyoaks. Her phone finally rings.

"Where have you been? Did she mention this to you? I don't know what to do?" Jen shouts impatiently down the phone.

"Firstly sit down. Secondly slow down. you're fucking wired Jenny crayon." Ky replies with usual cockney charm. Jen sits on the near by bench and breathes out slowly.

"I'm sorry." She adds after a moment composing herself. "It's Tilly." she adds.

"No shit Sherlock. Whats happened?" comes the reply.

"She quit college but that's not all. She booked us both open tickets to travel starting in Australia." Jen states sighing, hearing it loud for the first time makes her realise the seriousness of the predicament.

"Amazing!" Ky could not resist, after all she had guessed rightly a huge gesture of love would be coming soon for her friend; world travel had surpassed her guess however.

"No! it's not amazing." Jen replies, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. "I'm gonna lose her Ky." she struggles to regulate he breathing through the sobs.

"Why?" ky replies. "I mean...knowing you...you have turned down her ticket offer, so as not to encourage her leaving college. and if I read her rightly...she wont leave...without you by her side." Ky continues.

"I'm too weak for all this. It's too much to fight continually." Jen finally replies, wiping her tears in her dress.

"Don't be too hard on yourself Jenovive. Something tell me you both can't stay away from each other for too long. Have you told her yet about the job?" she asks.

"No" Jen replies quickly.

"Well, I suggest you hurry up and break her heart. Then prepare your self for the back lash of anger that will fucking follow. But know that in seeking revenge the first thing she will do is enroll back at college...well maybe the second...firstly she will probably throw a brick through your car window." comes the matter of fact reply, followed by laughter; Ky is a better Chess player than all of them.

"I hate you." Jen responds but in jest.

"Love you too. Jender reassignment. Now go get your girl" she says hanging up before the teacher can answer. Jen sends a message to Tilly, asking her to meet her in the folly.

Tilly does not answer, forcing Jen to get lost in her thoughts; her memory wonders back dangerously to the night they spent at Ky's apartment.

_She asked her lover to turn over, so she could hide her tears,Tilly had just completely overwhelmed her; she had made her cum at the mere thought of their love. She is years older than the teen, however, is being taught so much about connectivity and communication. She hears a contented sigh escape Tilly's lips, as her own lightly caress a private journey of arousal across her back; the hairs on the teens body stand to attention._

_Jen nibbles lightly on her lovers bum before returning back up her body, she kneels either side of the teens hips; then places Tilly's arms above her head on the pillow. Lowering her own body on top of Tilly, she pins the teen to the bed with her own body weight; using her left hand to hold her arms down._

_She blows lightly into the red-heads ear and slides in her moist tongue, Tilly gasps at the sensation; then groans as her aroused hips jerk, held in place unable to move beneath her lover. "You can't move, your mine." Jen whispers seductively into her ear. She reaches around and slides her hand between Tilly's body and the bed, reaching the teens groin.  
_

_"Jen" the teen calls out breathless, her voice muffled by the pillow in front of her face. "Oh God, please Jen don't" Tilly continues. Tilly sexual arousal mixing with the claustrophobic hold her lover has over her body, is overwhelming her senses. Jen slides her fingers hard against Tilly clit simultaneously pushing down her own hips to halt any movement from the teen; Jen feels her younger lover almost pass out beneath her. Instead of stopping, she then slides two finger inside her; her lover cums immediately...her body trembling then falling limp; Tilly had literally fainted at the sensation.  
_

She sighs heavily shaking her head back into the present, she is so nervous and scared; she wishes both their pain could be avoided.

_"Hey"_ she is interrupted as if on que by Tilly's entrance. she turns nervously looking at the teen.

_"What kept you?"_ she asks abruptly, not frustrated at the red-head but more at her own slowly deleting will power, with every passing moment she is bottling it.

_"I came as soon as I got your text. Whats up?"_ the brunette looks down and exhales heavily. _"Jen?"_ Tilly asks this time more concerned.

_"I..um.."_ she remains looking down, afraid that if she looks up and makes eye contact with her; she will fall under her spell and fold. She braces herself and looks up _"I can't go with you."_ she says, then immediately looks back down again at her fidgeting hands.


	29. Betrayal

_Just a quickie ;op to fill the gap. Hope you Enjoy, Cleo xx  
_

* * *

_"What?"_ Tilly announces, with a much more serious look on her face. 'Maybe she is just nervous' the teen concluded clearly still in a state of denial.

_"it's alright to be nervous.." _she adds, smiling again in an attempt to regain her lovers positive outlook _"...once we get going it will be fine.." _she continue.

"_No Tilly_" Jen interrupts the teenager as she babbles nervously. "_I took the job at Hollyoaks Sixthform._" Tilly's face drops immediately at the news.

"_You can't have...you would of told me._" The teen replies, not really sure what is happening.

"_I should have ._" Jen replies, staring at her hands; feeling suddenly ashamed of her silence.

Tilly stares ahead lost 'Why had Jen not told her something like this...why would she have not discussed it with her. ' her mind swirls with confusion. She says something to Jen but is not conscious of what; Jen is responding, all she can hear is a buzz. She stares blankly, gazing down, trying to fight the negative emotions filling her head. her mouth forcing her lips shut in a crooked line; She is struggling to process the confession from Jen. She tries to zone back in and drown out the tinnitus.

_"...but that time is over for me now. its your turn." _She hears the tail end of Jen's speech and looks up into her deep brooding eye; she notes the compassion, however, fails to believe it.

Everything she had done is to save Jen, for the relationship; is she alone in this? She stares intently at the brunette _"I have given up everything for this... for you" _she adds, fighting the tears and pain that is rising up within her, caused by the betrayal.

_"Oh Tilly" _Jen replies, noting the teen's suffering 'I know you have babe...that's why I have to stop this. I love you. see through this.' she answers in her head and instinctively tries to reach out to younger lover.

_"Don't!"_ Tilly states, moving out of Jen's reach. Starring once more into her teachers eyes, allowing the brunette to see her pain; she storms away. She did not want Jen to witness her heart break as well, she felt so alone.

She takes two steps, her legs buckle , she falls into a crouch position on the floor. Jen runs to her, however, is stopped in her tracks ,as Tilly holds up her hand firmly in a stopping signal to halt her and keep her away. _"Don't" _she announces again. It is bad enough she had shown her pain and lost her pride; the last thing she needed is Jen's pity.

She exhales deeply and composes herself. "When?" she manages to say, in a half whisper; still facing the floor. Jen's eyes begin to fill with tears, she cannot bring herself to answer. "WHEN?" Tilly shouts, pulling herself up from the ground.

"Tilly I...W..What does it matter?" Jen answers, trembling as her tears begin to roll. The reply fuels Tilly's growing anger, the rage replacing her anguish.

"What does is matter? huh! probably nothing to you. but I want to know how many times have I let you kiss me since" She finally makes eye contact with the brunette. "How many times have I been touched by a stranger." she adds bitterly. Jen looks down at her hands, trying desperately to remain strong whilst her chest is collapsing.

"When Huxley green fell through..." Jen finally answers..

"Before the hotel?...I was with you that night" Tilly Interrupts.

Jen shakes her head "No not then I swear...Tilly...please" she begs; she is trying to protect her from the truth. 'God I'm destroying her.'

"When? Jen...I want to know the exact point where you betrayed me." Tilly demands. Jen looks up again with pleading eyes. "When?" Tilly states again. this time through gritted teeth. Jen knows she has to tell her lover the truth. She sighs hard.

"The phone call...the night we...Diane interrupted us...it was keeler." Jen answers slowly.

"Oh Jen.." Tilly replies, her anger dissolves back into anguish, tears stream down her cheeks now; she fidgets on the spot. "You were down stairs accepting the job...as I lay upstairs in YOUR bed... like a fool." she brings her hands to her face suddenly, in further realization "oh god...you came back upstairs after and fucked me Jen." she turns her back on the brunette. "I'm such an idiot." she states, more to her self than to the teacher. She walks away, slowly and without looking back; the teacher knows not to follow.


	30. The Aftermath Part 1

Well, the bad news is CC is very poorly and I have been quarantined to the bedroom by my girlfriend. The good news is...she left me my laptop yay...so that means lots of chapters while I heal in isolation :o) I hope you enjoy, review and don't catch the flu x Cleo

(Hollyoaks own the speech in italics)

* * *

The Aftermath part 1- Tilly

_'Twas a new feeling - something more_  
_Than we had dared to own before,_  
_Which then we hid not;_  
_We saw it in each others_ _eye,_  
_And wished, in every half-breathed sigh,_  
_To speak, but did not._

_Thomas Moore - Did not_

Tilly stands on the wooden bridge that rises above the murky water, her tickets in hand; she stares through them. Standing now in the same spot, where only days earlier, Jen had also stood with the same sinking realization; both contemplating a life without the other. Like the teacher, Tilly is interrupted by Neil's footsteps.

_"Eh whats up?"_ Tilly looks towards him, sadness still etched across her face; she is not even strong enough to fake a façade. _"Whoa...now that's a miserable face."_ he announces walking towards her. Tilly gazes back down into the dirty water below her, he smiles trying to shake her mood _"You ok?"_ he attempts again.

_"Oh yeah"_ she finally responds sarcastically, crossing her arms across her tummy in a subconscious move to protect her hurt from Neil. _"...apart from the fact my dad is, Literally, going to string me up." _she adds, preferring to concentrate on this issue rather than her heart ache; to stay strong she needs to play that element down.

_"Why?"_ He asks, finally reaching his friends side. She blinks her eyes, feeling deflated. She did not really care so much about that part anyway, her dad killing her maybe a blessing; to end the agony Jen had just left behind.

_"Never mind"_ she replies, not trying to be dismissive; she is just exhausted emotionally.

_"Come on tills you know you can talk to me."_ Neil urges with compassion, he can see his friend is in pain. Tilly knows he has been so good to her over the past few week, she looks at him, pulling out of her morose trance, he deserves an explanation; it is obvious he cares.

_"You know these tickets for the trip._" She looks away ashamed of the confession, it is after all so out of character for her. Like when she was at Ky's, Jen admitted to a drastic character change, it is as obvious to her now, how much she had also transformed. She bites her lower lip and sighs, looking back out over the water "_I stole the money from my education fund" _she adds.

Neil tuts and turns his head away _"Oh come on Tilly!"_ he states, not liking the impact this relationship is having on his friends character.

_"I know, I know..."_ she interrupts, she knows how this all looks. _"and now Jens'_ _blown me off too...so it was all for nothing." _she tries to say in as nonchalant a way as possible, however, saying it finally out loud makes her angry; her jaw clenches at the taste of the betrayal.

_"Jen? why?"_ Neil asks back confused, Maybe the teacher had listened to him after all.

_"Coz_ _she's a selfish cow!"_ Tilly responds bitterly, still lost in the recent anger. The comment, however makes Neil laugh. _"Yep she dumped me and the £2000 tickets...without a second thought."_ she adds, still looking ahead; Neil suddenly realising the price of the tickets.

_"You stole £2000 from your dad!?"_ he announces in alarm.

_"Borrowed"_ she defends herself, Neil shakes his head again in disbelieve; this is not the Tilly Evans he knew. _"What am I going to do?"_ she continues, sighing as she wraps the sheet against the wooden post in frustration, walking off past Neil, not really sure of her direction; yet, moving seemed like the correct course of action.

_"Tilly!" _Neil calls after her. Huffing when she does not stop or answer; he follows after her anyway. He catches up with her and wraps his arm around her shoulder _"_Come on" he adds leading the way.

"Where we going?" she asks, however, glad that someone else had taken the lead; she is to demoralized to think logically or objectively.

"To the library...coz we need to sell this ting...and give you dad back his money Tills." he replies with a smile. Despite the fact he can see Tilly is in pain and maybe in serious trouble with her parents, Neil can see a huge positive development occurring. It is obvious his friend will now go back to study at the Sixth form college; her dad will enforce it anyway and an immediate lock down. With no Jen as a distraction and being grounded indefinitely, she will probably throw herself into her studies to avoid thinking; he concluded this could only be a good thing. 'Maybe Miss Gilmour is not such a selfish cow after all.' he thinks to himself. "So what did Miss Gilmour say?" Neil inquires, both in concern and for evidence to support his theory.

"She took the job...she is the new Hollyoaks Art teacher." Tilly replied. "She didn't even discuss it with me Neil...big things like that should be a joint discussion." she adds.

" What like...tickets around the world." he responds and squeezes her shoulder playfully. She understood his point, however, did not really agree with the comparison.

"Yeah I know but my silence was for a romantic surprise. Her silence was fear and well...selfishness. I mean do know how many times since she accepted the post we've..." She suddenly trails off realising she is giving too much information; plus she still has no wish to stop protecting Jen even after the relationships had ended; she is angry but not cruel.

"How many times you what?" Neil asks with a smirk and raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh shut up..."she replies laughing and pushing him playfully. "Talked Neil...I meant to say talked since." she adds .

"Yeah sure you did!" he responds giggling "That the problem with you lesbians...too much talking not enough sex." he concludes, as the arrive at the library now both laughing.


	31. Aftermath part 2

**Thank you for all your comments...'to get well soon'...really appreciated it all. The next chapter is nearly complete, so you'll get it very soon x Cleo**

* * *

**The Aftermath Part 2 - Jen**

Jen had returned home following the fight, she had been crying and wanted to be alone; a shower and a change of outfit had finally helped her calm down. Alone in the house, she felt trapped in her own head, so had gone for a walk to get some air; her legs had carried her aimlessly to college coffee. She had not cried since leaving the house, however, her eyes were puffy; had anyone paid any closer inspection they could have easily seen the teachers upset.

She slightly envies Tilly's youthful prioritisation, she had long forgotten how to rationalize a decision based on how good it made her feel; a skill only possessed by the young and the free. People like her made it possible for people like Ky and Tilly to act on instinct and throw responsibility to the wind; a world could not exist without the worker bees. society needed order to survive, otherwise chaos would ensue; the free were only free within the safe compound of structure.

Yet, on the other hand, it is her younger lover who is able to control and suppress her desires. Jen's lust for Tilly is insatiable and she has struggled from the start to keep her hands, eyes, lips and mind from wandering desperately all over the teens body. Tilly is like a drug to her, logic tells her to stay clear from something so detrimental to her life and health; yet, the more she abstains the more she yearns for her.

Only an hour before she had stood in the shower, her tears swirling into the steaming warm water; they had only been a few hours apart. However, she knew that this time Tilly would not be back, the thought had provoked such a longing in the brunette; her hand had slide slowly down her stomach.

She brought her forehead resting on the cold bathroom wall tiles, the water falling onto her neck, cascading down her back; the rest falling over her shoulders. The liquid flowed over her breast, adding even further lubrication as the teacher slid her finders hard across her swallow clitoris; until plunging them deep inside herself. She thrusts in rough movements, in a metaphorical act of self harm, the unnecessary force to physicalize her emotional suffering; her body releasing in unison with her inner turmoil. She had cum fast and hard, her free hand shooting to the wall for support; it had not helped. She slid helplessly down the slippery wall, far too emotionally weak to fight gravity; she curled up into a ball and let the water fall heavily upon her knees.

Back here in the present, she is nursing a cup of coffee, that has long since gone cold. When she is finally interrupted, she does not even hear her brother arrive and sit down opposite her.

_"Cheer up it might never happy" _he states sarcastically at her sullen face not realizing she is actually deeply hurting. Jen raises her eyes briefly, however, cannot attempt a smile. When she does not to join in his laughter, Liam moves in closer; seeing the tear tracks down her cheeks. _"oh god!"_ he announces sympathetically moving round the table to sit next to his sister. _"Whats up?" _he questions.

_"Nothing"_ Jen states, suddenly placing a hand on her shoulder in a body language move to protect her self, the other hand reaches to her mouth to subconsciously stop herself from telling the truth. Liam had made clear his feelings on the student/teacher relationship; he is also under a false impression that Jen had ended things.

_"Well, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me."_ he announces. Jen tries desperately to fight back tears. He might not like the truth, however, she had no doubt that he would still support her; his objection to Tilly came from a place of protection not malice. She needed someone to talk to she could trust, she did not expect a positive response, she just needed to get it out of her head. She swallows down hard.

_"I think I might of upset Tilly."_ she says, tryng to censor the truth, to hide the intensity of her true feelings 'I think ive just successfully broke the heart of the women I'm in love with' hardly seemed the appropriate thing to say, even if she trusted Liam; it would not be worth the resorting argument. _"I don't think...I know." _she adds.

_"and why would you have done that."_ he responds unimpressed and sinking back into the chair. 'Jen what are you doing still with her?' he adds in his head annoyed and his sisters recklessness.

_"Just a disagreement."_ she replies, sighing.

_"and why would a disagreement with a student..."_ he says and turns to look at her, making it obvious he is being pedantic _"...upset you."_

Jen looks at him and swiftly away, however, does not speak, she does not need to; Liam can read her. She knows he has already worked it out anyway, it is clear enough in her upset, that this means more to Jen than she is openly admitting; that Tilly means more to her than she is allowed to admit.

_"I knew it"_ he states annoyed and leans back again, this time frustrated at her lies; plus even more concerned about her self disruptive spiral. 'why is she gambling her life away on this stupid infatuation'

Jen cannot help but feel patronized _"You don't get it."_ she states, wanting to defend herself.

_"Yeah too right I don't."_ he turns more serious now moving back into her and speaking in a stern audible whisper _"What are you playing at!?...your her teacher"_

"I know" Jen announces with an annoyed head shake. 'I'm not as stupid as you clearly think I am. I may have messed this all up...but I'm doing the right thing now...which is why I am hurting so much...because despite all of your oppositions Liam...I'm fucking in love with her...which is why I've been taking all these stupid risks.' she breathes deeply to stop her mind rant. It is not his fault, he is trying to protect her, any loving brother would. A hug, however, would have been a nicer gesture than stating the obvious.

_"You can't have a relationship with her...you'll get banged up!" _he continues in a serious tone.

_"Yeah well. there's nothing to worry about anymore."_ she replies. Stage one is complete, I've successfully broken her heart and she now hates me. Jen sighs and leans back _"Trust me...this time it's really over." she adds._

On top of everything that had happened, Tilly had warned her at Ky's, one more time and she would leave; she would not fight for the relationship anymore. All she had left was to cling to the hope that ky is right; and ky rarely is wrong. Tilly would get mad, then even; eventually she would calm down and forgive her... 'She will forgive me, right?'


	32. Numb

Hi all, I am really sorry for the wait…I have been away. Thank you for your comments and encouragement during my absence. There is a full chapter on the way next week but I thought I'd give you a little taster of what is to come. Let me know what you think. CC xx

_"And you were strong and I was not,_

_My illusion, my mistake_

_I was careless, I forgot_

_I did."_

_Impossible_

She woke ten minutes before her alarm; her body clock had become accustom to a subconscious routine. Her body functioning from memory and not through choice; it has been the same for so long now.

It had happened after the day she stood by like a coward, watching her younger lover take the blame for the reason behind the theft of her father's savings. The pupil's justified anger had later erupted in anti-social behaviour within college, leaving them both hurting and more importantly over.

The young teacher had since placed her mind on auto drive in an abstract attempt to avoid emotions. Emotions she is still unable to control, feelings she is forbidden to acknowledge.

Months had passed since she had closed the door on their affair, months since her mind had been challenged. She is numb and her actions merely simulated. Wake. Work. Sleep. Repeat.

She walks towards the college; teenagers line the walls, like birds on a phone line, looking down on their unsuspecting prey. Like in the wild, the stronger pick off the weak .

If she or any of the other teachers paid more attention, they would see Sinead and Ruby perched there; but even those that looked rarely saw.

It is no excuse but teaching has moved so far away from the face to face ethos of care. They were pressured with results and laden with paperwork. Pupils were losing their faces, to be replaced by a statistic.

For Jen there is only one face that stands out in the equation of numbers that currently litter the college hallways. It is the same face that haunts her dreams and tortures her will power daily with its silence. The face belonged to Tilly.

She passes the auburn teenager, who leans against the lockers, their eyes briefly meet and for a moment Jen is almost pulled from her desensitised prison. Then the teenager looks away, cold; without any affirmation of the unspoken connection. Her feelings freeze once more as the wave of reality washes over her. Would Tilly ever talk to her again?

Jen turns towards her art room door and pauses at the reflection staring back at her in the glass. "feels like I haven't seen the real you in so long." She whispers to herself. "I need to get you back… and then Tilly."


End file.
